Black girls aren't my preference, but I really get on with her- what should I do?

So like I said in my question- black girls aren't my preference. I don't know why this is the case, it just is. Same reason why I'm not automatically attracted to brunettes I suppose.

That's not to say I can't be, it's just rare.
There's this amazing girl at work who is stunning, and a great personality... but she's taken!

Anyway, this girl I know... we are quite similar in a way, and I can see us really getting on and having a laugh.
She's funny, infectious personality, and cute... but I'm just not attracted to her at all.
In fact it's really frustrating me, as I want to be attracted to her. But there's nothing that's pulling me.

Would it be healthy to ask her out, without having any attraction? Will that come in due course? Or is it pointless dating someone, having a relationship with someone... but not having the attraction/or forcing attraction?

Updates:
DID NOT MAKE THIS CLEAR AT ALL:

The girl I'm thinking about asking out, she's an entirely different girl, not the girl from work.
My bad!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like you aren't being truthful with yourself. You're saying you're not attracted to her but you still want to be around her. Sir you're attracted to her by definition you just don't think she's conventionally attractive so you're telling yourself on one hand she's not your type but on the other hand your beating yourself up for not being attracted to her. I say go for it guy.

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    • Man that's messing with my mind, but you've probably got it spot on.

    • I know man. I had the same issue with a girl I'm dating now. Met her in high school and at first I was like ah she's alright I guess. Fast forward five years and I'd stiff arm Megan Fox for her lol

    • Megan fox for her, lol!

What Girls Said 10

  • Attraction can come from non physical attributes. A lot of times girls dont like a guy who eventually becomes her boyfriend. His personalty and possibly a kiss changes her mind and he becomes the most attractive guy to her. I've noticed guys are very focused on attraction from the start... even to the point of dating a girl with a terrible personally because the attraction is so strong. I say just be friends or give her a try and see if dating her or kissing her makes you feel more attracted to her. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

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  • Don't date someone you're not attracted to. Honestly, don't. You think it'll get better, and you'll get attracted to them over time, right? You won't. You might for a bit but then after the honeymoon stage, it will all turn to shit. You will find someone with an amazing personality that you ARE attracted to, don't worry. Don't waste time on this one :)

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  • Like someone said, you're attracted to her. I think you're trying not to be. You're confused and I think it's best you stay away from her and leave her alone. All you're going to do is bring baggage and drama because she's black. I have a feeling that you might wake up one day and decide you don't want to be with her anymore because she's wasn't your preference or even want to be seen with her. I never got white dudes like this, you claim to not be attracted to us until you see a black woman who doesn't fit your stereotype smh. As I said, stay away from her please.

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    • Bit harsh. Especially since that isn't the case, but hey.
      And you missed what I said about the girl at work, I'm attracted to her without question, but again, hey.

  • i dated a guy i was not attracted to and it didn't work out. The fact that he was a nice person didn't make me any more attracted to him it actually was the missing spark and wouldn't allow me to move forward I even tried to force it. Just be friends with her if nothing happens naturally then you would be leading her on.

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  • I'm a bit confused how you can like her personality but not her looks. Personally when I'm attracted to a guys personality but not looks, eventually I end up being physically attracted to them due to their personality. The fact that you're not physically attracted to her may create some issues in your relationship over time. Do you not find her attractive physically at all? if not, than I maybe you should stay as friends. or you can try dating her if she's single and see what happens

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    • Personality is what I notice first. Attraction normally comes later, or is less of a factor (but still there).

      With this girl I can tell she is beautiful, if we are being crude, then at least a solid 8/10.
      But just because I can tell she's beautiful... doesn't mean I'm attracted if that makes sense?

      Like in the same way I can appreciate David Beckham lol. I'm no way I'm attracted to him, I'm 100% straight... but what a man! Lol
      #ManCrushMonday

  • No why would you ask girl out if you aren't attracted to her? It won't work out maybe but you could try I don't see the point but...

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  • Maybe just be friends?

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  • Well um.. She's taken lol
    I don't think asking her out would be the best option. :x

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    • My bad, see my update lol

  • I really like a guy who I will never be with, so when this cute guy asked me out I said yes. I thought he was kinda cute but I was not attracted to him. I thought I would be once we went out, but it didn't happen. Plus his personality wasn't too great either.
    So, I don't think it will work for you either.

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  • I say give it a try! She may surprise ya ;)

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What Guys Said 2

  • You never want to live a lie. Trust me I've tried it before and it created a huge mess in the end.

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    • The stupid thing is... I saw her across from a room earlier today, and she genuinely looked really pretty... you can just tell that at first glance. But no matter how hard I try, I can't feel the attraction.
      But I want to, as I know how amazing she is (I've known of her for about 10 years).

      But yeah, maybe I'll just cause problems.

    • Are you attracted to her or not... damn. Pics or this conversation never happened.

  • I live in the UK, I've been with white girls/ Asian girls/ italian girl/ indian girl but im DREAMING to get with a black chick

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