How to escape the friendzone?

I would like to know how to escape the friendzone, as I have found myself in that situation as of last month. So, can anyone tell me, how to escape that situation? I don't care how long term the plan is, I am extremely patient and am willing to wait years to get what I want. So, any tips?

Updates:
Can no one answer my question? Look, I'm not looking for life advice or anything, I want a solution, giving up is the opposite of solving my problem.
Fine, I'm so sick of this cruel and unfair reality, I wish it would all burn!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Mate you just have to accept that if she doesn't want to be with you she doesn't want to be with you. You can't change her mind. If she sees you as a friend and nothing more for forever and eternity, that's pretty much it.

    If, however, she is unsure of whether she sees you as just a friend or thinks you could be more, you have a shot. You could try many techniques which are a bit morally wrong but will probably get results including getting drunk together and getting her to reveal her true feelings, don't be a dick and take advantage but you can often find that drunk people often do what they're too scared to when they're sober. Furthermore, you could get with another chick to make her jealous or just show yourself in a different light to her, show her that you are boyfriend material and that you can take care of her and stuff.

    You just need to prove that you're more worthwhile to her as a boyfriend than as a friend. Next time make a move before being shoved in the friendzone though, it's a bitch to get out of.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Here is my analogy of the friendzone:
    You go to apply for a job where you'd help clean the store. The boss said were sorry but we aren't going to hire you. Then you show up everyday and sweep the store for free, why should the boss pay you when they already said they didn't want you? Then you get jealous of the actual employees and make comments about how you would be better. The boss doesn't care because she's only having to pay one of the employees.
    So quit the job that you weren't even asked to do (stop hanging out with this girl).
    Also a lot of guys don't make their intentions clear from the get go so most girls assume that you are just being friendly and don't have any romantic interest in them.

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    • So there's no hope at all. Screw it, I'd rather die, if that's the case.

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    • Great analogy
      If you listen to this girl
      She will set you free

      Yes, that was a haiku.

    • That's great

  • Find someone who wants to date you. And be up front about wanting to date someone romantically.

    Don't be cryptic about your true intentions.

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    • I am so sick of all this "there is no hope" nonsense! If that's the case, I may as well jump off a bridge right now!

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    • I don't want to force anything, I just had feelings for her, though, I honestly wish she killed me or something, if she stabbed me in the heart metaphorically, she may as well have done it literally.

    • Get help, before you end up obsessing over her and killing her and yourself in a muder-suicide. Don't be anther statistic.

      1-800-273-TALK (8255) <-Suicide hotline prevention number. Use it and/or stop trolling.

  • You cant. The only person who can friend zone yourself is you. To get out of it, just accept it and be friends or move on.

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    • Moving on as in jumping in front of a car?

    • No, moving on as in accepting the fact that she currently isn't into you. It's not giving up, it's just moving on.

      You can wait around for her, but honestly you're going to make yourself feel worse over time. You just need to find some way to emotionally let her go.

  • you'll never escape the friendzone you embrace it.

    "Fine, I'm so sick of this cruel and unfair reality, I wish it would all burn!".
    images.dangerousminds.net/.../...lrvjvnb_thumb.jpg

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    • Have you ever thought that God is telling you that you should kill yourself?

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    • All my life, he's just been sprinkling little hints, bread crumbs. I wish I could go back in time and kill myself on the day I was born.

  • You can't. There's no such thing as "escaping" the "friend zone." She does not like you.
    All you can do is spare your own feelings, stop interacting with her completely and try to keep yourself busy so you can forget her

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    • Are there any meds I can take to suppress my thoughts/emotions, if that's the case.

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    • Then how do you "deal with it".

    • Keep yourself busy. Find new things to concentrate on. Realize that there's plenty of other girls and that this isn't the end of the world

  • Don't be what your friend needs you to be. Show them that you're not just another guy who she can friend zone. Be different. Act different. Portray yourself as an alpha male. If it still doesn't work then I guess it's her loss.

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  • Just tell her straight out that you like her? What have you got to loose if you're already in the friend zone. At least thats not giving up

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What Guys Said 5

  • I think you'd have to become a totally different or very different person to what you are now. That may happen as you grow up more, and learn a few things.
    If you hang around her for years while that's happening, it's likely to get you nowhere. She'll never forget her first impressions of you if you're there all the time, and any changes will be too slow for her to notice any sudden change in you. It's quite possible that you can never be what will attract her. It's also possible that her preferences will change, and even she won't always know exactly what attracts her.

    I think you'd be much better off to go your own way and do your own thing, and forget about her for a while. Being around her and feeling 2nd best isn't going to be good for your confidence level. Practice on other girls, and if you're not getting any interest within a few hours of face-to-face contact just move on. Don't stay and wear out your welcome.

    There are some things that always help, and that most women find attractive.

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  • By escape, do you mean "get her to like me?" Because that isn't going to happen if she isn't interested now. If it could happen, it's so unlikely that you'll almost certainly be wasting your time. Why would you wait years being desperate for one girl that isn't attracted to you? That's exactly the kind of behavior she isn't going to find attractive.

    If what you want is to just get away, you're on the right track. Tell her that you can't continue to hang out around her just as a friend, and that if she isn't interested, you'll have to move on. Ironically, that's the kind of self-value and determination that women in general find attractive. That's also the attitude you should have in any dating situation. If you are valuable enough that your time isn't to be wasted, then you're valuable enough for someone to want.

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    • After most of my answers, escape seems more like, "quick and painless suicide" by now. It doesn't even matter anymore, I've wanted to kill myself for a very long time, and now I don't have a reason to fight that urge anymore.

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    • But none of them are her. Besides, I don't want to make my parents worry of me, it's not worth it. All I really feel right now is a dull pain, I feel like I know what I have to do, but some part of me doesn't know how to do it/is fighting it.

    • I can literally 100% guarantee that your parents will feel worse if you commit suicide than if you confront them about it. I've talked with therapists before, and they generally say that it's the worst thing that can happen to a parent. It's even worse than if their child is murdered, because they feel like the suicide is their fault. They will be so much happier if they know they can still help you.

      Haven't you had a girl you crushed on before this one? Didn't she feel like the only one? But she isn't anymore. And one day this girl will feel like that too. By far the most important thing to know about dating is that there are plenty of fish in the sea.

  • You don't. You find someone who wants to be with you.

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    • That's not what I asked.

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    • There are multiple ways to approach and solve every problem, I could win if I had the right plan.

    • Suit yourself. I hope once you're bored of waiting the next few years, you remember this exchange.

  • you're dumb, I've been you. Hell, if I got friendzoned right now by a girl I really liked, I might still be you, I know what you're thinking. My question is who do you blame? yourself or her?

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    • I don't know, myself for not ending my life, her for not shoving me in front of a car, and God for letting me be born to begin with.

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    • No, but it'd make everything easier for both of us, me more than her.

    • How about instead of running from your issues you could become dead to her, as in delete her number, don't talk to her, don't look at her, cut off all communication, painful but very necessary for healing, and in a month or two, you'll be fine

  • Just keep trying man. You are close. ;-)

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