Confusing stuff about what to do.....two women?

Long story short: Girl A, who appears to be expressing great interest in me, however I'm not so sure I want to date her, I am/was actually very interested in one of her friends (Girl B). Girl B and I went out to dinner a couple times, were once very communicative on the phone and text, hung out amongst friends a few times, etc... This went on for about 1.5months. I've told her about how I feel and that I'm interested/attracted to her, but she seemed kinda unreceptive to it, though she did continue to communicate and express interest afterwards. Part of the situation was kinda "awkward" because Girl A and Girl B are pretty good friends, and I did not want Girl B to think that communicating to Girl A was me pursuing her in a more-than-friends way; hard to explain. Then for some reason Girl B started to make plans with me then blow me off or cancel plans about an hour before. This happened a handful of times, I'm pretty hurt/annoyed/p*ssed off by this because she'd contact me to make plans to hang out, then cancel for stupid reasons. She's confusing the hell outta me now, most likely because she is confused about something that maybe has nothing to do with me. She'd tell me that I'm a "nice sweet guy", but I'm kinda getting treated like I'm an asshole. I thought of Girl B to be a really genuine person, very pretty, very easy to talk to; But I don't want to be humored and I don't want to be fished along or taken for a ride of BS; F**k that.

So this got me thinking. Should I perhaps pursue Girl A now? I don't particularly want to date her, although I think she would want to date me, but I think I can probably have sex with her if I play my cards right. Now hear me out a bit before the angry mob lights their torches. I don't mean to sound like a pig or anything as that/this is not my nature. BUT part of this contemplation is that; perhaps I should start approaching women differently than I have before. Hard to explain, I'd act with considerate intention but I just get dissed in the end. I get that "nice guy" crap too much and I'm kinda gettin sick of it. I've been in great relationships then ended horribly. Never had a one night stand before. This is not about attachment and it's not about a need for relationship. I guess I'm contemplating being a bit more selfish in that sense, caring less, and having more of a "f*** it" attitude. Doing some wrong because what I feel is right isn't getting me anywhere with anyone, so to speak. Perhaps think with my dick a bit more rather than my heart or my brain? Girl A is cool, not really what I look for in someone I'd date, she's pretty, but perhaps I can get happy getting her in the sack a few times by playing the game? My friends tell me I gotta get laid, though I've never been about one night stands or tolerating less than what I want for sex. I hope some of this makes sense. Reading my past 2 Questions might shed a bit of pre-info. on the two women I'm talking about and myself. Any advice would be appreciated.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think I can understand what you mean...In fact I can relate to much you have said...

    but I always think it is not the best or easiest to be someone you are not...or act in a mannor that is not usually who you are.

    I would say forget about girl b or tell her honestly how you feel and unless things change that is it..no more getting messed about. That way you probably should be more selfish..it's not always a bad thing

    now girls a...well you said you don't want to really be dating her...then I would say dont...but if you think you are ok with playing the game to get laid...try it out and see if it suites you

    but be prepared to feel aweful if you hurt the girls feelings or find out it is not you and you end up regretting it

    apart from that I would think it is a shame that you feel the need to act with a f**k it attitude...I can only speak for myself but I have always prefered the nice guys...been with one for the last 7 years and wouldn't change it for the world..

    before this relationship I was feeling a bit like you...and then I ended up sleeping with a guy just for fun so to speak (the one and only 1 night stand in my life) and I regret it to this day. I did not enjoy it and it did absolutely nothing for me. I guess I had to find this out for myself through making this mistake...

    not sure if any of this is helpful to you or not.

    good luck thought with whatever you decide to do...jus tmake sure it is what you really want.

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    • I guess a simple generalization of the whole situation is that I just feel awful about it all over and I'm trying to take action to not feel awful. I'm almost willing to settle for temporary solution, for once haha. Perhaps I think too much about the long term, which leaves little solution to what's happening in the now. I'm working on several different changes in my life right now, hard to adjust to, but I think it's for the better; it's at least worth a shot? I greatly appreciate your feedback.

What Girls Said 1

  • Forget B-i think she's stringing you along.

    Forget A-you would be stringing her along,shes 2nd best,and girl B and her are mates so girl b will tell A that you were into her first,and itll all get very messy and complicated-too much effort.

    Dont do any of what you said-there is enough a$$holes out there as it is who run game just to get a girl in bed..if its not in your nature then you will end up feeling pretty bad about it long term.

    You can get laid without playing someone-plenty of girls out there who want no strings one nighters.

    There are a lot of decent women out there who want a "nice guy",trust me,i don't think you should give up on it yet and be something your not just for the sake of listening to your friends and a one night stand.

    Anything worth having is worth waiting for and you shouldnt lower your standards.

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    • Girl A already knows that I was interested in Girl B. A often gives me sh*t for not hanging out enough, known her for about 5 years but we live 1hr away from each other. A few nights ago, A was texting me all p*ssed and jealous that I was hanging with B and not A, so I just said "I was hangin with B because I am/was attracted to her, but I'm pretty sure she's not interested anymore". I feel like it's a choice of either feeling stupid or feeling like a jerk, Still confused haha. I appreciate your words

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    • Are going to...dont try and justify it because if its not like you to do that,you won't be able to.

      Just my own advice...im not an expert and I'm sure plenty of people would say otherwise x

    • I'm aware of LIFE not easy haha. I'm more focused on this particular situation, one thing at a time, regardless of whatever other crap may or may not be going on outside of it. I do understand what you're saying though. I'm still kinda on the fence, just gonna go with the flow perhaps. I greatly appreciate your feedback, typing cannot express. Let me know when/if I can return the favor of response. : )

What Guys Said 1

  • If it be me, I'd be like, bonin both A and B, like if possible in da same room.

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