Do you think people put themselves in the friend zone and don't even realize it?

I hear a lot of people particularly guys complaining about being friend zoned. I don't believe in the "friend zone" I believe in the "I'm not interested, so keep it moving zone" lol. From my experience, guys put themselves there sometimes. I have had guys that i am not interested in continue to push it and keep asking well can I just be your friend. Even if I say no, then they ask well what's wrong with friends? We can just text from time to time. It's always guys that ask if they can be friends i never offer but I used to accept. So from my perspective, guys put themselves in the friend zone and know a girl does not like them or is not interested but they are determined to prove themselves. There is nothing wrong with trying but you can set yourself up for heartache if you meet one of those girls that will take advantage of you just because she knows you like her a lot. Most of the time try to get with me when I have a boyfriend or had a break up but when i'm single nobody seems interested lol. and for some reason they get jealous. Word of advice: Stop going after girls with boyfriends, girls that just broke up and are vulnerable, and girls that tell you they are not interested. Even if she offers to just be friends, if she does not seem to want to get to know you on a deeper level for possibly more than friendship, REMOVE YOURSELF from the friend zone. You do have that power lol. So what does everyone think? Who is responsible for being and staying in the friend zone yourself or the friend zoner? Why are people so mad about something the can change as much as you want to be with a person isn't it better to just walk away?

Updates:
I think this is an interesting topic and I appreciate everyone for answering my question. I hope everyone can learn something from each other. I am working on shortening my personal friend zone story for the next update
3 years ago a guy started message me on Fb I told him I had a bf he did not care he was just being nice. My bf and I broke up and I thought I was pregnant I told the guy and he offered to sign the birth certificate I got a restraining order on him

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The friendzone is just a comforting lie guys (and dorm girls) place themselves so it makes it easier to deal with rejection.

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What Guys Said 35

  • It's an interesting to post. I think most guys harbor the hope that if they stick around long enough, the girl will eventually realize that he was the one she was looking for all along. Men tend to blame women for the being "friend zoned" by it is actually men themselves who initiate the friend zone, because they fear being rejected. They never state their interest openly. That's why this idea of being friends first generally does not work. If the girl was originally interested it might. But if she wasn't yet, she'll just take your "let's just be friends" at face value. Men like that are like a boiling pot. Over time their impatience (She hasn't realized I am the one after all this time. why?) boils over and they become angry and resentful.

    I am not saying that women are blameless, but I believe that guy should take responsibility for their own issues. If you've ever told a girl let's just be friends while you were truly interested, then it is your issue. You lied! You lied because you were so afraid of what she might think of you. It is your anxiety to holds you back, not women friend zoning you.

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    • THat's the point i'm trying to make instead of walking away sometimes friendship is offered but a guy might have other expectations in the long wrong while the girl doesn't think anything of it especially if she is too busy chasing someone else or interested in another guy. I don't understand how a person emotionally invests in a person that they just like and they don't even like them back all of that could just be put into a relationship with a person where you both like each other

    • that last sentence was powerful!!

    • Thanks :) It makes sense because I lived it and make better choices now, I don't do the chase and I'm not picky. If i'm interested I show a guy and if he is I want him to show me but I will not chase or run that is childish. Leaving a bit of mystery is intriguing when getting to know someone, but that is something different then leaving someone in the blind

  • You're entirely right. There really is *no* friendship between men and women; only prospective mates. There *is* acquaintanceship, but no real 'friends'. Men and women like to say they're friends a lot of the time, but the only thing they're interested in is obtaining a mate--through the other gendered 'friend''s contacts or directly with her/him.

    Thus, as you mention, there is no such thing as 'friend zoned'; though, that zone is called, 'I really don't want to go out with you. You sicken me,' with or without the sicken part.

    Also, the idea of the friend zone is that when you get in, you can never get out. So, that's why guys get overly upset about it. But, they're all idiots anyway.

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    • Thanks for the input it's also sums up what I said. I really wish more people realized this but hopefully everyone learns something

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    • Lol actually I do get attention when i'm single but this is the first time that in single just want to be that way for now and it seems weird I just don't think i'm at a good place right now many outside factors could affect a relationship. I actually notice the attention but I usually am inside all the time and that prevents it but of course online it still happens. I can honestly say i'm not putting myself out there but I do notice and sometimes wonder if im missing out

    • Life is short. May as well share it with someone. You never know what could happen, and you're always going to have character flaws. The trick is to find someone willing to put up with those flaws or help you fix them.

