Would you date someone who struggled to open up?

I struggle in opening up to women. I'm quiet, keep things bottled up, and I'm used to myself and I as company.
I honestly don't know how, or what, I would do in a relationship.

Men, would you date a woman who was like that?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Of course. Insecurity is no reason to be denied love

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    • My last two girlfriends broke up with me because I couldn't seem to open up.
      You may be an exception to the rule...

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    • Men approach me, and I turn them all down because I don't date men. And you need to get rid of that mindset. It's not doing you any favors.

    • I'll admit that it isn't doing me any favors. Mindset or not, it is a fact of life. Men initiate, women determine compatibility and suitability, men protect and provide, women nurture and love. Now, there are deviations in some of that; men and women can share equal responsibilities in relationships; but overall men are ultimately responsible for providing a reason they are worth dating.
      Insecurity is a terrible trait to bear; there are plenty of other men without that trait.

What Girls Said 7

  • Because that's a certain personality characteristic, it's not going to be universally liked or disliked. Your best bet would probably be to find someone who's like that as well.
    However, the ability to open yourself up would probably be good to work on, as vulnerability is essential in the successful development of relationships.
    Good luck!

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    • Honestly, I don't like being vulnerable. I'm not sure I could muster becoming vulnerable; it seems to me to be a weak attribute.

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    • Haha oops! My sorry laceandstuff, hopefully what I said helped anyway!
      And well yeah if we're talking about the fabric of your being then of course limit that to close friends, and it's good to be hesitant. I def wasn't saying that you should spill all that out in like the first month of dating. However if things are steady and comfortable with someone and she makes herself a little vulnerable to you, it might deepen the relationship if you were to reciprocate. If you're uncomfortable, just let the other person take the lead and limit yourself matching whatever they give you.

    • Oops again, I wrote "my bad" and changed it to sorry, but forgot to delete the "my" :p

  • I honestly couldn't do it. I'm such an expressive and outgoing person that not being able to show me your emotions or keeping things inside would drive me nearly insane. I'd be insecure about what you're thinking and why or if I did something to piss you off because you're being quiet so you must be mad. Just UGH.

    My head's already a train wreck, the last thing I need is a quiet person, lol.

    Find someone who likes or can cope with someone who's quiet or soft-spoken. Don't try to change for someone like.. well.. me. xD

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    • I appreciate the honest comment.

  • Hey hey I'm the same way

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    • How do you fare in relationships?

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    • I guess it's just difficult you know

    • If you can't tell the truth, don't say anything

  • i might - won't explain why cause it's personal (ironic yes:$)

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    • actually changed my mind - I might date someone who has a hard time opening up because i do as well and i know how much i love the feeling of being able to talk to someone without having to keep my guard up and so I would love being that person to someone else -- being able to trust someone and feel safe around them is the most wonderful feeling in the world and it's something i want to the guy I'm with to be able to feel

    • / :)

  • I'm exactly the same as you. I just told this guy I can't date him and it's because I struggle opening up, I bottle everything and I'm used to my own company.

    Maybe we just have to try opening up to people little bits at a time. That's what I'm going to do. :)

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    • Best of luck with that tactic! If you try enough, it should work. I think I'll just settle for keeping myself closed off. Breaking up with two girls because of my internalizing things has really dampened my confidence in trying anymore...

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    • True! :) This is a little different though. We're online, and I'm speaking anonymously.
      I guess I'll keep looking for the right person. I wish I wasn't such an introverted loner that I rarely meet women. I spend a majority of my time in my apartment.
      I'm not sure about you, but I sometimes hate being an introvert and a hermit of a person...

    • Every day I wish I wasn't so shy and introverted.. It ruins so many good opportunities.

  • It's not my favourite personality but if I love you then I'm willing to be more patient with you

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    • I appreciate that. I must be dating the wrong girls, because my last two girlfriends didn't even tell me that they had a problem with me not opening up. They just told me that there wasn't a connection, and that we should go our separate ways.

    • Yeah. I'm sorry :(

  • honest guys are e best XDDD

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    • Much appreciated! Unfortunately this is online, and women I'd date would not see this post. They'd dump me, like the last two did.

    • I'm really sorry to hear that :( how you find the one soon though!!

    • Thanks!

What Guys Said 1

  • I was just trying to date a woman like that. She won't open up to me, though..

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    • How did you react to it?

    • Initially, with persistence. Knowing that if I were given even a single chance I could prove myself. But she didn't want to give me that.

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