I have a full time job but it only pays minimum and had it for a year. I may get promoted to assistant manager wirhin the next 6 months.
I have also been saving up for an apartment. Got about 2000 saved so far. I would really like to date girls but I feel like they will just see my status and not even bother.
If you were me would you not date until you finally moved out?
Should I not even attempt dating since I'm 31 and still live with my parents?
I have a full time job but it only pays minimum and had it for a year. I may get promoted to assistant manager wirhin the next 6 months.
What Girls Said 44
Obviously someone who is independent and has their life together is attractive. At least you have a job, you have ambition, and goals for you life. I think it would be something completely different if you were just doing nothing at all AND living with your parents.
You know every woman is different so there will be women who are put-off by this or assume/stereotype you for this. Forget them.
I suggest you put yourself out there no matter what. Look for women with similar interests and perhaps someone who's family orientated. Maybe she'll be in the same boat or at the very least not mind getting to know your parents too.
I don't think you should cheat your self out of possible opportunities over something like your current living situation (that's not permanent anyway). I don't think you should change yourself for anyone or pretend like things aren't how they are. Lastly I don't think you should wait to bring it up like you're ashamed. Don't blurt it out like, "Hello, my name is ___ and I live with my parents" hahaha... but you know casually just mention it like it's nothing. Because it really isn't that big of a deal.
Life happens and that's what parents are for. To help you in life and be there for you when you need them. For all anyone knows something happened financially, emotionally, or physically and you need their help, something happened and they need your help, they have no idea. Anyone who assumes things or judges you isn't someone you want around anyway.2
- Show AllShow Less
You can't quit dating just because you live with your parents. I know what you mean, after a certain age society will see you as a failure because of that situation. But you know what? screw society and what they think is right and wrong. Never in my life I'd turn a guy down because of that. As long as I like him and he's willing to move in with me whenever the time comes, who cares? Now, if you wanted to live with your parents forever, that'd be something else. Just don't quit, please. I live with my parents as well btw, it's not ideal but I'll just have to go with it for a while longer. I'm sure many people your age still live with their parents, there's a whole bunch us, victims of the economical crisis out there :) Also, if a woman won't be with you because of that, she's definitely not worth it.3
Do you have a car? Why not attempt to date a woman who lives at home? Most people your age are still living with their parents. The economy is rough for many people at the moment.
As long as you have your own transportation it shouldn't be a big deal. Some women are weary of dating a guy with very little because they fear getting involved with a man child who only wants someone to take care of him.3
- Show AllShow Less
For a man to still be living at home there has to be a good reason for me to not find it unattractive... I can understand if culturally it is normal for children to wait until they are married... that's what my brother did even though he makes really good money... and I'm 30 and still live at home because it is unacceptable for a woman to live by herself in my parents culture... I also am more understanding and it is less of a turn off if a guy is going to college and wants to save money... for example my BF is in medical school and even though he wanted to move out I told him to stay so we can save money for when we get married... there is a goal in sight. I don't mean to be disrespectful or rude... but those are really the only two reasons it wouldn't be a turn off to me... either find a woman that doesn't care, or keep saving money to move out5
i dont see a problem with it unless you're so broke you can't even take me out. you living with parents under their roof is no different than them living with you under your roof. as long as you're close with them, its cool with me. its cute when you see a grown man hug his mother and give her a kiss.