      But, as my old friend Kierkegaard said, "Marry or do not marry, you will regret it either way." So, it doesn't really matter. Chances are you'll regret either choice, so may as well regret the one involving companionship.

  • Friend Zone. Basically, Guys, when you can't have that girl that you always liked, the answer is very simple, Become awesome at what you like, work out, use people. Been a long time since you became evil anyways huh? Why not just push it? Love it while you're at it, because you all know as well as anyone, true love wouldn't happen anytime soon, so why not just enjoy till then? ^.^ And oh, when you do all this, believe me, YOU WILL GET GIRLS, maybe just not the one that you fell for when you were dumb and lanky. Hope this helped :)

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  • Hey, friendships can be pretty deep, it's just that you wouldn't want to live together on the long-term, which is reasonable. Whether you'd establish an friends with benefits relation is up to you, although I'd feel that it is deceptive and would eventually bug me.

    If someone consciously "places someone in the friend zone", then they're manipulative. However, it's true that basically it's just the pretentious way of saying "not interested in being with them because they either don't seem compatible or just think or feel it wouldn't work out". Basically, being in a relationship with them would be less beneficial than harmful. That's what "friend zoning" is about.

    And that really isn't the guy's responsibility to determine whether they are worth dating or not. It's the girl's Therefore, people don't put themselves in the friend zone, although they can exhibit behavior that would make them seem unappealing in a long or even short-term relationship.

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    • I don't understand why some people even bother friend zoning someone that can be misleading If i'm not interested i'm pretty straight forward because I know what it's like to be in the friend zone but I was being mislead I eventually did end up with guy after a long time and it was not even worth it. I was infatuated with who I though he really was and his true colors showed once I finally became his girlfriend. I felt so stupid and I would never have someone get their hopes high and the don't even know me.

  • The situation you describe (guy wants to be friends, possibly harboring hope to become more) isn't the friendzone. The friendzone is when you've been dating a woman for at least several weeks or months, buying her stuff, taking her out, toing her favors (that nobody would do for a friend) but then, since there hasn't been any unambiguous declaration of the relationship status, the girl denies the existence of a relationship. I've never been in the friendzone, but I have a few friends who end up there over and over. It is, as you say, mostly the guy's fault. It happens because he can't set boundaries in his relationships. He's usually working under the belief that he is morally superior if he allows the woman to dictate the progress of the sexual aspect of the relationship. Therefore he is giving her whatever she wants and waiting to be 'rewarded' by her sexual advances. So they're not really friends, and it isn't really a zone, but yes, there's a friendzone and no, nobody realizes they are in it until they're deep in it.

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    • I think people need to be more vocal about how they feel and what they want and if you feel like things are not going anywhere then just stop doing things, but I know its challenging once you have emotionally invested in someone at that point its the other person's fault for misleading.

    • I think these guys think women are fragile and pure and innocent, and view their own sexuality with disgust and contempt. They then project their disgust and contempt for themselves onto others (particularly on to women they are sexually interested in)
      That's why they don't set boundaries. They believe that only women have the right to have boundaries. At the same time, they won't accept that women are attracted to men often based on superficial qualities that are innate to some men. (which should sound familiar to any man who knows the first thing about himself) This leaves these friendzoned guys frustrated and angry, and feeling guilty for having expected to get laid after all that work and expense.

    • You're right we like a respectful guy that can still put themselves out there. I like to get a guy out of his comfort zone when I first meet him to break the ice and let him know its ok to speak your mind and flirt.

  • I think guys do put themselves in the Friend Zone from my experience, but that girls also exploit it to the max. I'll give you an example. I was personally in the Friend Zone myself with a girl. She was someone with similar interests who I was very interested in, but she was dating a known player when we first started talking a lot. We texted 12 hours a day, for close to a year. Every time that douchebag player cheated on her, who do you think she came to for support? That's right, me.

