Why doesn't he change so things get better?

My bf and I have been dating for almost a year and we live together. I have trust issues due to my past relationships. My bf gets mad because I don't trust him completly. But I don't because sometimes he can be a jerk to me and sometimes acts like he doesn't want to be with me when we are out. We have had plenty of talks about how he needs to change n treat me better that way I will start trusting him if he does. Well he always says he is going to but he doesnt. He tells me I need to change to (as in trusting him and not fighting all the time). We fight because of the way he treats me sometimes. But his dad is the same way n his mom tells me that sometimes he can be a jerk but he is also a softy. Which is why I am still with him because he can be sweet. He has told me he wants to marry me and be with me forever.. why is it so hard for him to change then? He says he will but he doesn't and I don't know what to do anymore because I love him a lot and don't want to break up. I've asked if he wanted me to move out or take a break and he says no.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If either of you need to change, then you shouldn't be with each other. Sometimes it seems easier to stay in a relationship that you're used to and put up with bullshit, than to move on to something better. It's a tough move to make, I know. Unfortunately, I think he's already proven that he has no intention to change and you'll continue to be unhappy until you move on to someone you fully trust and gives you no reason not to.

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What Guys Said 2

  • People don't always change and life's too short to burden yourself with such poor excuses for intelligent animals. Just cut it short and you'll thank yourself.

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  • The issue sounds like it's more from your end. If he's never straid, never gave any sign of being unfaithful, never lies about his whereabouts. Then the trust issues lye with you. And you need to change.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You need to tell him either he needs to get his act together and if he doesn't your going to leave. He doesn't seem worth it and you shouldn't put yourself through that pain. If he still doesn't then you need to leave him it will teach him a lesson and maybe he will get his act together to win you back.

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    • I've told him that before and I haven't done it so I think that's why he isn't taking it seriosuly. I told him next time I mean it we are either taking a break or breaking up. Which I am gonna try my hardest to do so.

    • Good luck I know it must be hard to that to someone you really love but if you want his respect your going to have to do it.

  • If there is no risk of you leaving - he has no incentive to change so he is going to act how he wants and you are either going to accept him that way or move out. He is happy with what he is doing and doesn't want to change. Accept it or leave.

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