I'll never understand it. I am always called the nice sweet girl, and people love my character (plus I'm not hideous). Granted im not perfect and I do have my angry side but majority of the time, I'm kind. But men would sell their left leg to be with the loud, uncouth, and or high-maintenance girl with the personality of kleenex who couldn't find Canada on the map (trust I have a friend like this bless her heart).
Same with men. Women go for the assholes and never the nice sweet one who would treat them with respect. Why does that happen?
Most Helpful Guy
Depends on whether or not 'nice' means 'friendly, polite, sincere' or 'afraid to speak one's opinion, over-compliments people in order to obtain approval, puts forth a facade of genuine niceness while being passive-aggressive.' The former qualities are desirable, the latter qualities are not really being 'nice.'
Men and women with high self-confidence tend to go after people of the same qualities. Sometimes a side effect of self-confidence is being an asshole, although I think sometimes people are called 'assholes' for refusing to back down on their opinions or not accepting insults being directed at them. When that isn't the case, when men/women go after people who are jerks through and through, it's probably because they see a semblance of good qualities in them, even if this is sometimes a mis-perception.
Genuine niceness does not contradict self-confidence. I don't know of an equivalent for what men go after, but a good explanation of the qualities that women go after (and should not be ashamed of going after) can be found here: cavemancircus.com/.../0