    So when they finally did end it, I expected to have a pretty good chance with her. I told her how I felt, asked her if she's let me court her, assuring her I'd treat her right. She agrees at first, then the next day decides it wouldn't work out. Then she goes and hooks up with the wimpiest guy I've ever seen in my life. The guy talked with a lisp, weighed about 80 lbs, and was about five foot even. At this time I had my own place, was logging, and was learning Jeet Kune Do.

    This girl was always complaining about her abusive grandmother, saying how she wanted to move out. Well damn, I was giving her a chance, but she had to go for some momma's boy that still lived with his parents, and planned to for the next five years while he learned French at the local community college. (as if that would do him any good here)

    I basically had the guy beat in every department: Looks, personality, money, body strength, knowledge, etc. I couldn't help but be insulted by her lack of taste in men, so I quit being friends with her. After that I told her I just couldn't be friends with her anymore, that she broke my heart, and insulted me by getting with such a scrawny loser. Later she moved off to a university, and got some other boyfriend. She tried talking to me last time she came back to down and she saw me in Walmart. She was smiling and waving, I just glared at her and walked past her, giving her the cold shoulder.

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    • Aww :c don't take it personally, man. Sometimes people just feel they need certain things in their life.
      You didn't "have him beat in everything" because attraction is relative, maybe she wanted someone unassuming and weak because her bf had been the opposite. Maybe she secretly likes lisps -shrug- either way, I think if you had been more open at WalMart and talked to her, tell her how well you're doing would've been more of a blow to her than giving her an ugly look.

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    • Well she was very immature and obviously not ready for a real relationship with a guy that treats her right because she keeps choosing jerks. She would not have deserved you anyway

    • Well it turned out that about every female in her family tree was crazy as a loon, and you know the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Probably a good thing I didn't end up with her.

  • i´ve never heard of any guy who got turned down and then asked to be friends XD to me it was allways the other way around. we are friends, get closer and closer untill i get the feeling i like her more but then i get rejected.
    why would i keep trying, if she allready said no?

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    • I don't know that's what i'm trying to find out it does not make sense to me if i'm not interested then why would I want to be friends

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    • It might be worth it depends on how they both feel

    • yup. i agree. i currently try to keep such a friendship going but i think it doesn´t work for me... way too painfull.

  • I feel too many guys defaultly put themselves in the friend zone by not taking enough action via showing his interest in her in a masculine way.

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    • Sometimes that works sometimes it does not it all depends on if the girl actually likes the guy or is interested

  • You have actually had a guy ask to "just be your friend?" That's crazy unless they were never interested in anything more to begin with.

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    • Some guys ask to be friends in hopes that a girl will change her mind about how she feels about him in the future

    • Waste of time if you ask me.

    • It sure is a waste of time I would much rather pursue someone that I know actually likes me back

  • i believe so. just because i have done it in the past. i have been that guy that put him self in the friend zone to try to prove him self. i learned my lesson with that one. i have also become so close with a girl that it turned into a friendship relationship. that was do to the fact that i never made a move. i waited too long. but its always the question that i ask myself is "what if" what if i can show her that i am worth it. but i agree i think people on both partys need to tell it like it is. and figure out if they should continue. since it would turn into a harmful relationship

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    • I agree that some friendships turn into relationships bit kind of just happens naturally.

  • Guys and girls can be friends, and if you put yourself in the friend zone, it's because you want to be there. Sometimes you meet people that you would rather have as a friend than not know at all, regardless of what you wanted initially.

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  • Yes, it is *much* better to just walk away. In my opinion, nobody friend-zones you. You only friend-zone yourself.

    If she doesn't want a romantic relationship with you, she has that right to decline.

    Conversely, if you don't want a platonic relationship with her, you also have that right to decline! The answer is simple, don't be her friend if that isn't what you want.

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  • I agree with you, most of the time guys put themselves in the friendzone. There are cases of chicks stringing guys along, but in the end - they tolerate the behavior.

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    • Yes some girls actually string guys along but even they realize it they don't cut the strings so the ball is still in their court

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    • That really sucks I have met guys that ask upfront if I am going to friend zone them lol because it has happened before and I respect a guy that is upfront eventually some guys notice this pattern and make better choices.

    • Agreed. But some people have low self esteem and get taken advantage of by shitty people.

  • Guys friend zone themselves by trying to be nice with a girl but not daring to ask her out or be clear about his intentions. They keep hanging out around her thinking that she will fall in love with them instantly. Sometimes girls like their personalities but not find them attractive which leads to them been considered friends. If they whine about it they are pussies.

