Guys out there... I need your help?

I started using tinder 3wks ago. I started chating with some guys. But one in particular caught my attention. We seemed to like similar things and have similar values. He asked me out after 1wk. I agreed and we met last Sunday. We spent 5h just talking. First at the bar and then he drove to McDonald's so we could eat a nice ice cream (I told him how much I liked ice cream). Before the date ended he was telling me how much he was enjoying it and asking if we could meet again. I agreed.
For the second date, he wanted to show me his town and afterwards go to the cinema. So we met at his town last Thursday. He drove me around and told me about the historical buildings and stuff like that. Then we went to his place... where I had my favorite drink and candy waiting. We talked a bit and drove to the cinema. It was really fun with him. We really understand each other and often say the same thing at the same time.
After cinema we went to his place again. We watched a horror movie and we laughed a lot of each other jokes. He hugged me during the movie and we held hands. After saying to each other how odd it was to feel so comfortable with each other after such a short period. He then kissed me. I slept at his place because it was super late to go back home, but no sex. I told him I don't want to rush and he said this is to special for him so he will respect my will. We kissed before sleeping and we fell asleep hugging. During the night he kissed my arm. In the morning he smiled and said I am beautiful.
Then he drove me home. And I have the feeling he is now acting cold. He only writes to me if I write first. And he is really short in his answers.
I don't know what to think. This guy opened up to me and told me a lot about him. He said I am beautiful and that what we have is special. He treated me so nice and made me feel great. But now he is colder and he's back on tinder after 1wk not using it.
Was I played? I don't understand how someone could lie this much.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he spoke the truth. he's probably confused i this is going to work since he opened up so much right at the beggining, but mainly he's somewhat disapointed that you didn't have sex. He seems to really like you but you sort of turne him off when you said you didn't want to rush things. You two have an amazing conexion and were on the 2nd date. Seriously? he's probably thinking you're not attracted to him now. At least thats what I would think.

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    • I just didn't want to go too fast. I really like him and I was afraid to have sex already. But we kissed a lot... and things got hot. And I even told him he was making it hard for me. I thought you guys would respect more a woman that doesn't have sex this fast. Anyway... He has been quite active on tinder today. And not texting me. (I'm now away on holiday... for 2wks)

    • I would try to correct that. Besides what I said I see no other reason for him to act like this unless he's seeing more women than just you. Sorry

What Guys Said 5

  • Its pretty much obvious. He wanted sex. When you said you didn't want to rush things, he just didn't want to show his disappointment right away so he 'pretended' that he respects your decision. Later on, he realized that there would be no point in going any further with you if he didn't get easy sex, so he's now being cold to you hoping that you would move away from him yourself.

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  • Suggest the next date. You've already had two, pick a third and ask him if he's interested. If he says yes, and you have an enjoyable date, then you're on solid ground. Guy's can be confused by their emotions too. It sounds like he likes you, but isn't quite sure just what he's got yet. Give him a little push to help him see it. Wishing you all the best!!!

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    • I told him that when I return from my holiday (2wks), I will cook for him at my place.
      You think he is not a player?
      Today (my first holiday day... I'm not around his town) he has been really active on tinder.

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    • Thanks a lot. :-) I will wait a couple of days. And I will not contact him meanwhile, to give him some space. Then I will ask if he still wants the dinner or if something changed.

    • Hi. I asked him if everything was okay, because he was acting colder. At first he said he has been really busy and he wanted to give me all my space during my holiday. Later he said that the 2 wks I am away are actually good because things were going to fast and he needs the time for consolidation. Then he added that it was heavier than he guessed at first. :-(

  • He's disappointed that you guy's didn't have sex. I know that he said that he was cool with it but honestly what else was he going to say.

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    • Shouldn't you guys respect more a woman that is not that easy? I want to be girlfriend material...

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    • He probably doesn't care about sexual openness when considering if he respects a woman or not. But I'll tell you what, for him, not having sex with you probably makes him want you less. I wouldn't feel the same way but that's likely what he's feeling.

    • Going to disagree with you on this, Bro; sorry. It was two dates!!! If I'm really interested in a girl, I'll wait at least two months. Cat, if he really cares about you, he'll be more than willing to wait.

  • He probably only wanted sex and when you didn't give it to him he moved on.

    That or he's unsure of himself so it pushes him away from you.

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  • Whoa, people actually had a chat on there? That's amazing! That sort of thing hasn't ever happened to anyone I know on there before lol

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