Why does he say this stuff about me to his friends?

My bf and I have been dating for almost a year. I moved in with him a little after we first started dating because he asked me to and I thought we would give it a try. We probably fight more then most couples dating this short of a period since we lived together for most of our relationship but we seem to make it work. I also have trust issues due to my past which he gets mad about sometimes cuz he just wants me to trust him. Well im. writing this mainly because of how he canact when we r out. When we first started dating he acted like we were together when we were out. Now sometimes he doesn't talk to me much so basically ignores me. His dad can sometimes be like that to with his wife.. another thing that upsets me is he has told his friends I smell and sometimes talks negative about our sex life.. couple nights ago we were out and his cousin was flirting with me and wanted to touch my. boobs jokingly. My bf said yeah she's wearing a pushup bra n they really hang down an inch , inch 1/2 in front of his friends. It makes me feel like shit when he says that stuff cuz I feel not attracted to me or just likes to embarrass me. I asked why he talks shit about me n he says he doesnt. N then I brought up what he said couple nights ago n he said he was just kidding n he's sorry. But he's the type. that. if I make him mad he will try n make me. mad or be a jerk. Why does he say that stuff. about me. to. his friends but yet tells me. he wants to be with me. forever?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just tell him you don't like it. Tell him he needs to stop talking negatively, even if its a joke, about you to his friends and family.

    I can see it as a joke tho... in his defense. You have to ask yourself this: do your boobs really hang lower than an inch? If they obviously don't then he must have obviously been joking. Sure, it's a crude kind of joke but that's just his personality. I don't really take things like that seriously though, I always take them as jokes because I know that some people joke around like that, even me.

    He could be a really open and up-front kind of guy. I know sometimes I talk like that but it doesn't really mean anything

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    • Sometimes ita just embarrassing cuz his friends might think it's true. And when we go out sometimes he will ask why I'm so dressed up when I'm not really. He's said before he wants me to be all his n he gets jealous when guys flirt with me

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    • I told him that it makes me feel like shit. He was drunk when he said that but still he shouldn't have. I don't dress up much where I get all girly n wear a dress. I wear my hair down, put makeup on and last time he said that to me was on Saturday n I wore jeans, flip flops and a shirt that was a little low cut and the sleeves went to my elbows. Nothing to overboard. He has told me before that he doesn't like when I dress up because then I get hit on.

    • Well obviously he's a jealous guy. It doesn't sound like he's too jealous tho, there are some really awful guys out there that are way worse and I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

What Guys Said 1

  • Leave him he obviously has no respect for you if he's willing to say that about you in front of others and his cousin is pretty vulgar too for even joking around about touching you with your douchebag there

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What Girls Said 6

  • Doesn't seem like a guy you should be investing your time into any much longer :/ if he honestly loved you as well as respected you he would never have done any of those things to you or made you feel like you aren't worth much... I know what its like to fight yourself for the man that you love and care for as well as THINK you want to be with it sucks but only YOU can decide what you deserve and how you deserve to be treated. If he's starting to fall below the standards that you had before you got emotionally involved with him then is this really a guy you need to be still involved with? You gotta figure that out yourself

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  • So what I'm getting is that he's not expressing himself in a way that's productive or protects his relationship with you. He does not have to control you, and guys do this are mainly insecure. Have a heart to heart with him, tell him these things have to change or you have to walk away.

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    • I think he is insecure. But he does seem to get jealous easy when we are out because guys do hit on me. But I don't know why he deals with it this way because it makes me feel like shit then

    • I believe that he needs to be shown by example the proper way to share his needs and such with you. He is doing it in a cutting you down way which is not good at all!!

  • what an asshole!! he has no respect for you.. just dump that shit

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  • Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy. If you aren't being treated with love and respect check your price tag. Maybe you've marked yourself down. It's YOU who tells people what your worth is. Get off the clearance rack and get behind the glass where they keep the valuables!!!

    When a man loves a woman he wants everyone to approve of her and respect her... especially his friends! This guy does NOT love you. There is another reason why he wants you around, maybe you help with the bills, etc. You have to be the one to sit back and take a good look at what you are living and how it makes you feel. Don't ever settle for something that does not make you feel like a Princess... we are all daughters of the one true King!!! and you deserve to be treated respectfully ALWAYS behind closed doors and in public.

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  • The way he is treating you is not ok. He is showing blatant disrespect and the things he says in front of his friends, would be hurtful if said in private as well. It's like he's not saying things to be helpful, he's saying things to be hurtful. This is his problem and you only make it your problem by being with him. This will wear on you and eventually you'll have had enough and walk away. Either stick up for yourself or walk away. Even if you do tell him to quit, he may not.

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  • You know yourself that you don't even need to be asking this, I can tell with what you right.
    You shouldn't be with that guy.
    Please please please, leave, before he wrecks your confidence totally and then you'll find it 20 times harder to leave.
    I wish I knew you, I would slap your boyfriend.

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    • My confidence has already gone down but that's because I've been insecure most my life. It's just hard to leave him cuz he can be a sweetheart and that's why im still with him

    • You know those guys who beat the shit out of their women? Go ask the women, all of them will say "Ohh when he's nice, he's just SO nice and the best boyfriend ever, but when he's bad he's really bad" or something along those lines. Abuse, whether it is physical or mental, doesn't have to be 24/7 to fuck with your mind and shoot your confidence to bits.
      Are the fucked up things he does, really worth the odd good time with him? When you can find a man who's good always.
      You're young, don't spend your best years with a man who'll wreck what is supposed to be the best years of our lives, and ruin your confidence at the ages where you look better than most.
      Even a really ugly girl will be made to feel beautiful by a man who loves her.
      It's always hard to leave, especially after living together, but that struggle ends fast, staying together will be much harder in the long run.

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