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    • Exactly just move on and find a girl that likes you too why waste time on someone that rejected you in the first place that is stupid

    • Lived through and learned from this a long time ago. I fell into this trap once and I was extra careful about not falling into it a second time.

  • You are right, the majority of times, the guy is the sole responsible for being and staying in the friend-zone. The only time the girl is to blame is when she is purposefully leading him on to keep him around as easy attention and confidence booster.

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  • Friend zone is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I honestly have never experienced and I think friends is great, her loss for friend zoning me right move on and find someone you have a great time with.

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    • If only other people would see it that way and not be so into their feelings :)

  • what's wrong with being someone's friend?
    anyway nobody asks can i be your friend that is like 3 year oldish

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    • Plenty of people ask that and I don't see anything wrong with being friends but some people have other expectations as a friend they hope they can work their way up to something more even after they have been rejected

    • i dont mind it as long as we are actually friends and that friendship is mutual ie. i listen to her crap and she listens to mine but if she just wants to use me then no thank you, she probably won't make a decent gf.

  • The fact that you spend so much time thinking about it leads me to believe that perhaps there is an exploit.

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  • I have a personally have a hard time believing a girl when she says she has A ''boyfriend'' most of the time they don't. I want proof she's dating like pics or I want to see him in person. No proof means she's bullshitting. Now I only believe its ugly people who get friend zoned more guys than girls. Guys would actually give the girl a chance but the girl needs the guy to be a rich , tall, good looking etc even before he could be looked at.

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    • If a girl tells you that she is seeing someone and she is lying then that is another way of saying she is not interested. Why go and look for proof? Plenty of people get friend zoned no matter how they look or how good of a person they are most of the time they are not into the person, the are taken, they just got out of a relationship, or they don't find a person attractive but I don't believe the sole reason is because of lack of attraction.

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    • Looks will fade and money can't buy happiness it may get you out of financial problems but it is not everything. There a lot of good looking rich people that are not happy because of other factors in their life. The could have poor health, no friends, depression, a bad spouse that's if they even have one.

    • I'd rather be rich and miserable than poor and happy.

  • I've wanted to put myself in there some time. it was a tactical move but she didn't want to be in there ^^

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  • People put themselves in freind zones. They bring it upon themselves by not "flirting" or "hitting" on the other person. If you hang out over and over again with casual conversations, of course you will end up in the friend zone. A move needs to be made from either party in order to spark something.

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    • Yes I think some guys don't even initiate because maybe they feel that they are being safe so they go with the friends first

  • ITs not easy to move from someone who is not intrested n you and i can'nt blame them

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    • I think it should be easy if the person clearly let's you know that they are not interested. It's ridiculous that a person can't control their emotions. I can't see myself upset over a guy that does not like me I was never with.

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    • I guess so You can't tell right off the bat where something will go but I think it's important to know that both people will put effort

  • I know they do from time to time.

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  • Yes they do and they do it because they aren't honest about their intentions from the get go.

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    • Why do you think they are not honest from the beginning it would make sense to?

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    • Well I prefer a guy to be up front and flirt with me. I would date a guy if I am interested not befriend him.

    • This is it and if you aren't interested, then either way you know where you stand and so does he.

  • no people put them there, there's a reason its called a zone

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  • No such thing as a friend zone. You just fat and gay.

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  • Well I do that often.

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  • I don't think so. Some guys are just dumb because they do nothing but boost women's pathetic egos by fawning over them not knowing they are degrading themselves.

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  • Yes... you must never stop talking about sex if you don't want to be friend zoned its the rule of all rules my Afrodita. Don't be nice and don't be rude be just right... right in the middle. Like when you add just the right amount of sugar to your coffee it tastes just right. Keep it sweet and simple right in the middle. Mix prick with nice and she will fall. Fall hard or he will fall as well. Neve spend too much time giving him attention do it just right. Give him mix signals and keep him guessing. Make him want to want you... to taste you is the purpose you want him to have right? Touch him here and there but then act repulsed when he does it back to you. Make him think you like him but doubt it at the same time. It's key to it all you must keep them guessing if you want to bring the boys to the yard.

