Im overweight. No one can ever love me the way I look now?

Im slightly overweigh, 20kg (40pounds and Im 5'11) . I gained weight because I got bullied and depressed and while recovering from slight eating disorder...

I have never been in a relationship or more that hugged a guy to be honest.
In high school people said I was gross and lazy. ( After high school I lost weight, got eating disorder, gained weight again)

I've been on this site for a while and guys seem to hate fat and chubby girls. I dont know if I can ever be skinny, maybe normal. Im afraid of going too far again while losing weight

I dont want to be overweight. Im trying to loose wight now, I dont need advice for that. I know how to do that. I really want to be fit but would that make guys more interested? Is slight overweight disgusting to guys?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I used to have very bad anorexia and I had a boyfriend at the time. I would constantly be asking if he thought I was fat (bearing in mind I looked like a bag of bones) and he would always say to me 'I love you Amy. I don't care if you're 30 pounds or 300 lbs). I met him being bigger, I was with him being smaller and although we're not together anymore I am best friends with him at a healthy weight.
    What stops you from finding a guy who loves you is yourself, you're own insecurity, your own belief that no guy will want you and you don't deserve a guy to want you. That is what needs to be resolved, not your body itself. It's a lot easier said that done, I know because I've been there too, but don't let your insecurities overshadow the beautiful personality you have. A lot of guys won't mind a bit of extra weight, especially if you're trying to be healthy and fit :)

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    • I cried while reading this. You are right. You described exactly how I feel. Thank you for making me realize. I will try to work with my head because thats the real problem here :)

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    • Thank you :) I wish you all the best too. And dont worry, I only cried because I truly realized something and now I can focus on the real problem and help myself.

    • Then I'm glad I could have been some help :) You seem lovely and have a lot to offer. All the best :)

What Guys Said 7

  • No don't worry about it girl, your fine and all is good. Just believe in yourself, that's all that matters.

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  • A lot of times guys can be repelled solely by a girl's body insecurity, rather than her body itself. If you feel this bad about yourself, chances are you show it every day and that's way more of a turn off than a little extra weight.

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  • well it depends really, I've dated a girl who was a little chubby but not to big but im fine as long as she isn't way to big.

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  • No. Well in my opinion. You would be fine. Us boys can be jerks sometimes. Be patient. I actually used to have a crush on a slightly overweight girl, a few pounds more than you. Good Luck

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  • I wouldn't date a girl who is chubby, and I think most guys feel the same way. Lose weight if you want make attention.

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    • I'm 100% sure you couldn't date a fat or skinny girl since u are under 18 and don't have a job (student). Don't use your screen name next time you want to leave someone who is feeling down a nasty comment.

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    • Fair enough. I was speaking based on anecdotal evidence (which I clearly don't have very much of, as pointed out by Skeeter). As a teen who hangs out with athletic guys and hot girls, I suppose I do have a rather... limited... perspective.

    • Yes. Quite limited, but its okay. You are still young :)
      Though what most teen boys prefer, Im not that interested in, since I want someone older than 18. But Km appreaciate either way

  • I know the feeling of having a weird body. I was 5,10 and 105 pounds so I was a skinny little wimp in HS. I had to gain weight to get girls attention and did naturally so now I'm 155. Don't change for other if you want to change change for yourself not for not others.

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  • for most guys yeah personally i would not date an overweight girl but if she was a little chubby yeah

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What Girls Said 3

  • MANY guys does not care. If they like you, the little extra weight does not matter. It could be a confidence problem? Girls who are seriously overweight, but confident, can get boys. I have a friend, she is also tall and overweight, but she has one hot boyfriend after the other! She just loves herself.

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  • First thing's first: you have to learn to love yourself, no matter what you look like

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  • Every guys has a different preference. The guy I'm seeing loves me the way I am and I'm overweight as well.

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