Have been with my partner for 6 years, happy most the time but over the last 6 months it has been going down hill! I don't feel the spark now and want to know what to do to get it back?
Good guys... No spark! Please help !!
What Guys Said 2
If you haven't already, talk to your partner and see if the notice it as well. Try to pinpoint what has changed, like a job or a schedule, new hobbies, changes in interests. Mayne try to do something that you used to live doing, but do it someplace or in a way you haven't done. If it's minifolf, try a new mini golf course. Perhaps try to spend more time together and take up a new hobby. If my girlfriend told me she didn't feel the same spark, I'd definitely want to try and get it back and rekindle the fire.
On thed other side of things, sometimes going to visit family with out your parter, or take a short overnight trip alone or with a couple of your friends (not friends that are really close to both of yiu) and see how things feel to be apart. Be sure to talk about it before had regardless and make point out that you simply want to relax and think a bit and that it isn't like a hall pass, or a weekend that you play single; it's more a break to see if the fire just got a bit smothered betweek the two of you.
Talk about things, do something different or new as a couple or find a hobby to share, and if that doesn't work try spending a short stretch apart from each other and stay true to each other in that time to see if you end up missing each other1
I wouldn't be surprised if it goes like this:
You can't think of anything that he's doing wrong, or even anything you'd like changed/improved (at least anything that's practical and possible). He's in as good physical condition as ever and still looks attractive (but not to you).
If that's the case, I'd say your feelings are normal. More than 50% of women react this way at a few years into a long term relationship. Most women can't stay attracted to the same man for a long time, becuase attraction chemicals in their head just wear out.
Most women think they'll find a cure by ending the relationship and starting another long term relationship (which is also doomed to fail). Some stay in the relationship to exploit their partner financially, but refuse to show him any sign of affection in the future (or any sex either).
That's life. Most women become physically and emotionally disfunctional in long term relationships. There's nothing you can do to change it.1
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