i would rather you live with them than to struggle by yourself. im not a big fan of someone who lives paycheck by paycheck D:
I think you should still try to date, but just be upfront with your situation - especially if she wants to go to your place. Many women would understand your situation due to how bad our economy is and I'm sure many would still want to date you. Some probably wouldn't, but you can't please everyone. If a woman likes you, I'm sure she won't care that you still live with your parents. After all, you're saving your money and planning for your future - those are both great traits to have.5
Do not give up. Unfortunately, society is judgmental & likes to make fun of people for living with their parents after a certain age. I think living with your parents is smart if you are trying to save money & cut down on living cost. Unlike what is promoted, not all women are gold diggers & only care about money. I personally don't care if a guy is working at Mcdonalds or is a doctor. As long as I love that guy, I'm happy & lucky to be with him. In today's economy, it generally takes two incomes in order to make it. Most likely, both you & your future partner will have to work in order to afford a modest lifestyle. I would say when you first start dating, just don't mention your living situation, & let yourself build a connection with a woman first. If she really likes you, she won't care about where you are living. It can be a goal of the two of yours to get an apartment/buy a home.4
I would wait... not because of the opinions of your parents or prospective dates... but because dating is expensive and being so close to your goal, most people in your position would get distracted and splurge on a bunch of small things, that would add up and delay your moving date a bit.2
I think it will turn a lot of girls off, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't date! I think it depends. For example, I'm not really into the dating scene right now, because I'm trying to get my life together, and I don't want something that may prevent that (college, studying abroad, building as a person, etc.).
If you don't have a lot of maturing (which you probably don't), and you don't plan on doing anything that dating would get in the way of, I think you definitely should. Just realize that a lot of girls do care about financial security when seeking a partner, and at your age, a minimum wage job won't cut it for those girls. There are some girls who don't care about that at all though, and those are the girls you need to look for! :)
I think you should try to get your own apartment, as it will help make you more desirable, but it's not necessary. Just make sure you have good reasons in case on a date someone asks "why have you been ilving with your parents?"1
We ladies don't care especially in this economy. Be good to us and we're good to guys :-)6
Well the last guy I dated was 24 and his brother is 30 they both live with his mom the older brother actually has a really good job and could afford to his own place and he has 2 daughters. He usually just slept there at night though and he was really annoying. My ex also made pretty decent money but he just was not responsible he would rather live off of his mother that bothered me that he had an immature mentality all he did was spend he had an online shopping addiction that's the only reason why he worked he had no goals. At least you are trying and thinking about your future. IF you are worried that this will affect your chances then wait if it makes you feel better and confident about dating. but it should not bother a woman who is understanding2
stay home save your money, if she likes you for you and not where You are living. Maybe you will find someone that is on their own and you be able to visit them. With you being home it shows your well-rounded. I had an uncle on my mother's side and for which we are American not leave home until he was 50 years old and was married. His wife was almost the same age. Though that is rear this day and age it's okay.
I think you'll be fine maybe you'll meet someone at work or through your job. Good luck.1
I would say find some woman who accepts you as you are and understands your situation. You have goals, you're working, and you don't plan to stay with your parents forever, so quite frankly there's nothing to be afraid of.4
I mean, everyone is different. Personally I wouldn't date you because I'm really motivated and ambitious. I have two jobs, I go to school full time and I live on my own. If I dates someone that was not where I am in life at an older age, I wouldn't be able too. Of course I wouldn't expect a guy to be doing as much as I do, that's crazy, but to an extent at least. I'm sure there are some that would be fine with it, but it might be smarter to wait until you live on your own.2
- Show AllShow Less
Is optional, a girl will admire you more if you leave alone and independent from your parents. Either way you can still date and explain your situation to them, see what happen next. Some will understand and support you, others don't. Is up to you. Good luck.4
I used to think like that since I lived at home after college. But I don't think you should put your social life on hold just because of your living situation. You are working and there are many factors that go into the dating scene besides living situation. I wouldn't consider it a deal-breaker.3
it depends. if you feel like you have a connection with someone they will understand.2
I don't think there's anything wrong with living at home, it's a good way to save money till you find a place. You have a job, you have a car, only a shallow person would not date you because you live at home2
I think you should worry about yourself and sorting everything out before you have yourself worrying about a relationship that's what I'd do:) good luck2
Where I'm from it's not frowned upon if a guy is in his 30s, and still live with his parents. In fact, parents like to hold on to their children here until they're getting married. As long as you have plans for the future and you're acting on them, then the right woman won't mind that you still live with your parents.1
The fact that you want to better yourself, if you take the promotion, makes you worth it.3
its up to you i guess.. if you want to date someone go ahead.. but if you dont then dont date someone.. easy as that :)1
- More from Girls 14
What Guys Said 35
This is one area where girls are the most hypocritical unfortunately. But the ones who are... aren't worth your time. It's a struggle. I live in an apt and some girls instantly became attracted and it turned me off because they have very little concept of reality. I dumped my last girlfriend because I was living on my own with my own car and paying my own rent yet she was living with her parents with no car at 22 years old. She actually thought she could mooch off of me.
