WTF does she want from me?

When I first started this job this cute little shy girl gave me, or so I thought all the signs in the world. She would blush around me, act nervous, and fidgety. The real way I figured she was into me was that she knew my schedule and I'd run into her in the hallway all the time. Almost like clockwork. She'd just stare at me without saying anything. Finally I stopped her one day and she turned almost purple and was like stuttering. Lol.

Oh did I mention she has a boyfriend?

So for over a year now this girl and I have been up and down back and forth. We used to met "randomly" i guess almost everyday every other at least and walk and talk together. We'd do this a ton and then she'd go missing in me then come back and repeat over again. I started to ignore her and change up my schedule because I was so confused by her. I think I hurt her by doing this.

At one point I ignored her for almost 2 months and was cold to her. I'd occasionally walk up to her desk and try and talk and she'd do this too busy to chat barely turn around from her computer thing. I got the hint.

So we've been back and forth, but we don't talk like we used to. She has been skipping most of our work events, except one when I was out if town and she was sure to let me know how she went.

The strange thing I guess that u don't understand is like how she just won't seem to let me forget about her or something. We don't talk like we used to but she'll still show up in places I'll be at certain times. We chat a little bit but it's not quite the same. This is the part I don't get. She's not nervous really anymore like she used to be, but i don't know it's not the same.

It's like she wants my attention but it's weird. Wtf is this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here is my theory :

    Had a crush on you (boyfriend or not) and was trying to get your attention
    Got your attention and started to make inroads
    Was unclear of your desires
    You avoiding her was maybe sign that she was being too pushy
    Is still smitten with you but trying to provide distance because she feels she can't explore that path since you didn't want it

    My advice : if you have any interest in this girl - make a move and find out. "Hey, I have two tickets to blah blah concert next week - I haven't seen you inawhile and though you might want to go and we can catch up'.

    If she is really interested - boyfriend or not - she will probably go. If she blows you off - the crush is over... move on.

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    • Also - if you go and you want this to continue I'd be straight with her "Look, I really enjoy time with you and I feel like there is a real attraction when we are together. I don't know what your dating situation is but I'd love to spend more time with you. If you are committed right now, I understand and will back off. Let me know if we should plan something else soon.'

      Ball is in her court, she knows you want her - if this is where she wants to be she will break it off with her guy. If not, then leave it at that. She might be insecure in letting you know her true feelings for fear of 'ruining it forever' but thats just insecurity. Take that out of it. You are interested, you want to take the next step - does she? If she does - she will jump at the chance. If not, say 'No problem, I respect that and at least we can still be work freinds. See you at the office.'

What Girls Said 2

  • This sounds familiar:) I would guess that she developed a crush but may be too insecure to confront you about it. Maybe felt like she wasn't good enough to go with you but still wanted your company. By ignoring you or looking "too busy" she may be trying to look important or get over her crush because she may have decided she didn't have a chance. I may be completely wrong but I was in high school and I did go through insecurities:)

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    • Well did you see that she had a bf?

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    • I could be completely wrong here but it just sounds to me like she's craving some male attention. If I'm right then that is her problem, not yours or your friends.

    • I think you are probably right, but it's the way she went to him while I was fully ignoring her, and my buddy at that, and how he ended up tell me about it and how it was creeping him out. I started talking to her again the very next day and she backed off him. Later he even told me how she had. Super weird if you ask me.

  • She probably likes you but is too shy to admit it. By ignoring her, you basically made her pissed. You can't just simply spend time together and then all of a sudden, you're ignoring each other. The part where she goes missing may probably mean she doesn't feel easy being too close with a guy when she has a boyfriend and when she comes back, it means she can't get over you. When she starts giving you the cold shoulder and all, it means that she's still pissed but still, unfortunately, can't get over you due to the fact that she still appears at certain places. Get over her. Nothing to see and nothing to do. It's pointless :)

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    • I'm trying it's just annoying. I'll get this close
      To. Getting over her and them boom she'll pop up. But she's like guarded or something, like she won't stay and chat for too long maybe like she used to so I don't get that? She wants to see me maybe talk a little bit but then she's ready to move? She's so weird. I've met her bf but she still refers to him as my bf not his name.

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    • Oh and by the way, what you're basically saying about yourself means you're an observer. I'm one too lol. I'm thinking of majoring in psychology XD jokes but still

    • You're awesome thanks again!

What Guys Said 3

  • One of my friends had a similar experience. I don't even talk to such girls who don't know what they want. I had a relationship with one who was so insecure and I can recall bad memories more than happy. Its just a waste of time.

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    • Agreed. Do you think that's what's up here? Did you see that she had a boyfriend?

    • Yes I saw it and this makes me more strict to what I said above. The girl my friend met as stated above had a boyfriend too and she always was hitting my friend, back and forth just like you. In my occasion, my girlfriend was still in contact with her ex who, guess what, was her first. That guys was the reason we broke up. She was always talking about him as if I care about this prick and she never told that guy that she is done with him because she has another boyfriend. She tried to convince me that they're just ''friends''. Well, one day when I searched her messages in her laptop I saw what the friendship she was taking about was like. As I said, these girls are a waste of time. Find someone who knows what she wants and is mature enough for you.

  • She's got a boyfriend? Hell if she isn't single, leave her alone. If she likes you more than her boyfriend, she'll dump him and get with you and then when she crushes on someone else, she'll leave you for him.

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