I am in Afghanistan?

I have a fiance back home but just recently she has told me she had sex with another guy about 2 years ago when we had a short breakup. Obviously she was not in the wrong but now I have in the back of my mind that she is gonna cheat on me while I am here. What are some waysI cannmake sure she stays with me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Brother, as a veteran let me first thank you for your service. Other than that, c'mon now, you are a active duty and I know you have heard, many times over, all about "Dear John" letters from relationships at home.

    You have to realize that statements of that magnitude made after such a long time period are rarely (if ever) done so out of the blue and always come attached with an overriding reasoning. My point is, you have to ask yourself why she decided to tell you now while you are in a warzone. To me, the answer is fairly clear and I truly suggest you look at the overall picture here and what would have led her to reveal such a thing at this exact moment.

    Regardless of what happens, you keep your head straight over there and focus on the job. Your life is more important than potential relationship issues even though they may feel like the end of the world. You keep your shit together.

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    • I agree, but that thing could be anything. She may have seen a friend keep something like that from her boyfriend and it ended the relationship later on, so she felt she had to tell you as soon as possible. Or something like that. It doesn't mean she is cheating now

    • True, very true. However, at the very least, it should raise red flags based on the timing and his current position. I should add I have never experienced cheating so this isn't coming from jaded position by any means but rather a logical one.

      Further, the fact they were not even together when it took place adds credence to my current thought process that she is, very likely, testing the reaction waters. We (people) do this when we want to compare one issue with another or another potentially similar issue to gauge how another will respond.

      I don't like it. At the very least it is selfish to say such a thing while he is engaged in an actual warzone where his life is, quite literally, on the line.

What Girls Said 4

  • She shouldn't have told you that while over there, she probably regrets that.

    But I don't think there is much you can do. She did that while you were broken up, she won't do it when you're together.
    Why do you think she would cheat anyways?
    You could bring up the topic when you talk to her, as in tell her that you heard a friend is being cheated on or something. But I think then you would overthink everything she did and didn't say

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  • There's really nothing you can do about it. There's no way you can make sure that she stays with you. Maybe just keep telling yourself that she did it when you weren't even together, and that it was 2 years ago.

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  • There's absolutely nothing you can do, if you can't trust her what do you really have?

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    • It isn't that I don't trust her its just there bothering me. I just want to be able to reassure myself.

    • It's a tough situation but it's really out of your control :(

  • wait are u afghan though and is she if u guys are she should follow the rules of tat religion oh yh and there may be a chance that she will cheat on u cos she already has.

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What Guys Said 3

  • A cheater rarely comes close to admitting anything they have done. The only reason she would want to tell you this is if she were truly feeling bad about it. Though it is very possible that she isn't in a good place at the moment, and is telling you to gain some sort of control over her feelings. The only way you can really make sure she stays with you is to give her reasons to stay. Step up your game on the romance side of things, make her feel like you are the only one she needs, regardless of the distance between you both.

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  • U can't because 99% she will not ! :)

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  • Why'd she tell you out of nowhere?

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    • We were on the subject and it came up and she had just kept it from me hoping it would go away because it was a mistake

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