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  • I've been a victim of this stupid 'friendzone' more often than i would have liked. But I personally find this 'friendzone' a BIG insult, so I never wish to remain in it.

    Whenever I'm put into this dreaded friendzone, its obviously humiliating for me to know that i wasn't good enough for that person. Besides, when I have feelings for someone and she puts me in the friendzone, I wouldn't want to stay in contact with her anymore and suffer emotional pain on a daily basis, while putting on a mask of friendship and pretending to be normal. So I make it a point to sever all links with anyone who freindzones me (which involves removing them from social networks, email contacts, phone etc.). But these women don't take too kindly to it, and say that 'I'm mean, immature and they'll miss being my friend'.

    I know its THEIR choice to put me in the friendzone and I'm not opposing that. In the same way, its MY choice not to REMAIN in this friendzone? When I have feelings for someone and she sees me only as a friend, how can this even be called 'friendship' anymore? And I honestly wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone who doesn't find me good enough for her. Whenever I'm friendzoned, I stick up my middle finger in her face, say "its your loss, not mine" and move in with my life.

    Besides, the concept of 'friendzone' itself is skewed. If she says "I'm sorry, but I only see you as a friend and don't want to ruin our friendship", what it ACTUALLY means is something like this:- "I don't consider you good enough for me because you're below my league, but still I don't want to sever contact with you because you may be useful to me in some way. Hence I'm putting you in this dreaded friend-zone, so that you can languish in it forever while listening to my problems and helping whenever you can".

    Male-female friendships NEVER work, unless one (or both) of them aren't available for a relationship.

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    • Well I'm glad that you are able to cut ties with someone who does that but I know you still have to deal with the pain. I think that is very selfish when a person does that to someone and they know that they genuinely care about. When they end up with a jerk which is usually what happens they will be thinking of you and still repeat the pattern of dating jerks which is why most girls that put guys in the friend zone does not deserve you even if she gave you a chance. You will be more than good enough for someone else one day.

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    • Actually the way you are phrasing is kinda wrong and if you think 'Well she thinks I'm not good enough for her' you might have a little bit of insecurity. Not all guys that get friend zoned are friend zoned because they aren't attractive. I've friend zoned a guy because he said he's cheated, One of his pet peeves is something I do, We don't have the same beliefs, His personality isn't that great or he isn't confident In himself. You kind of seem a bit more angry about friend zoning than you should be... I know many single people that are of the opposite sex that are great friends.

    • @CuriousBlackGirl

      I'm not 'angry' about friendzoning. Its just that I wouldn't want to have to do anything with someone who feels I'm not good enough for her (not just physically, but in any way).

      You're getting confused between 'being friends' and getting 'friendzoned'. I too have a few good female friends, and I don't really see them in a romantic way. But if one of them showed some interest in me, I would definitely not turn them away and give it a shot. But being 'friendzoned' is permanently ruling out someone, which I never do to anyone. As for those singles of opposite gender whom you say are great friends, its only a matter of time before one of them falls for the other and end up being disappointed.

      Being friendzoned is similar to a situation where I perform well enough in a contest to bag the first prize, but I'm only awarded the consolation prize (that is, friendship) because the judge (the woman) doesn't like me enough to award me the first prize.

  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 18

  • Honestly... whenever I put somebody in the friend zone I am consciously make a decision to. I don't think people unknowingly put people in the friend zone.. If they unknowingly do it it's because they initially met the person, became friends with them, and thinks that the other person just wants friendship only just like they do... Sometimes it goes in my head to flirt with guy friends but the only thing stopping me is fear of rejection.. Nobody likes to be rejected especially by a person they value so much and nobody wants to go through the embarrassment of being told "Gross, don't flirt with me." type thing... I know when I put people in the friend zone and it's not accidental. The ONLY time it is accidental is when I connect with a person as a friend and I assume that me and him just see one another as friends lol but I mean it rarely happens honestly because most people assume "oh they may be liking me" even when the other person is not and people make up scenarios in their head or wonder things... so yeah usually if I declare a person just as a friend I do it knowingly and consciously lol

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  • The definition of friend zone is "a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other."

    I consider the friend zone to be when a guy and girl already have formed a friendship, but then one of them starts developing feelings for the other. Not when a guy pursues a girl, she's not really interested, so he tries to be her friend with the ulterior motive of getting in her pants. That does not fit the actual definition of the friend zone.

