Being in an Interracial Relationship?

I'm a white girl and I'm in a relationship with my wonderful black boyfriend. The other day we decided to take a picture together and my cousin showed it to my uncle and my uncle called my mom to talk about it because he's against dating out of our race. My mom lied to him and said we're just friends, but I feel very uncomfortable with that and I feel like my family is going to try to break us up. My boyfriend makes me very happy and I don't want to lose him. What should I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have been in an interracial relationship for the past five years (my boyfriend is black also). I have experienced the same issues. An unsupportive family can certainly be disheartening and cause problems but I think you should talk to your boyfriend and figure out how he feels.

    At the beginning of my relationship, I told my boyfriend straight up that my extended family would not be supportive and may cause problems. I told him that I really liked him but I wanted him to make the decision himself if he wanted to be in this situation with me. He decided that he did not care about that and he just wanted to be with me so we have been in a happy relationship for the past five years isolated from certain members of my family but it does not bother either of us.

    So, ultimately, this is something both of you will simply need to discuss. People may say your family's opinions do not matter but that entirely depends on the individual. Some people care more about their family's opinions than being with who they want. So, this is also something you will need to figure out yourself. A family who is against your relationship can be hard to deal with but if you both love each other and you both are willing to deal with those problems for the length of your relationship, then I think you should stay together.

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What Guys Said 10

  • You are the future. They are the past. Ignore them.

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  • Your mother told your uncle he was just a friend. leave it alone. Why throw gasoline on a fire? Your mother knows the uncle is an ass so why do you want to create problems where none exist?

    The uncle is stupid, let him stay at peace in his stupid little world. Don't force him to hate you and your boyfriend because you were dumb enough to call attention to yourself. If you are going to do that then go to Jerry Springer.

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  • Ahh another white girl in her rebellious phase. Well what can I say, you sure make your dad proud don't you. Race shouldn't be a problem as i myself date latinas because white women just don't turn me on. Whatever floats your boat.

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  • My family isn't too cool about it either. If they love you they will get over it. That's been my experience

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    • Yeah, I told my mom that she should have told the truth and that they have to get over it because he makes me happy.

  • If it came down to it. Family over bf. family is the crutch you can rest on. A relationship can be broken far more easily than the bond that exists between family.

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    • I'm not going to choose.

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    • If they're not happy with my decision that's too bad. It should be family first for them too and they shouldn't put they're ignorant ways before what makes me happy.

    • I'm just saying don't burn bridges.

  • Do your best to ignore the naysayers and negative attention. Because your uncle has an issue with your black boyfriend, doesn't mean that you have to.

    I've learned over the years to go ahead and ignore all those people who say "stick with family through thick and thin". It's usually just silly Facebook or Tumblr posts to look all deep and prophetic. Family or not, you don't need to waste your time dragging around people who are no good in your life. If they're family or not, shitty people are shitty people.

    This doesn't mean you need to run away from your family, but you're not obligated to listen or deal with bullshit simply because the person is related to you. Ignoring the silly comments and behavior is the best way to go about it. Focus on your relationship, and let the agitated ones deal with their own feelings.

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  • Your picking a hard way to go about life, make sure your strong enough

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  • Never mind him. He's your uncle and all, but he has no say in who you date.

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What Girls Said 8

  • The colour of someone's skin is nothing to judge them on ! If he makes you happy do what you want don't break up with him because he's not the same colour as u. Point out to your family that he treats u well and you love him. That should be a good enough reason for them to accept him

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  • Love is colorblind hun, don't live your life with regrets. :)

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  • I had this problem too (he is my ex now)
    I felt like my parents were immature and didn't want me to be happy, I told them if they didn't accept it, it didn't matter to me at all.

    I guess people don't just grow up

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  • My dad would flip if I dated a black guy. He's a bit racist. But I would tell him he should respect me if he loves me and allow me to be happy with whoever I choose.

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  • Don't let that get in the way of your happiness. If they really love you, they would accept whoever you are dating. Stay strong.

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  • You do whatever makes you happy! They're your family and should want happiness for you. They may not be used to it now, but over time, they will be accepting of it.
    I was in an interracial relationship in my late 20's. The first of my family to date outside of our race. Admittedly, it was an adjustment for them at first, but once they saw how happy I was and got to know the guy, they were happy for me too. Good luck! :)

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  • Well, you have to choose between them and your boyfriend. Think about what's more important to you and then make a decision
    Dating outside your race shouldn't be a problem, because it's normal.

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    • I'm not going to choice between my family and my boyfriend.

    • That was only a suggestion. It doesn't mean that you have to do this. Just do what do you think it's the best for you and what makes you happy.

  • You're family is just looking out for you. Most black guys cheat so I would just be careful about being in a relationship with one

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