Why is it that nice girls/guys finish last?

I'll never understand it. I am always called the nice sweet girl, and people love my character (plus I'm not hideous). Granted im not perfect and I do have my angry side but majority of the time, I'm kind. But men would sell their left leg to be with the loud, uncouth, and or high-maintenance girl with the personality of kleenex who couldn't find Canada on the map (trust I have a friend like this bless her heart).

Same with men. Women go for the assholes and never the nice sweet one who would treat them with respect. Why does that happen?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends on whether or not 'nice' means 'friendly, polite, sincere' or 'afraid to speak one's opinion, over-compliments people in order to obtain approval, puts forth a facade of genuine niceness while being passive-aggressive.' The former qualities are desirable, the latter qualities are not really being 'nice.'

    Men and women with high self-confidence tend to go after people of the same qualities. Sometimes a side effect of self-confidence is being an asshole, although I think sometimes people are called 'assholes' for refusing to back down on their opinions or not accepting insults being directed at them. When that isn't the case, when men/women go after people who are jerks through and through, it's probably because they see a semblance of good qualities in them, even if this is sometimes a mis-perception.

    Genuine niceness does not contradict self-confidence. I don't know of an equivalent for what men go after, but a good explanation of the qualities that women go after (and should not be ashamed of going after) can be found here: cavemancircus.com/.../

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What Guys Said 7

  • Because we think too much about consequences and in that evaluation of possible scenes we tend to give them more possibility to the negatives ones and not to the positive ones. And we lack the guts to ask for what we want.

    That's why I'm taking this year to make changes and so far is going great, but that doesn't repair that I let go the only one who made my heart skip beats...

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  • Nice girls don't finish last. Where I live, if a girl is nice, she'll be swooped away by one of the many guys waiting for a nice girl to come about. So nice single girls are rare where I live.

    I would never justify someone dating an attractive rude person over an average, kind person. Its wrong, stupid, and ends up hurting them in the end anyway! Ironically, this what most people end up doing over and over again!

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    • where do you live? i need to move there lol

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    • is it in the South?

    • HELL NO! XD

  • Nice finish last because we're always being tripped by the bad.

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  • Natural instinct vs the conscious mind

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  • Nice gurls dont finish last but nice guys do

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  • Depends. I like decent woman who are smart, mature, responsible and willing to fight for what they believe in.

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    • men call women like that lesbians. I once had a guy tell me he didn't like me because I was too opinionated.. explain that one

  • Not aggressive enough to go after and get what they want.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Nice girls are pushovers and too accommodating. this makes it easy to take advantage of you and take you for granted. nice girls are like the reliable good running Volvo that needs little maintenance. which is fine, but most men fantasize about and wish they own shit like lambos, maseratis and luxury cars. You are probably too kind to people who don't deserve it that much. Bitches will set boundaries and make guys feel like they have to work for it. guys may not admit it, but they work harder to please you if they know that you will leave if they don't act right... instead of the nice girl who is always understanding and puts up with their shit.

    one of my good friends is high maintenance but her man respects her because she speaks her mind and sets boundaries.

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  • Because they let other people go in front of them.

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  • Most of the time the nice ones think they can change the morons. I haven't been in that situation but I am not popular because I know what morals are.
    You will find some-one eventually, rather than trying to hit the bars go to volunteering places for example to raise your stakes.

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  • That's so true! There are so many nice girls without boyfriends :( one would think that the nice guys would come to the nice girls so neither of them have to be lonely.

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    • you would think so.. but i know some real bitches who constantly have men while the pretty nice one has none.. its strange

    • I know what you mean! I hate to think this but honestly sometimes I look at those bitchy girls a wonder how the heck did theu get a boyfriend. Seeing it makes me feel hopeless in the quest of finding a nice boyfriend.

  • Most people want someone who will challenge them. A lot of self professed "nice girls/guys" are pushovers and/or lack assertiveness.

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  • 1. Because being nice is NOT the only thing needed to get a relationship.
    2. You're more likely to feel this way if you go after people that aren't in your league or your social category.

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    • it isn't but it definitely helps. Who wouldn't prefer the nice rich guy over the asshole rich guy, or what man wouldn't want the nice sexy girl over the bitchy sexy girl.. but i do agree with point 2.

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    • that is the biggest oxymoron.. it just proves having it all doesn't mean your happy because happy people are nice.

    • That's true, but I actually think it makes sense in a way. A guy who doesn't have shit is obviously gonna be nice to women because otherwise, he wouldn't get anyone. But a guy who has everything may not be that nice because even if he's mean to a girl & she breaks it off with him, there's always a slew of other women waiting in line to date him.

  • Same here, it sucks.

    We are pushovers :(

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