How do I ask him how he feels about deleting his online dating profile without telling him that I know he's still actively using it?

About a month ago I met a guy on an online dating site and very soon after deleted my account for reasons unrelated to him.

He and I however continued to text daily and have since gone out twice. Both dates were amazing, he was a complete gentleman and paid for everything. After the second date, I spent the night and we ended up sleeping together. Usually I do not sleep with someone so fresh into the relationship, I like to have a waiting period where I can get a feel for the guy. But things with him just felt so right and still do.

He hasn't let up on the texting, which I almost always let him text first. And he's already set up a third date with me for this coming weekend. He's expressed an interest in wanting to be in a relationship with me though we haven't formally talked about being exclusive, and in passing mentioned when I meet [his] parents. We have a lot in common and always have fun together. Both of us have acknowledged on several occasions how comfortable we are with each other and expressed a desire to commit to seeing where this could go.

Then last night out of curiosity, I did the dumb thing of googling his username for the dating site he was on, and up popped his profile. Since I did that he's logged on three times so I guess I could say he's still a very active user. I was thrown for a loop and kind of upset for a moment, but I guess that I wouldn't have googled it if I didn't think it was still up. I've been burned in the past and do not want to devote my time to a man who still keeping his options open.

Which brings me to my question.. Would it be too soon to bring up being exclusive? Or I was wondering if putting it this way would be more appropriate, "So I'm not seeing other people because I am most interested in seeing where this goes and I was wondering if you were on the same page with that?"


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You have been on TWO DATES.

    If you ask him about deleting his profile BEFORE you're even dating exclusively, that's going to be waving a huge, bold, red flag in his face that say "I'M FUCKING CRAZY".

    Do not do this. Of course he's "keeping his options open" - things with YOU haven't GONE anywhere yet.

    AFTER you've had the "exclusive" talk, if you see he's still actively using his profile, THEN you can bring it up.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'd be more aggressive. He is telling you how special you are but still saying something similar to the dating site contacts... I'd challenge him on that directly now that you 're sleeping together

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  • Honesty and communication are the corner stones of a lasting relationship. What you are thinking of saying is spot on.

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