Just found out that he has a child!?

I met this guy from online dating. We really hit it off quickly. He's an amazing man that is educated, financially smart, and stable. It's still very new with him.. about 3 weeks talking. He already asked me what I thought about deleting our online dating profiles. So I've been thinking of him more.. I went back to view his profile which I haven't done since getting his first message.. I noticed that it says "do you have children?" and he answered yes.

I text him today asking about it and he does have a son. I'm not mad at him for not telling me since it was me who overlooked it in his profile. I told him that I thought it was odd that it hadn't already come up in convo and he said he felt that way too but he's been away at camp for a month. He hasn't told me much more only "I don't maintain anything with his mom"... He was with her for 9 years and he has been single for 3 years.

I like him but I wonder if this will have some affect on me and our potential future relationship. Anyone have any advice or personal experience with a similar situation? I am so confused. I don't know if I should continue dating him. If I was older or had a child of my own then maybe I would understand how to handle it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It takes a very special person with love and patience to take on a man or woman who has what is know as "baggage." The child or even children Always will come first, always be Number One Priority, and if you both find yourselves walking down the aisle one day, the kids are sure to follow...
    And of course, in the picture many times is an Ex who can be Controlling, make trouble, which Leads to not only "Problem child" problems, but "Ex Marks the Spot" as well. It can get quite frustrating, complicated and Cause strife in your own relationship.
    My sister married a man with 3 kids. His Ex had them living with her, which meant, He got the pleasure of picking them up every other weekend and bringing them to Their house. There was always a lot of Redrick, for the older they got, the more difficult in handling them and Any of their "Redrick" on a weekend. It was always something. And if you are Not the mother, they will take this into their own Cunning Consideration.
    Also to top the cake, was Not a very sweet Ex... She was More Toil and trouble than even the kids. It was like something from a Rocky Horror Picture show...
    And with This-----Came Child support. They never had any Extra money until the last one was gone. However, with his Good job, an Extra one and a few side jobs, they did okay. They are doing much better now...
    Being Yours has just One it shouldn't be as bad as my sister's Brady Bunch brew. However, he does have the 'Mom' in the picture, but That may not be as bad as all that. However, you will find out soon enough.
    If you want to Continue, think that you can have a handle on everything, then talk things out with him before Getting More in depth with this 'Amazing man.' He sounds as though he has It altogether, seems to Really care about you, and if you both put the effort and the time into Everything, I believe that This could be nurtured and nursed and come out to be what Old Mother Nature may have to sow, ready to be reaped.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Paris... that was really well said!! :))

    • Why, thank you, sweetie... I witnessed this with my Own sister for years, for there were many Visits, many encounters, and with The Ex it was always him running up to her place, even with another guy she was with, problems with the kids, cops involved, just a mess... However, my sister loved him enough to put up with it, and now to this day, they are still married, happy, and believe it or not, with her putting up with his Redrick, he has put up with her drinking, health problems and I think, as sad as this part is, have been one another's Enablers...:)) xx

What Guys Said 4

  • I wouldn't be worried about his ex. she will probably be a part of her son's life and thus you will (if you are with him long term) probably have to deal with her as someone who is parenting the child of your potential bf. but I wouldn't be worried about her as any sort of threat to your relationship

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  • I'd like some advice on this too hahaa.

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  • He is either an asshole, or he has been really hurt by the mother... and bringing it up is a sore spot to him?

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  • Do you picture yourself having a family? Kids? House? The whole nine yards?
    Then why not?

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What Girls Said 1

  • I dnt understand what you are confused about

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