The thing is for most people it's a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situation. If you live on your own, suddenly responsibility becomes huge and many people have no concept of it. I've been on my own for a while now and people like me realize that you can't go out all the time having fun compared to living at home. They think suddenly "no curfews I can do what I want" and forget the finances.
It's a struggle regardless of whether or not you live at home or on your own. If you're at home, girls who also live with their parents still label you as a "bum" and all that stuff. If you live on your own, you're managing finances constantly and making sure you're living within your means and are being careful not to overspend and such. Sometimes this can mean working two jobs to pay things off. Unfortunately, your time can also get limited really badly working over 40 hours a week leaving no time to date. Then you gotta put up with girls being clingy being annoyed that you don;t spend enough time with them or the fact that dining at an expensive restaurant isctually a luxury most girls take for granted and they whine that you won't go out with them somewhere when you're making sure there's enough to pay the rent.
Ironically many girls also just seek out guys to get outta their own homes and just move in with a guy who has one. I have a coworker doing this. It's like prostitution I swear. This guy's girlfriend doesn't even help with basic things like laundry and just stays at his place.1
I don't see why it should be a problem. I'm 28, and still live with my mom and younger brother (dad is no more). Its not that I can't afford an apartment for myself, because I have a decent job. Its just that i share a strong emotional bond with my mom and brother, so I couldn't imagine life staying away from them. I wouldn't want to move away from people I have lived with all my life, just because some woman I hardly know wouldn't want to date me for this. If you're concerned about being intimate, then there's a place called the bedroom where people can get intimate, and no one else (including parents) barge in to embarrass you or spoil the fun.3
Dating requires both money and effort, two things that are put to far better use right now getting out of your situation. By living on your own you gain access to the 99.9 percent of women who really wouldn't date someone still living with mommy and daddy after 30 ... no matter what they answer on GAG or elsewhere.
Devote yourself to living the life you want to live by yourself -- show that you are strong and independent and are able to set goals and actually achieve them -- and then worry about living the life you want to live with somebody else.
Or listen to the nonsense in the female opinions here and waste your time and money not getting anywhere in any sphere of your life.2
don't worry about your living situation, find a girl that loves you for you.
hopefully you do drive that is a plus.. you have a job... that is a plus.. I say just be you. . make them laugh.. make them feel good. let them know you have goals.. and you aren't going to being living with your parents forever and it shouldn't be a problem.
you don't sound like you are the type of guy to play games or go for one night stands and that too is a plus..
just be you bro.. if you want to date.. DO IT!
best of luck to you!2
I think you should date. One thing to remember is that often it is your own securities, rather than the girl responding negatively to it, that prevents you from getting a date. So for example, that might manifest itself in closing up if a girl approaches you. If you get talking to lots of people, you often find they can relate. I've spoken to lots of people who have been out of work for ages, found it hellish finding a job. Some woman recently told me she had 20 odd interviews before getting a job. So you're actually doing pretty well.1
From an traditional Asian family's perspective, moving out before you are married is not advisable. The parents would rather you live with them until you find a nice girl that will help you pay for a place. Hell, some Asian parents will even refuse your help to alleviate some of their finances and would much sooner take up another job then take their children's money. I've considered moving out before with the idea that it will grant me more freedom and independence but my parents gave me an ultimatum. Once I move out, moving back in due to financial issues is NOT an option. They believe that once you've decided that you are ready to "be on your own" so to speak, that you must commit yourself 100 percent. I've seen family and friends whom decide to move out when they're young only to move back in with their parents with a dried up bank account and debt, all in the name of being considered "independent". While I understand that it is different from American culture and may be viewed as weird, it's something that I really appreciate.1
No reason not to date (I started dating seriously in college and I slept at my parents' home too, married 2 years after my university degree)
But $2k for an apt won't get you very much: check real estate sites to get an idea of prices in your city.
