How to move on from an abusive relationship?

So I broke up with my ex-girlfriend of two years, about 3 months ago. She was very abusive physically, mentally, and emotionally.. I was normally a happy person, but she was so mean. If I didn't think like her, then I was wrong and I was a horrible person. If I didn't do certain things, then I was wrong and a horrible person.

When I think of being with someone in the future, I get scared and think it's going to be the same as last time. Or that the "rules" I had to follow will rub off into that new relationship.. I'm afraid I will ruin my future relationships.. I just want to be happy with someone, but I'm so afraid of many things... Could someone give me advice about this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't worry hun, you'll find that girl out there, and for her to do those horrible things to you was not humane. I get where your coming from with the abusiveness, I was a victim as well because with me being so sort my ex-boyfriend would usually talk down to me or use 'punishments'. But that's besides the point when you feel comfortable with someone who'd laugh easily with you and treats you lovingly then you know it's going to be ok. Don't sweat it in the future someone who loves you will never do anything like that she won't even make 'rules' for you what you need is a sweet loving big hearted person who'd not going to treat you like her punching bag. It will get better (:


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What Girls Said 2

  • I've been in a physically & emotionally abusive relationship before i kinda know what you're talking about, you've just got to forget about it , i know its hard but yeah. Just dont think about the relationship you just had. Just be your normal self and you'll be fine :D

    • I don't know what normal is though.. I've been isolated from everyone I knew for two years. I've only been allowed to think what she thought.

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    • I thought about that, but I'm not rushing into anything soon.. Before I left my ex, I became very distant with her because she would talk about nothing except how horrible I was and how our relationship was. I loved her for all two years, but I don't want to fall into something like that again :/

    • yeah i think it is good to be distant from her , wouldn't help if you still are near her , just work on being with other people and you'll be fineee :)

  • Don't worry you will find a girl who is nice and will value you.
    For now just read self help books and learn from your past and put your best foot forward :) you'll be okay I promise !


What Guys Said 1

  • Let me tell you this. When you find someone you love and would do anything for without her hurting you, and when you feel like you have your own free will, that's a normal relationship.