My boyfriend/fiancé called me another girls name (ex) during cuddles?

So woke up this morning In the arms of my fiancé. We cuddled all might long it was lovely and we woke up this morning and I said "I love you" while we were not facing each other just spooning and he replied with we have something so special etc. and I replied yes we do I love you and kissed his arm and it went silent for about 4 seconds and he said "my lovely Samantha" which is his exs name!!! We have been together for a solid year and half. No on and off business. He apparently hasn't seen her since they split up 3 or so years ago. Which is really weird. When we talk about her or any exes. He always refers to this Samantha as voldemort haha. So why not this time? After this happened I froze for a while and so did he and then I was like waaaa? And he went on about it being a mistake but u went to bathroom and cried and then left for a while because I was so mad. Now I don't know what to think or say or do. ?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not gonna make light of how uncomfortable it must have been to be called
    another woman's name, while being in that romantic moment. However, the
    brain is a very complext thing. You said you cuddled all night long, right?
    Well, it could have been as simple as she was in a dream he had that night
    and so she was on his mind in the morning. Or, she just randomly popped in
    his head at that moment. Whatever the reason, it really does seem like a simple
    mistake. He apologized for it and he hasn't seen her in 3yrs. So, I don't think it's
    anything to be concerned about. I also think you should let it go altogether. Just
    because he's already embarrassed by it and bringing it up again will just make it
    worse. It happened and you can't change that. Now you just have to pretend like
    it didn't happen. If it does happen again, though. Then you should talk to him about it.
    Until then, let it go. Don't say anything. Just focus on what you two have and don't
    worry about a little slip of the tongue. He is with you after all. Good luck.

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What Guys Said 6

  • You have to understand there is no easy answer to this. A lot of things could have been happening in his mind so without talking to him all I can do is guess really. The best thing for you to do would be to sit down and talk with him (and listen). I mean it could have been he was dreaming about a special moment they shared while you were talking to him. You have to understand they were together so they shared special moments also (basically dont get mad they did). It could just as easy have been he had something happen that she cause which brought her into his mind (even out of angry). I have called someone I like a persons name i hate before because they were on my mind due to something they did. It didn't mean I had feelings for them it was just they were on my mind. So you see there are a lot of possible reasons he said her name and the only way you will ever know is to talk to him about it.

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  • No matter what anyone says, no matter what happens, your ex's will always in your head for ever. He was probably half asleep and his brain still in a slumber and that name is what fell down from the vending machine in his head. I am sure he feels terrible about it because he simply mis-spoke. I have been together with my wife for 16 years and once or twice a year I catch myself almost saying someone else's name. Honest mistake. I understand how you feel, but would you rather have him be with you calling her name, or him be with her calling your name?

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  • That means "samantha" is the one that got away... well all have one that got away, doesn't mean he is cheating or thinking of her... but she holds a spot you never will, but it doesn't mean he will leave you. They say love conquers all, go ahead, own his ass :)

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  • It's OK
    You have taken her place, created that same comfy feeling she did and soon her names, eye color, smell, voice will be fading away... I see this sign as progress and that you are in the passing lane, foot to the floor

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  • It's a tricky one. But it's more common than you think, but that sure doesn't make it okay. He probably knows by now that he messed up. How long was he with her? It is possible that in that moment he felt something he had only felt with her before, but that doesn't mean he's not over her. You sound like a decent person and you won't leave someone you plan to marry (fiancé) for an ex who cheated on you. You have to be confident that what you have together is irreplaceable. That's true love, that nothing from the past or the future can shake what you have built together. Give him the silent treatment for a while but don't leave him.

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  • he is not over her, but that doesn't mean he loves her

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    • He was with her for 2 years and she cheated on him and then he broke up with her and we met at Jin and he went on a slag rampage and slept around a lot to get over it I guess... How can he still not be over her? Was 2 years before we even met after his split with the ex!

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    • I spoke to him he denies even thinking about her I asked if he still loved her or missed her or if he dreamt about her or if the moment bought back memories... said no to everything.

    • then he is a lyer, even i still love my first girl and thats more than 30 years ago

What Girls Said 3

  • 'I, Ross, take thee Rachel... Emily'
    LOL!

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  • I know it's horrible, but it could be just an honest mistake. My boyfriend has slipped and said his ex's name once, and i've done the same. It was pure accident and didn't mean anything by it.

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  • That's so fucked up

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    • Yup exactly what I though

    • Thought* he cried saying he wasn't even thinking about her and it just slipped off his tongue?

    • If you guys were together as long as you said then I find that hard to believe. Maybe he was just thinking about her or had a dream or maybe he's cheating. You'll never know but don't regret the decisions you make. They all have consequences.

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