I was unsure, I misled him, now I feel awful, how to handle that?

I hate myself so much now. Here's the story. This guy, let's call him Tom, came up to me at a bar, he bought me a drink, offered a cigarette, I accepted. We talked a lot and found out we had some common interests. Some time later he invited me to a concert, I went with him. That night we got terribly drunk, he took me around a few nice pubs, I ended up feeling sick but he took care of me. We made out a lot. Later he texted me with stuff like 'I want to kiss you so much'. I kinda reciprocated but started to have some doubts, some gut feeling he's not for me. We met again yesterday, he had invited me to the cinema. He kissed me, I answered with just a short peck. He held my hand briefly, I didn't want to cut it abruptly but finally I said I had to go, a peck again (yeah, he wanted to kiss me on the lips, but I aimed for the cheek a little more) and I came back home. The bad thing is that during our first date, when some strangers we were talking to asked 'are you a couple?', he said 'why not?' and I said 'why not', too, thinking that was just for fun, now I'm afraid he might really be thinking of me as his girlfriend. He is a very interesting person and I don't want him to disappear from my life completely but I think, despite some shared interests, we're, either way, too different to work out as a couple. What's more, there's one guy occupying my thoughts that I would like to get closer to. I could experience interesting stuff with Tom (taking into consideration his contacts, his lifestyle, etc.) but I'm afraid I don't love him and I don't want to fake it just to benefit from the relationship. I'm such a rookie at relationships it hurts. I wish I could simply sort stuff out and stay friends with Tom. I don't know how to act now. I'll appreciate any advice.


0|0
2|1

Most Helpful Girl

  • Two dates and you're worried you don't love him? I thought that was considered normal, I'd be concerned if you did. You need to talk to him and set him straight. You may feel uncomfortable, but you don't want him going around thinking you're together when you're not. I don't even know why he would assume after one date you guys were a relationship, but whatever. Also, give him a chance. Talk to him and if he still wants to continue to see you, get to know him more, you can't expect to know everything about a person in two dates (especially when the first one you're drunk. Don't know how you expect to.), you may find out you guys have more in common than you think.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 1

  • Just tell him the truth... that you just aren't feeling any chemistry and would like to just be friends.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • You've been on a few dates. "Love" isn't even possible yet. All that matters is whether you have chemistry and want to see more of him. If the answer is no, then you need to tell him. Don't give him false hope.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...