Single for 3 years and starting to feel like shit?

I have been single for 3 years now.. I am good looking, take care of myself, good job, good friends… but Im so tired of being single. I never wanted to settle with someone I wasn't in love with. I keep meeting men but there's never the perfect connection, there's always something wrong… Im tired of being single… I can get sex if i want to but what I need now is a life partner, someone who will love me and who I can give my love to, someone to count on. Im so tired of the superficial relationships, hypocrisy dating scene… All those short, empty dating stories are starting to hurt my feelings, my mood and my self esteem. I feel like shit right now…

How do you stay positive being single for so long?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey, I have been single for 7 years now, not counting the short meaningless relationships. I know how you feel or maybe not, because those 7 years I wasn't able to let go of someone who was very dear to me but unfortunately moved away. The reason I am writing to you though, is because everyone kept telling me, don't worry you'll meet the right one and you'll forget about her, you'll learn to move on as soon as the right one would appear. Well I think I'm at that point of my life, but it is too soon to tell yet. The only thing I call tell you is. you've been waiting for 3 year. For me it has been 7 and I happier then I ever was. So maybe you're time hasn't come yet, don't worry it will. Maybe this sounds "cliché" (like what everyone else always says), but it will happen, and when it does, you didn't even had time to see it coming.

    Also I'd like to say something else, but before I do I just want to say I AM NOT CALLING YOU A SLUT!
    Since you didn't develop enough on the subject of sex, I cannot really know if you're someone who just jumps into the bed with a guy you kinda appreciate just because you're not feeling good with yourself and maybe by having sexual intercourse with someone you feel better, worth something... this is not the way to go. Maybe this isn't even the case, but as I said before, you didn't develop enough for me to rule this out.
    So here is my advice if this is the case. Get to know someone, start having some male friends. Having Sex is a great feeling and sure I makes us feel better, women or men…that's the great things about sex, but maybe getting to know someone, without sex even being in the picture is how you get to know someone that's worth having the patience.
    Every man will hate me for saying this, but I have to:
    There are always guys who are not looking for the real thing... those who are will not care that you do not wish to engage in sexual intercourse right away.
    Take your time, you'll find the right one ;)

    • Hi thank you for your answer, i think you are right and only time will help.. I haven't slept with someone in 6 months but i do date a lot. But honestly i can't sleep with someone i dont trust it does more bad than good. Anyways, its good to see after 7 years you do feel better. Ill be patient.

    • Try to be happy without someone in your life. If you appreciate and love the life you live, then adding someone special to your life will happen by itself. You'll be more open towards other people and will find yourself in a position where you will not care so much about finding someone and when you do, you'll see that you can get even happier. (hard to explain, hope you get what I'm trying to say)


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What Guys Said 8

  • 3 years huh.
    I have been single for a f*cking 21 years!
    And to staying positive, there is unfortunately no way to, I am being brutally honest here. Just die inside day by day and fall into an eventual depression, that is how you deal with this solitude.

    I have tried timeband again to distract myself by picking up a sport of hobby, but at the end of the day, I still want the warmth of being hugged and cared for and to cuddle with someone. So to all those who tell you to pick up a hobby and etc, it is all just BS. It doesn't work as efficaciously as people describe it to be, my friend.

    • Hi thanks for the honest answer. It is really a bad feeling i think at least knowing we aren't alone in that situation does help a bit.

  • And finally, I'm reading the remarks of someone who's becoming increasingly philosophical. Date a philosopher! Seriously, these guys have substance, they're cool. And even if you don't meet the right guy, being single is awesome - I should know!

    • sometimes its good but i do feel something missing

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    • You must have quite an objective view, considering your screen name is "Plato" :)

    • Plato was kind of my hero, but not so much as Socrates (the name was taken). But yeah, I do feel the same way as you, there is an emptiness. I remember I got lucky a few months ago, spent the night spooning with some girl, not half bad looking, kind of craved that moment so much I relapsed back to smoking.

  • I've been single for 3 years as well and having the same problem in regards to connection. Keep putting yourself out there, do the things that you enjoy in life and eventually you'll find someone with the same interests as you that you can spend time with. But I feel you though.

    and so does nony

  • I don't really stay positive. I just become emotionally numb so I don't really feel the negative feels.

    • Thats a bit how i feel too

  • K, why would you say you're "good looking" and then go anonymous. That's called being cocky. You're bragging which is saying something without proving it. No proof, no truth... and since I know womens self worth are in their looks...

    • im not here to brag i dont feel good and just need advice

    • Show All
    • lol ok thanks for the nice comments

    • You're welcome

  • I feel the same way. I honestly don't know the answer to that but I'm still just waiting i guess :)

  • I've been single for much longer than that, and I feel amazing.
    I love being single. I know who I am and love the person I've become. :D

    • I mean I dont hate being single. I love my life, I love people around me. Its just that when I meet someone new I remember how good it is to be in someones arms, the romance, the excitement… then when it fails Im back to normal life and it seems dull...

    • I'm glad you love life. it is nice having someone to be with... maybe you can buy a small teddy bear for yourself?

    • I actually cuddle with my pillow ahah :)

  • Perhaps you are looking in the wrong places.

    Ask yourself-- what kind of people do certain places attract?

    • maybe.. its harder to meet people now with my full time job

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    • Stay away from the madmen. I don't think they'd suit you, especially not that guy Campell.
      You have little choice but to keep sifting.

    • :) haha ya i try..

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