Is he a bit too jealous or am I overthinking?

I've been seeing this guy for the past 6 weeks now. We pretty much hang out several times a week and act like a couple whenever we go out (holding hands, kissing etc).

I've realised that he might be a bit insecure because of his past relationships (he mentioned at some point that he had been cheated on and that he doesn't believe a guy and a girl can be friends at all).

Two days ago, we went out to a bar and we started talking about what we 'were' in terms of where we stood in the relationship. He said I was his girlfriend, which made me happy.

Anyway, I got up to get some more drinks and the bartender started chatting me up a bit. He was pretty much just asking where I was from and that was it.

When I got back to the guy and sat down with the drinks, I told him the bartender was just being chatty. The guy then went on to say that he heard and that the bartender 'shouldn't be talking to my girlfriend. I need to have a word with him'.

On one of our other dates, I realised that he was a bit curious to find out whether my professor was a man or a woman, since I had given the person a goodbye gift.

Anyway, does it sound a bit like the guy I'm seeing is a tad jealous? I don't think that the convo with the bartender was that 'flirtacious'.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've said this plenty of times on here and in real life. He has to trust you in order to have a relationship with you. When you start dating someone you do not stop being who you are. You dont stop talking to other people and dump all your friends of the opposite sex just to make them happy. Thats garbage. If he is going to get his panties in a bunch every time you talk to a guy then thats going to be an issue. A bartender is supposed to be friendly, how else do they get tips? He is going to go from mildly insecure to psycho real fast if you let it. Either you sit him down and tell him you have to trust me, or you let him keep this up til you are fed up. Personally if he argues that its not you he doesn't trust, its them, which goes back to its you he doesn't trust, then that should be an indicator where he stands. I've been cheated on too, but I dont hold the people I date responsible for the sins of my past gfs. I do keep an eye out for red flags, but I dont jump at every opportunity to get upset for no reason.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think it's normal to be a bit jealous. It's not the same thing as distrusting you, it's about the guys. No guy likes other guys hitting on their SO, especially knowing what guys are like and how their minds are full of sex. If he had a problem with you he would have nagged you but instead he went to the bartender. in my opinion it's only an issue if it happens most of the time or he is blaming you.

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  • Like you said before, he is very insecure, but you need to put a stop on this... before it gets out of hand... jealousy runs in my families veins... i can get pretty jealous... but not the way he does... anyway... serious... u need to address the problem before it turns him into a monster and drives you away

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  • He's a jealous jackass. He will continue to cause problems for you unless you break up with him.

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