Girls always look at my profile, but they don't respond?

I've been on pof for about 4 months now and girls rarely ever respond to my messages. I'd say that at least 80 percent of them are actually read. If they do respond, i'll respond back and normally we don't exchange more than 3 or 4 messages, before she quits responding. I've gotten maybe three or four numbers but no dates out of it. One girl I called and she never even picked up the phone or returned my voicemail I left. It's really disheartening cause i've messaged like 300 girls since i've been on and i've changed my profile a few times also. I just don't get it. I've even approach around a 100 girls in real life and have never even got a phone number. Any ideas? I'm 25 and have never even been on a date before. I wish a girl would just give me a chance. She would probably like me after a little while.


Most Helpful Girl

  • My friend was on eharm and what made her the most nervous was not really knowing if the person's profile was actually who she was convoing. You never really know who you're chatting with. Guys who were very forward she'd shy away from. She rarely gave out her number b/c it's easier to ignore messages than calls. Plus she lives alone and she was afraid she'd run into a stalker type who was able to google her address, etc. She did meet a few of the guys, tho. She found that many weren't really interested in a relationship but were using the site more for hook-ups. That was a turn off for her. She appreciated the guys who asked thoughtful questions and took the time to message back and forth more than those who requested dates/phone calls first. I don't know if that helps?

    • I guess it depends on the girl depending on when i'll ask for a number, but normally i'll wait a week or two before asking for it. I can send out maybe 15 or 20 messages and i'll get a couple replies normally, but we rarely ever exchange more than 3 or 4 messages back and forth. Some girls have seemed really interested and i'll spend half the day exchanging 20 messages. For some reason though whenever it comes time to actually try and setup a date then they end up flaking. Most of these girls just seem to want an ego boost and have no intention of ever meeting up. at least I haven't been stood up at the actual date location yet.


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What Girls Said 3

  • You've messaged around 300 girls and you're still wondering why they don't respond? Probably sending every one of them the same message, huh?

    • 300 in a 4 month period isn't that many, Actually I got tired of writing personalized messages and actually got more responses with just saying hi as a message. lol but I still have had the same problem, nobody would ever want to go on a date.

  • How about you put more effort in real life. am sure it will work out well for you

    • oh approaching over 100 girls in real life isn't what you call effort?

  • That's how it is on dating sites sometimes, especially for guys.
    Girls get too many messages on there, that's why.
    What kind of messages do you usually send to get the convo started?
    You should show us what photos you used to, especially your main profile photo, you might not want to do that though?

    • I just find something in their profile to comment on to start a convo. Or i'll find something in their prfile that can relate to me also and start a convo based on that.

    • Do you compliment them in the first message? Sometimes it seems fake on dating sites when you open the millionth message that day from yet another guy with the exact same compliment as the previous guys. So you've even got to be careful with the compliments!
      Online dating, you'll get rejected more often, but that's just because you're trying way more girls in a day that you usually would be able to.
      What kind of stuff did you put on your profile?

What Guys Said 2

  • Hate to be that guy, but it's probably you.
    Might be your outlook, the way you talk, what you bring to the table (or lack of bringing).
    Something that really has more to do with deeply complex psychology than something simple and easy to pinpoint.
    It's probably not cause you're ugly. Lots of ugly guys get dates.
    Start reading some advice and dating columns. Go beyond dating and check out some life and wisdom columns too. What kind of mindset you should be cultivating. What kind of outlook you need. Become an interesting guy who lives life the way he wants, with a life outside of girls you want to date.
    It's a complex thing.

  • It might be the way you're approaching. What kinds of things are you saying in those 3-4 messages or when you approach girl.