Guy I'm dating feels bad that I'm not comfortable with lots of physical contact?

The guy I'm dating is really experienced and likes lots of physical contact with me.

I don't think what he likes is wrong or bad or abnormal even, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for it. I've never dated or had any kind of physical contact before with a guy.

We have been dating for roughly a month and we aren't sexually active or anything but we just kiss. He likes to touch my butt and stomach a lot.

He feels on my breasts too, usually through my shirt but he touched one of them under my bra a little when we were kissing. He touched lightly between my legs also.

Am I being weird for being a little uncomfortable with the breast under shirt and between the legs touching?

He knows I'm a virgin and that I won't have sex with him for a long time. He said he isn't trying to get me to have sex with him, but don't his actions suggest otherwise?

when I get a little awkward with him he told me he takes it personally because he thinks I don't feel comfortable with him and that I don't trust him.

He invests a lot of time in talking to me and spending time with me and I can tell he cares. I told him to take it easy with touching because I'm not used to it.

Am I being a prude or something? I'm not sure if I'm just awkward because everything is new to me or if it is weird for a guy to touch a girl like that after seeing her for a month. We aren't official even.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to find a slower guy. He likes girls who are more open with their sexuality. He's used to girls who are mature and can handle physical contact. You need someone less experienced who takes things slower. A month is a long time for a lot of guys who don't have your comfort issues, but not for others who are less secure with themselves.


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What Guys Said 5

  • You re deceived into believing that he cares.

    He does not.

    He has one thing on his mind: Deflowering you, penetrating you, and refusing to be a man and invest the time it takes to know if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

    Your instincts are telling you this... But your lonely, desperate, flattered heart is telling you to stay with him.

    If he cannot keep his hands off of you, after he is bored with you, what makes you think he will keep his hands off of other women?

    If you flat out tell him you are NOT going to sleep with him, he will prove my response true.

    He will leave you. He will leave you because your body was all he was ever after. He lied to you. Pick up the pieces of your heart and be glad you did not give this man the precious gift of your virginity, wasting it and squandering it on a man who does not respect you.

    And further, listen to your instincts. They were telling you this every second of every day you were around this guy.

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    • You are taking him at face value. Making out IS a precursor to sex. If you continue letting him feel you up he IS going to have sex with you and you are going to let him. That's what making out is- a precursor to sex. His interest is still there because you are allowing him to touch, pressure, and manipulate you into allowing him to go further and further.

      Don't be deceived. Sex is on his mind when he touches you. He is only biding his time. You will still be the same amount of hurt and taken advantage of if he gets you to have sex with him tomorrow or a month from now.

    • Tad Curious, for a male who is motivated by sexual desire and little else, this seems like anti- male BS. But if you would consider her heart, and the importance of her virginity, you would see what I am saying is right.

  • No, you are not being a prude. You are simply not ready to have sex and thus you are naturally uncomfortable with his advances when they reach a certain point. In your case, your reaction is normal. When you are ready for sex, though, your fear will likely turn into eagerness.

  • You are going to be comfortable with what you are going to be comfortable with. He does need to respect that, you also need to respect his sexual needs too and find some way to compromise if he really needs to. Not saying to just do it but keep it in mind. As far as being comfortable with you, yeah it's a big deal, to me at least. I'm heavily into BDSM so the trust of my partner is 1 of the 2 most important things, the other is I need to trust her to stop me when she needs too. If you don't feel comfortable with him touching you so much then tell him that and he needs to slow down. Make a compromise maybe? You can touch my bare butt but nothing else? Or do some non sexual touching, let him give you a full body massage, then you do the same. Trust me thats vary intament.

  • He's a guy! cut him some slack, i'm sure he is interested in you the same as you , just give it some time if he goes beyond red boundaries or if you feel uncomfortable all the time then take an action and tell him to stop & take it easy

  • Only one thing on his mind. Dump him. He doesn't have his priorities straight.


What Girls Said 1

  • it's normal to feel anxious about these things maybe you would feel more comfortable if he was actually your boyfriend. i do not like how he reacts. a good guy doesn't pull shit like that when you tell him to stop touching you. if a guy truly cares he will be your boyfriend and will not make you feel bad for freaking out about his advances

    • What should I do then? I really dont think he wants me just for sex because I told him I'm not putting out for a longgggg time and he's still treating me the same.

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    • He said he's seeing me exclusively and wants to be in a relationship after we both have more free time in a few months.

    • yeah i sniff a player