    I've been friend zoned because I show zero romantic interest. Like, no one has a clue about who I have a liking towards because I don't show any signs even when I do like a guy. I just treat everybody the exact same way, even guys that I have a crush on. A guy friend of mine used to show a lot of signs of liking me. I liked him, too. But I treated him the same way I treat all the rest of my guy friends. He stuck me in the friend zone because I guess it felt useless crushing on this girl who was giving off zero vibes in return.

    I think I put myself in the friend zone because that's exactly how I treat all guys---as friends, nothing more. I don't have a flirtatious bone in my body and I totally see how someone can lose interest in a person who isn't showing any interest back. As for the guy I mentioned above, we're still good friends and I don't stay friends with him because I have ulterior motives. Yeah, it would be nice if he took me out of the friend zone, but seeing as I put myself there, I'm not keeping my hopes up.

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  • Nope some people just will not see an individual as a romantic/sexual partner. Whether it be on the basis of
    -looks
    -beliefs
    -future goals
    -not being compatible
    -est

    I'm an Atheist and religious guys are ALWAYS trying to date me. IT doesn't make any damn sense.

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    • Yes but some guys just don't get it though they don't realize your reasons or they don't care they are just determined to get you to like them or see something different

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    • I have always said that a person that can't comprehend rejection and constantly pressures you could potentially have serious issues.

    • And be a threat to you and those around you.

  • Yes. So many guys are overly (creepily) friendly straight away and they treat the girl like their best friend and nothing more. Guys need to be respectfully flirty from the get go so the girl knows they're interested and if you get friend zoned, then it's just a polite way of saying she's not interested and nothing to get angry or cry over! And it's certainly not an excuse to generalise. If you've been "friend zoned" numerous times, its not because you're a "nice guy" and girls date bad guys. It's because you're not that attractive, you have a weird personality or you're close to stalkerish

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    • Right some guys may think they will scare a girl by flirting but there is nothing wrong with showing your interest that way if she flirts back you don't have to wonder if she only likes you as a friend or is comfortable with something more

    • Exactly. If you start of like a friend, she'll only view you as a friend. If she really likes you, she'll take it more. If you flirt immediately and the girl doesn't see you in that way, then she'll blank you or show her disinterest so then the guy can move on immediately.

    • take it further*

  • no. i dont think so. i dont believe in zones. think a person os interested in you or not. if thy are not you're not fiend zoned they are just not interested.

    if you decide you want to be friends thats your business, but its not something anyone did to you.

    they call it a zone bc they can't accept defeat. zone makes it sound like there's hopes of switching zones. when in reality she's just not into you. or he. accept it and find someone you dont have to win over.. you really want to be the person who can say yah s/he wasn't into me at first but after 767 days i finally wore them down.

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  • I like this topic! When I am single my phone never ever goes off! But since I started a relationship with my boyfriend my phone has been none stop of random boys! My boyfriend hates it but he knows I would never reply! Why don't single boys go for single girls! There is always someone trying to interfere in any relationship in my opinion!:-)

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  • This is true. Some guys will spend weeks, months, & years trying to convince a girl that she should date him, knowing that the girl may NEVER change her mind. Instead of realizing that there's billions of other girls in this world that they could try to date. & then they proceed to blame the girl for wasting their time when clearly they wasted their own time & energy.

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    • Exactly the wasted their own time emotionally investing in someone they more then likely were never even dating

  • whats stupid about the friendzone is its a pressure system, just because you know a guy it doesn't mean you have to date them, you can be friends with guys. men just find it so crazy that not every woman they meet or talk to wants to date them.
    in fact guys should listen up because girls have it worse, we get fuckzoned which is where a guy pretends to be interested in you, has sex with you then pretends you don't exist

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    • People need to start using their brain more and most of the time there is no puzzle there they just don't want to accept it

  • True!!! You are in the friend zone because you choose not to take another step without her leading. I think they call this guy the beta/omega male.

    For example I met a guy and I tried to be friends with him and he just is not having it, like it is not even an option. I was upset that I couldnt just pass us off as friends but I am starting to respect him lol.

    Actually, I think all of my guyfriends are 'friendzoned' but they choose to be, so what can I do?

