I think I'm becoming the attached one... how do I recover/continue to win her over?

Been dating this girl for a month and a half, had date #3 last Friday (I've been away for a lot of this time). I thought it went well as we'd spent 5 hours drinking, dancing, and making out, she even waited an extra half hour cuddling with me while I waited for my train despite shutting down my offer to come back with me.

Since then I've had 2 major problems hit.

For one I realized I actually really like this girl and don't want to mess this up, which has stressed me out a lot with this girl

For two my schedule cleared up and work is now extremely slow. I have very little to do, resulting in me twiddling my thumbs thinking about this for 4-5 hours a day.

Since then I've been only getting maybe 2-3 messages a day from her, generally all in the morning. We had been at roughly 5-10x that, all throughout the day prior to Friday, though she does give long and detailed messages answering everything I've sent over the previous day. I know she's busy, she worked 13 hours yesterday and she's already told me she's freaking out about her thesis. This entire week is devoted to catching up she's told me... yet it still worries me that I don't hear from her nearly as much.

Am I just overreacting to what's likely still a good thing going for me?

Or should I start taking steps to make sure I don't drive her off?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's hard when you're falling for someone to rationalize the situation. Everything becomes a worry. She has told you about what's going on and she has been detailing her messages to you. There is nothing to worry about. She just has a lot on her plate right now and has already promised catch up time. So think of something romantic and creative for the catch up. It will really show her you have been thinking of her.


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What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds like she told you exactly what's going on in her life this week. Relax and stop over thinking it. You could also send her a short sweet text saying.. I miss hearing from you so much throuout the day but I know how busy and stressed you are this week.

  • Go do something else to take your mind off of her or just call her.


What Guys Said 1

  • This is normal. Try to mirror her communications and step off just a hair.

    Keep yourself busy so you dont spin out reading too deeply into things. Use your extra time doing something constructive so you have new things to talk to her about. Dont want to risk contacting her too much out of boredom and wind up bugging her or worse, coming off needy.