Long story short: Girl A, who appears to be expressing great interest in me, however I'm not so sure I want to date her, I am/was actually very interested in one of her friends (Girl B). Girl B and I went out to dinner a couple times, were once very communicative on the phone and text, hung out amongst friends a few times, etc... This went on for about 1.5months. I've told her about how I feel and that I'm interested/attracted to her, but she seemed kinda unreceptive to it, though she did continue to communicate and express interest afterwards. Part of the situation was kinda "awkward" because Girl A and Girl B are pretty good friends, and I did not want Girl B to think that communicating to Girl A was me pursuing her in a more-than-friends way; hard to explain. Then for some reason Girl B started to make plans with me then blow me off or cancel plans about an hour before. This happened a handful of times, I'm pretty hurt/annoyed/p*ssed off by this because she'd contact me to make plans to hang out, then cancel for stupid reasons. She's confusing the hell outta me now, most likely because she is confused about something that maybe has nothing to do with me. She'd tell me that I'm a "nice sweet guy", but I'm kinda getting treated like I'm an asshole. I thought of Girl B to be a really genuine person, very pretty, very easy to talk to; But I don't want to be humored and I don't want to be fished along or taken for a ride of BS; F**k that.
So this got me thinking. Should I perhaps pursue Girl A now? I don't particularly want to date her, although I think she would want to date me, but I think I can probably have sex with her if I play my cards right. Now hear me out a bit before the angry mob lights their torches. I don't mean to sound like a pig or anything as that/this is not my nature. BUT part of this contemplation is that; perhaps I should start approaching women differently than I have before. Hard to explain, I'd act with considerate intention but I just get dissed in the end. I get that "nice guy" crap too much and I'm kinda gettin sick of it. I've been in great relationships then ended horribly. Never had a one night stand before. This is not about attachment and it's not about a need for relationship. I guess I'm contemplating being a bit more selfish in that sense, caring less, and having more of a "f*** it" attitude. Doing some wrong because what I feel is right isn't getting me anywhere with anyone, so to speak. Perhaps think with my dick a bit more rather than my heart or my brain? Girl A is cool, not really what I look for in someone I'd date, she's pretty, but perhaps I can get happy getting her in the sack a few times by playing the game? My friends tell me I gotta get laid, though I've never been about one night stands or tolerating less than what I want for sex. I hope some of this makes sense. Reading my past 2 Questions might shed a bit of pre-info. on the two women I'm talking about and myself. Any advice would be appreciated.
Most Helpful Girl
I think I can understand what you mean...In fact I can relate to much you have said...
but I always think it is not the best or easiest to be someone you are not...or act in a mannor that is not usually who you are.
I would say forget about girl b or tell her honestly how you feel and unless things change that is it..no more getting messed about. That way you probably should be more selfish..it's not always a bad thing
now girls a...well you said you don't want to really be dating her...then I would say dont...but if you think you are ok with playing the game to get laid...try it out and see if it suites you
but be prepared to feel aweful if you hurt the girls feelings or find out it is not you and you end up regretting it
apart from that I would think it is a shame that you feel the need to act with a f**k it attitude...I can only speak for myself but I have always prefered the nice guys...been with one for the last 7 years and wouldn't change it for the world..
before this relationship I was feeling a bit like you...and then I ended up sleeping with a guy just for fun so to speak (the one and only 1 night stand in my life) and I regret it to this day. I did not enjoy it and it did absolutely nothing for me. I guess I had to find this out for myself through making this mistake...
not sure if any of this is helpful to you or not.
good luck thought with whatever you decide to do...jus tmake sure it is what you really want.0