"Do you want to go out for a drink?" - What if I don't drink?

Well, I'm 22, going on 23, and getting into the dating world. I am very nervous though, especially never having been on an official "date" before in my life - I have no idea what to do or expect!
My biggest fear about dating, however, is the big "Could I buy you a drink?" and "Could I take you out for a drink?" questions. I know that is the "default" date for a lot of people, but my issue is - I don't drink, never have in my life, and never plan to. Severe drug/alcohol abuse runs in my family, so I've always been very weary of it, not to mention the one sip I did have of a relative's drink years back tasted awful. However, before I go on, I have to mention that I am perfectly fine having a partner or date that drinks, that doesn't bother me at all!
I guess my problem is - What do I do if asked this question?
If a person wants to take me out, especially if I'm interested, I don't want to say "no" just because he wants to take me out to get alcohol! But I also don't want to get there and have him to ask me what I'd like to drink, only to have me tell him that "I don't drink", or order a coca cola or virgin pina colada... I am extremely embarrassed about my soberness, and afraid that it will be a deal-breaker for a lot of men, or put my date off-guard. I want to approach it nonchalantly, but the strangeness of sobriety, especially having been teased about it my entire life, makes me very self-conscious. I am not at all against alcohol - like I said, I don't care if he drinks! I am just very uncomfortable with drinking myself. Will the date think that I am an ex-alcoholic, or think I'm boring? Does he 100% expect me to order alcohol and get "tipsy" or drunk? I am horrified about dating for this sole reason... What could I do to make it less awkward? :( Or am I just over-thinking things?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your post is so close to my experience and feelings I feel like I could have written it. Can't stand booze. I don't understand the appeal.

    Because I'm not one of the hypothetical dates you're talking about, I don't think my opinion matters much, but I did want to throw the idea out there that males who aren't into drinking do exist. Even if we are a tiny minority.
    Personally, in your situation, I'd go, but I'd just tell my hypothetical girlfriend I would only be having soft drinks. I think you may be putting too much weight on how your partner will read into it. I'm sure most people are bright enough to understand that some people choose not to drink for totally regular reasons.

    I sort of wish I had more to add. But I don't.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I started answering and then realized I needed to draw a distinction between someone who suggests meeting for a drink - most likely pre dinner post work - vs someone who suggests meeting for 'drinks'.

    The former is not much different from meeting for coffee. You're not supposed to get drunk so go ahead and order something non alcoholic. Maybe they care but assume they won't.

    On the the other hand if they suggest going out for 'drinks' I would tell them beforehand you're a non drinker.

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  • You say the truth "I don't drink, so if we go to a restaurant or bar, I'll just order something non-alcoholic" when you are asked out

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  • you dont have to have something alcoholic, but it does make the guy more relaxed if he knows your more relaxed by drinking. but if thats not your thing you can just buy a coke or something, he won't judge!

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  • you're over thinking things... quite a bit

    "Hey I'll just grab a soda water but that sounds great"

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  • i don't drink either but wouldn't be afraid to tell a girl that I don't it's nothing to be ashamed of

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well everywhere that serves alcohol also serves non-alcoholic drinks. Just because you're 'going out for drinks' doesn't mean you need to drink alcohol. You're over thinking this way too much.

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  • Relax girl haha. Just let him know you don't drink, but you'd be happy to join him with a non-alcoholic drink. :) Most guys won't care, they just want to take you out. And you're not boring for not drinking. Don't worry so much.

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