Online dating; short, uninformative responses leading nowhere. What is going on?

I've been trying out OkCupid for about two weeks. I don't have the typical complaint (women never respond), I guess my response rate is actually pretty good comparatively (about 25%). My complaint is with the quality of responses I'm getting.

Not to get into too much detail, but I've been super selective about who I message. I tend to write three to four paragraphs about shared interests, asking questions, whatever. What I tend to get back is *maybe* a paragraph which appears hastily written. Sometimes, these responses are are written 'SMS style'. Note: I have not sent a message to anyone who has less than a masters degree, these are not dumb women.

So girls: What is going on? My working theory is that there is so many messages sent to the women on the site that they are just overwhelmed. Even when they are somewhat interested, they still don't want to invest the time necessary to write a proper response. I guess I'd be ok with that on the first reply. But some of these we've sent notes back-in-forth four times and I feel like I'm doing all of the work.

Guys: Am I the only one experiencing this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, you are not the only one who experiences this. I use OKC too, and guys really do have to put in all the work. Women just aren't interested.

    I've been talking to someone in particular for a long time, but the only way I seem to be able to engage her in a meaningful exchange is if we talk specifically about her, or we have a minor political disagreement, those are fun, sure, but she shows no real interest in me and I'm starting to wise up.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't talk online. Get her number and text her very soon! Girls are flaky online because they're getting so many messages that they're getting distracted

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What Guys Said 1

  • Most dating sites are fraudulent, especially the ones you pay for. I've been on OKcupid before, it seemed ok, but I wasn't a match for any woman on the site, less than a percent. I even got hate mail before. It's a site full of Democrat Liberal women.

    -I simply liked girls of my race around my age, that have my simple beliefs. Was that to much to as for? ! So I deleted myself from that site.

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    • Was that to much to ask for? ! So I deleted myself from that site.

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