I don't know how to tell her?

I am 26. She is 29. We have been talking for a month, and we've gone out a few times. I like her, and she feels the same way. I have an issue though. She wants to come over to spend the day curled up on the couch and watching movies. I love the idea. I would love to hold her in my arms all day. But I am also completely freaking out over it.
I have only been in 2 relationships in my life. Both of which were terrible, and only one involved a very small amount of intimacy. I've literally had sex 4 times. Now, I'm experiencing a large amount of anxiety over the fact that this girl wants to get closer, and I'm just not ready. We haven't discussed our past relationships. She has no idea that I'm incredibly inexperienced, and that the only relationships I have ever been in were extremely rocky to say the least. Its been over 3 years since the last time I even went on a date. I have since spent my time working very hard to develop my career and myself.

I like her and I don't want to scare her away, but I feel like she needs to know that I will need time for things to develop. What do i do? How do I tell her?

Updates:
I explained everything to her, and she replied by saying she wanted a guy that knows what he is doing in a relationship, and things have ended. Regardless, I thank you all for the advice as I will continue my search for the right girl.

0|0
6|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • Let her know pretty much word for word what you just said. The fact that you like her enough to be worried about this in itself will be enough to make her feel special and you opening up to her with these things will only increase that feeling. It's a lot better to be straight up with her so that she doesn't have any doubts/questions when it comes to where/what you guys are.

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • I would talk to her about what you are feeling. I know I would feel wonderful if you opened up to me about those thoughts and feelings because you are letting me into your heart and mind. It is not easy and makes a person feel vulnerable, but it is necessary. If you really like her, you had to build up communication and trust. If she cares about you as well, then she will work with you to make you feel comfortable and cared for, so your concerns end up dissipating.

    0|1
    0|0
  • First of all, please do not feel self-conscious or insecure about the way you feel, it is very reasonable. In my opinion you should express to her that you like her to much to ruin this blossoming relationship by going to fast. All women have their insecurities, and deep down all want a partner who is truly invested in the relationship, and cares enough to express his/her concerns. You seem to view intimacy as valuable, which is vary admirable, I hope she sees that. Good luck to you!

    0|0
    0|0
  • You don't have to have sex with her. You can just take it slow & enjoy her company. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just be honest with her, she will appreciate your honesty

    1|0
    0|0
  • I don't think she expects you to have a perfect past, just tell her and you'll feel better about exposing it.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 0

No guys shared opinions.

Loading...