2nd date and no progress- move on to the next person?

I'm a guy in his mid 20s who's just been on two dates with a girl of the same age group (so not quite undergrads any more like most of the people on here). We met via Tinder (it's actually much less of a hookup app than I had imagined, you actually meet normal people there like you would anywhere).

Anyway after the 2nd date it seems that things are really going nowhere.

For context I thought I'd mention that though no longer a virgin, I am still relatively inexperienced in the realm of dating.

We have not held hands or kissed, the greeting at the start/end of the date has been exactly the same every time: a light hug and an air cheek kiss.
On the date everything seems to be going well and the conversation is flowing but it just seems more friendly than romantic (and absolutely not going in the direction that you'd think if you met someone off Tinder).
She doesn't really seem enthusiastic about texting (while as other girls I've dated have been generally been much more responsive). At the end of our last date, I was kind of going for a mouth kiss but she seemed to turn away so it ended up as another cheek one.

Though she's really nice and the dates go well and she says she enjoys them (well the 2 so far), I'm not that into her to wait it out in the hopes that at some point down the line things will turn for the friskier/more romantic side.

As now its come to the time of the third date, I think this is a bit of a milestone/thinking point where one would have to decide whether they keep dating someone or move on to the next person because at the moment it seems like things are not going anywhere. Or I'm just terrible at reading girls and she's hoping that I'd make more of a move, I really can't tell.

So what would you do? 2 dates and nothing yet. Those stories of 3rd date sex are just fairy tales to my ears.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She goes at a slower pace. Is she inexperienced as well? And it sounds like she isn't into texting, which I totally get. It probably doesn't have anything to do with you, it's just that some people aren't good at communicating that way, or don't like it. It's up to you, but if you generally like her otherwise, I'd go on a third date and see if things change. Do something fun and interactive, try to kiss her this time, and if it's not happening or the chemistry isn't there, then I'd move on.

    During the date, I would try being in her space more and getting her comfortable around you. Seems like she needs you to initiate the physical stuff and take more control. Take her hand, or put her arm in yours when walking. Pull her closer/sit closer. Hand on her back to steer her somewhere, etc. Break the touch barrier and build up to kissing her. As the date's winding down, be somewhere relatively private, and go in for a kiss/potential make out session. Don't hesitate to keep kissing her - as long as she's participating and not pulling away you're fine.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Sounds like you are more interested in getting physical than getting to know her, I think she did the right thing to keep a distance. What did you expect? See each other naked by the third date? Doesn't sound like she is looking for what you are looking for, or at least you are not on the same page. Maybe you should go out with girls that are willing to sleep with you right the way and not let her waste another evening with you.

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  • If you're really not feeling it, i don't think the romantic chemistry can be forced. You could give her another shot though bc sometimes friendly chemistry blossoms into the romantic sphere.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Well first of all, every girl is different. Doesn't matter how or where you meet them. I obviously don't know the details of your dates, but I can suggest that you should make the 3rd date more interesting instead of breaking things off just yet. She could be more hesitant and shy than what you're expecting to have. I suggest you take control and make things get more physical, try to hold hands more, get closer to her and go for the kiss and hopefully it turns into a makeout and leads to more sexual things that you're trying for.

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  • Well, it seems you've got some difficulty retaining interest. How about being like a behaviourist where you just read their cues and just talk about things that gets them really into it? I find the whole flirting thing to be too primitive for my fancy.

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  • If you want a date to progress, try getting to know them more. Dating is just meant to get to know someone PERSONALLY between you and them. not an actual relationship.

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