i have heard and seen so many people going on about how they would never date somebody with kids, but in all honesty if a male my age had kids and asked me out and i was attracted to him it wouldn't be a barrier at all. so whats the big deal?
Most Helpful Guy
It's quite different when the male has custody. So I'll explain a few points.
First off, if a girl has kids, the situation would need to at least be looked at. Many girls with kids are in really fucked up situations especially if it's in their lower 20's. 30's and up is less likely to be troublesome (but can still happen).
Plus if the girl has custody, she'll constantly need a sitter to date. Many girls are having kids and immediately dating instead of focusing on their kids. Many of them are actually just looking for a guy to "rescue" them. I personally have met a girl trying to do this. She was even getting abused in one and compromising the abuse she'd take from the guy just to live with him. So many guys seeing a girl having a kid are already worried about her intentions.
Plus many guys cannot deal with the thought of a girl who will be regularly seeing her ex in shared custody scenarios. Many guys do not feel comfortable with that.
In regards to custody. If the girl has custody, the guy can just assume she is careless, had a kid, maybe with a guy who disappeared, etc. It tends to be looked at as a sign of carelessness. But at the same time, if she loses custody, she'll flip out.
But if a guy doesn't have custody, he is just a check now. However, he can risk jail for missing payments and such. But a girl won't really have any idea about this and such. Now... if he has custody, a girl can look at him as some sort of "good guy" because he musta gotten stuck dating a really bad woman and the court saw how "great" of a guy he was.
I personally have had to rule out single moms altogether. I kept getting stuck talking to ones who would immediately rant about their exes, etc. The final straw was the drunk girl telling me how she was ridding pot out of her system so she can feel safe enough to tell the courts her ex is on weed so she can have full custody. She was drunk on the phone telling me this.0