I started to date this guy a month ago. His family is "rich", so he can afford to take me out twice a week (to at least to places in one day) and we usually go to fancy places. He pays most of the times (except 3 times: 2 times when we went to the movies and I paid for the popcorns and stuff, and one time we went to have dinner and I picked up the check). The thing is that he picks up the check with no problem and sometimes I feel bad for it, like I'm taking advantage, because I can't afford to go out that often, to many places. I would prefer to split the check, but he once said that he doesn't like that, that he prefers when he pays in one place, and then the other person pays another place.
This is my first time ever dating, and I know each relationship is different, but I would like to get an idea of what do other couples do so I can think in a possible solution so I can talk to him.
- I pay most of the timesVote A
- My partner pays most of the timesVote B
- It's a 50% / 50% thing.Vote C
- OtherVote D
Most Helpful Girl
If he says he doesn't like that then he doesn't like that. Some guys like to pick up the check because it makes them feel masculine I believe. Here is a story...
My ex... He would always pay. At the same time, I knew he was saving money to move out of his parents and I made more then him and would offer to pay but he continued to refuse. One night we went to dinner And the check came while he was in the restroom. I thought I would be sneaky and pay lol... He was not thrilled one bit. Two years later (the present), he actually told me how much that upset him. Said that he wants to treat me because I am special to him and deserve it. That he wants to be the leader. Granted we are no longer together but I was understanding to his views on that.
My psych teacher asked the question, "your thoughts a first date" my answer, "should I pay?" -- she was a feminist and told me that I am a disgrace to the female population for ever expecting a man to pay. She gave me a C in that class lol smh. I swear she hated me.
My opinion: let him pay for the most part. Snacks at the movies is nice for you to pick up. There are a lot of over little gestures/purchases you can make in the relationship. If you really want to treat him however, perhaps plan a date for him - a night to show how much you appreciate him. Give the waitress your card before dinner so a bill never even comes. Just focus on him that night.
Good luck love!0