How do I spare her feelings?

I don't know if this is weird or not, but, my girlfriend has been talking to me about marriage a lot lately. It hasn't always been like this, she just one day started talking about the topic. And then, she got onto the topic of having sex. And she's been talking about that topic ever since then, she never stopped. But, that's not what I'm having trouble with. What I'm having trouble with, is that she was very deeply hurt, when I told her I thought we should wait until marriage. And she wanted to talk with me about having sex in the near future, and I said I thought we should wait. We're both going into college, and I don't want want to screw up her future plans by getting her pregnant. (She plans on being a lawyer, so she'll be in college for a while) She wants to do this now, and I feel pressured. Now..., don't get me wrong, I'd love to have sex with her, but all the possible mistakes keep hanging over my head.

I just want her to enjoy life before settling down with me, but is that selfish? ): She thinks that I don't want to be with her, even after I try telling her. All she sees, is that I'm "rejecting" her, because I don't want to jump right into this. ):

I don't know what to say, or what to do. ):


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Its true that she's going to feel rejected its just the way it is when you say all this to, all she's going to hear is "he doesn't want to have sex with me, am i ugly?" There really is no way to break it to her so that she'll understand and honestly waiting till marriage is nice and there are other things you can do besides sex that won't get her pregnant like oral sex and foreplay. but if you really want her to enjoy her life, i'm going to be blatantly honest when i say there is no way she's not going to feel, alittle insecure , or rejected by it. there's just no way. She maybe able to see it from your point of view and all but it won't put all of those nasty feels of rejections to rest so if you want my advice, do it! lol there are plenty of ways to ensure she won't get pregnant such as birthcontrol and condoms. Both of which are offered to anyone that can't afford it thanks to the lovely wonderful planned parenthood programs.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Some people can't control themselves and need to have sex. Also there is no guarantee that she will choose to be a lawyer if she can get married before that. A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE FAKE AMBITIONS!!! people who say they want to be doctors or surgeons when they know they have no chance whatsoever of getting into med school simply because it makes them appear legitimate long enough to get a long term relationship before they abandon their original "goal"

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  • im assuming you are religious and she isnt? If that is the case, break up. Her interest is different and unless you both compromise it will lead to nothing good.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Can try oral sex or stuff like that. Condoms should prevent pregnancy too. She just wants to feel some love.

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  • If you're really just scared of getting her pregnant combine the pill and condoms.

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