Courage, keep dating !1
I moved back in with my mother about three years ago while finishing college in my late twenties/early thirties. When I graduated I was working full time at a big department store, making a bit more than minium wage but not much to write home about.
I started doing online dating, since my social life took a nosedive after leaving school. The day after I turned 33, I met my girlfriend, and now I'm saving for an engagement ring and planning on moving up to where she lives.
She doesn't care that I live with my mom, because she's still living with her parents (the oldest of a bunch of siblings). We are both religious, and one of the reasons she chose to date me because I was open to the more traditional side of our religion. There's lots more to it than that, of course, but the point is that there are women out there who will look past your current situation and date you for who you are inside.
This economy is tough. If a guy is hard-working and looking forward (like you are with the management position), and a woman turns you down for temporarily living at home, then it says more about her priorities (money) than it does about you as a person.2
Of course generally you'd want to have your own place if you're dating but I think these days anyone would understand your situation. Chances are there are quite a few single women your age who wouldn't mind your situation and would of course let you move in at some point once things get serious. I'd remain confidant with my living situation and ignore the stigma while taking pride in the fact that I had a stable form of income.2
I can understand your situation. But if a female doesn't want you because you live with your parents, then she's not a keeper.
I don't think you should wait.
About 14 years ago I lived with my parents. And I met a girl on a dating site. She didn't like me just because I lived with my parents. I was then 23 years old. She said that it's strange when a guy older than 18 live with their parents. I just gave her the finger. Six months later I moved to my own apartment. She was not a keeper anyway.
I know that a lot o females doesn't care about your situation. If I find a girl at your age who lives with her parents, I wouldn't care.
A girl is supposed dating you, not your apartment.2
I'm taken and my gf is about to move in. I had my mom 'n her bf move in with me because I was sick of piece of shit people not paying rent or stealing from me.
People have their own opinions and a majority of girls will freak out if you live at home with your parents. But then again, that girl is not compatible with you in the first place.1
I've been fairly wealthy my whole life and while it makes getting girls much easier, it's also harder to know what it is they like about you. I actually think you're very lucky. Any girl who knows all this and stays with you happily is who you really want in your life. Don't waste this time by not dating. Instead, make the most of it and tell every girl you see about your difficulties.4
Get your sh*t together 1st. You will have more quality options than if you try to go about it now.3
I say yes, u can date, but be up front about ur situation so u dont waste ur time with some girl that doesn't accept ur situation.1
Have a plan, have a goal, start getting there. I think the fact that you're trying to get somewhere different, that you're trying to work your life out, that is attractive in itself.1
I use to think like that, but realized that my happiness is more important and those "things" can provide me the happiness that a loving woman can provide me with.1
Any time can be a good time.2
I know i'm a bit young and inexperienced but personally I would get my life together first before deciding to date anyone.1
Some women may not care that you still live with your parents. For others it will be a turn off. Ask some women, see what happens.1
Go ahead and date.
If it looks like you're going to get lucky, rent a hotel room.1
You can say I am moving out soon and it's temporary situation1
Here we go with the shit that just depresses me...2
oh man date some1 who will care about you...1
- More from Guys 5
Select as Most Helpful Opinion?
You cannot undo this action. The opinion owner is going to be notified and earn 7 XPER points.