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    • If you are not interested just say no to being friends and if these guys really like you they will still try to pursue you, it's not being rude at all rejection is a part of life you could really hurt someone if they don't cut their-selves off then you should at least try to.

    • I understand you're comment but that's only assuming the guy only wants a romantic relationship... which I assume most guys but not every guy especially if you are in the same career field as them in ex. Art design and film students. If the man looks hurt or in pain by a friendship then of course I'd back off I mean, pardon my language, but no one wants a friend so focused on your V that he's crying over it or something.

    • Just saying...

  • My sentiments exactly.

    I've only ever had one guy accuse me of friendzoning him as most of my male friends are gay, but it made me so mad. I literally thought this person was my friend but all he was interested in was getting into my pants and then being resentful for a whole year at the fact I refused him (how dare I not want to have sex with him! Shocking)

    Do yourself a favour, don't stick around to be someones ''friend'' if you think they are:

    1. Going to be persuaded into liking you.
    2. Resent that person when they treat you like a friend

    Just leave, seriously, it's much better for both parties involved.

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    • It's not always about just getting into their pants. A lot of the times guys genuinely like a girl for her personality and think that developing a close friendship with her would be the best way to enter into a relationship. Unfortunately girls would rather go for a guy they barely know who just approaches them and randomly asks them out. Now I'm an asshole, and don't try to be friends with girls, at all. If I find a girl I like, I'm just going to ask her to go out with me. That seems to be what works.

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    • That is something different in that case I would not hide these feelings unless I felt like I had a chance.

    • @catguy I see what you mean.

  • I put myself in the friend zone sometimes... usually I plan on doing it so I'm fine with it. Especially if a guy is aggressively insinuating he wants something physical with me, I immediately put the friend zone there... so he knows what's what.

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    • That's not being in the friendzone. That's you setting honest boundaries and thereby preventing others from being in your friendzone.
      The friendzone is like if I bought you dinner once or twice a week and took you to a movie now and again, fixed your car when it broke down, took you out dancing every Thursday bought you jewelry for your birthday, and then after three months, I finally tried to kiss you and you were like, "Whoa! I thought we were just friends."
      Based on your comment, I think there would be less people in the friendzone if more people were as grounded in reality as you seem to be.

    • Damn! I wouldn't call that friend zone... I'd call that being a bitch/user/manipulator...

      Wow... thank you. ^-^ I never saw myself like that...

  • Yeah, definitely. I've had guys who have said they wish that I was their sister or flirted and always ended up saying "just joking!". Of course, if you so bluntly say these things, I'm going to believe you because why look for interest when someone so obviously states that they wish you were a family member?

    Turns out, after I got a boyfriend or they found out I had one, they'd get disappointed and sometimes confess their feelings.

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  • A lot of guys put themselves in the friend zone because they don't show interest immediately. Fearing if they happen to it will ruin the friendship.

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    • I agree with that also I think they assume this is a more safe approach but there is nothing creepy about flirting unless you go overboard. How is someone supposed to know you like them and you are not really showing it? I think some guys second guess themselves.

  • Ya probably or they don't show interest in the beginning enough to have the 'friend' notice

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  • Most guys put themselves in the friend zone unconsciously

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    • How do guys put themselves in friend zones?

    • because they never say what they are supposed to say
      2/they are afraid of what we may respond
      3/they don't have strong personality & that sucks for a girl

    • Yes this is the main thing you can be respectful and still flirt and be vocal about your feelings. If you offer friendship first and don't seem to really want more then we will see you as a friend.

  • yes guys do it a lot

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  • I've been told I'm such a good listener... I always talk to my brothers friends. They tell me I'm awesome, which is cool, yet I've never known one to ever crush on me. Sometimes we don't know when we are being friendly in a "friend kind of way" or being "friendlier." It kinda sucks not knowing what you are doing wrong.

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  • Of course they do. If a person is in the "friendzone" it's because they put themselves there. If you're interested in someone but don't flirt with them or ask them out, you shouldn't be surprised when you're in the friendzone. There are exceptions (like anything else), but if your feelings are getting taken advantage of, you generally only have yourself to blame.

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    • I just think that they think of it as an alternative way to get a girl after rejection but it really does not change anything.

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