I'm 30 and met a hot 51 year old guy - should I go for it?

I was out with friends at a bar a few days ago and met a really hot guy - it turned out he was 51! I was floored. Except for the gray in his hair, I would never have guessed he was over 40. Amazing body, youthful face, successful and killer personality. I gave him my number but I am nervous. My friends thought he seemed a little too smooth, like a seasoned player. He's divorced with 2 teenage kids. What do you think?

Updates:
Thanks for your great advice guys! I'm new to this site - nice to meet all of you:) xo

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No way. I resemble that. If I had the chance to go with a 30 yr. old girl it would probably just be for sex.
    A "seasoned player" at 50? I don't know Not too many late 40's early 50's worth the pursuit.
    I'm assuming you don't have kids? That's always a problem. In this case they may be older & on their own?
    I'd take it very slowly. When I was younger a female in your age range is not too (how do I say this) devastated if she gave it up to the wrong guy.
    Ask yourself What do you feel/how do you think about that?

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    • I am very drawn to him- he is very sexy. But I've thought about all the things you mentioned- he has a lot more baggage than I do. The chances of this becoming something real is slim, I'm aware of that. I just don't know if I should pursue it, otherwise I might fall for him and end up getting screwed. I take relationships seriously, I am not a casual kind of girl.

    • Only you knows what's best for you.
      Without knowing either of you I say NO.
      Even if it does work out, does it really?
      When your 40 & still able to run & jump he's 60 at 50 he's 70 do you want to take care of him?

What Guys Said 18

  • Proceed slowly and cautiously. Be especially aware of the drama just off to the side like dynamics with his teen kids, his ex-wife etc. He's probably done with kids - maybe he's had a vasectomy. His parents may still be living and they may become needy as they age. Know that you will have no power over how he deals with his kids. You may often feel that they and not you come first.

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  • Just know that you'll be his sugar baby, just kidding. If you really like him and he likes you, then why not? The only thing is that his kids might be resentful towards you. They'll think that you're with him for his money.

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    • Well it's the "sugar baby" thing I'm afraid of - I'm not into that, I don't care about money. Plus I don't want to be used for sex either. I don't want to get hurt here - he's very sexy and alluring, I can see myself getting sucked in.

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    • I have a feeling if you run away, you might regret it. He may genuinely like you. He may have asked you out because you're adventurous. You're new, and what he did previously hasn't worked. Don't be down on yourself; you are an attractive woman.

    • Aw thanks for that... You have a point, he could have easily hit on the super hot, model types but he didn't. Not that I'm totally chopped liver - lol- but maybe he actually likes me. Thanks for that perspective;)

  • We aren't going to know what you want, but I would just recommend, since you like him, to get to know him more if you're both interested. I don't see why age is a big deal if you both like each other. Obviously he likes that you are 21 years younger though.

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  • If you're attracted, go for it. You have nothing to lose by getting to know him better. If you're not compatible. So be it, and you go your separate ways.

    If he is a player that side will show. Sooner than later. So you kick him to the curb.

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  • Could be a player or
    just smoothed out from years of experience that being attractive amplifies

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    • My concern is that he just wants sex - how can I test him out, other than not give it to him - lol. Or should I just be honest and upfront with him now?

    • Well, he's used to more sex than you but wait until you come to that intersection before you flip on the red light... but always be in a position in potential sex scenarios to have an escape - run for it - plan in place in case he's used to running red lights

    • Sure you should be upfront now, you're holding all the cards - you have the power to decide yes or no when it comes to sex. But men DO at times lie to mislead us when it comes to sex, so do be upfront about what you want, see if you're on the same page. If he's wishy-washy, unreliable, and his talk doesn't match his walk, you'll know he's not in for the long haul.

  • Just play things safe. If you two get along that's all matters. Take things slow
    if you all just met

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  • Why not, if he is sincere. Just go slowly until you find out. There are plenty of older guys out there who are nice, look and feel a lot younger than you would think at their age and are not ready to grow old any time soon. I should know, I'm one of them! You can't even see any of the few gray hair that I do have.

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  • Leave him. If u r much more interested him, its ur choice. But one thing! can u take care of that teenagers, sex is not only important to u but also everything. Try to think on other side also. If he satisfies u one day let it be but he can't everyday. See the person's heart not the private part. Take care.

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  • Imagine yourself after 10-15 years, He is a 60-65 years old, right?

    I used to play Bingo with 50-60 guy, just to hit or hook up for the hot mama, lol. I have a co-worker, politician friends, compandre, brothers and mentors ranges from 50-60 Yrs. old and you know what, they're super horny. But all of them shared the same ideology "Hitting the young guns and got Nothing to loose"

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  • Dude is probably going to rock your world.

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  • Do you like him?

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    • Yes but he was very smooth, a little too smooth. Plus he is some big shot on Wall Street so that's a red flag. His lifestyle is a bit over my head, it intimidates me

    • Well, as someone with a "baby face" myself, I'm not that surprised that you were surprised. The problem with large age gaps is the difference in lifestyle, as you mention. I liked a woman 13 years younger than me, which I suspect was a large part of her rejection.

  • find a other man for your age

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  • My opinion would be 'yes' !

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  • When did guys above 50 become HAWT lol...

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    • Do you watch any movies? Hollywood has always been full of hot guys who are about 50.

    • Since im 20, im thinken about going for 10yr olds after reading this question hmm

  • Just for fun and nothing more, that would be ok. i'm not much into age restrictions to be honest. But like your friends said: 51 and two teenage kids... no good for a relationship.

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  • Guy I'm friends with, is recently divorced. We go to the same strip club together. He always has the girls on him because he's always buying them drinks. He never gets dances (no idea why) but he's charming and of course tips and buys drinks for them (like I said). I guess you could say he's a player. He's in his mid-40's. He's supposed to help me with my upcoming math class :)

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  • Be ready to fall in love

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  • how can you call a 50 year old man as a guy?

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What Girls Said 6

  • I'd kinda wonder why he's divorced, because divorcees usually have some emotional baggage to work out... I'd also wanna make sure he has a lot of attractive attributes besides his looks... as that may slip in a few years

    beyond that, i say, go for it! :)

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  • find someone closer to your age

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  • Well if you really like the guy and get along well you should go for it and see what happens, although id advise you to be really careful. It does seem a little strange that a 51 year old would be interested in someone 21 years younger. Although he could be a nice guy and it could work out. I think you should take it slow and get to know him more before jumping into anything serious. After all he does have teenage kids so he may come with some baggage :)

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  • no i wouldn't go for him, but if you like him that's your choice , and if you are happy with him, that counts more than my opinion

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  • if he has a good personality, it is okay to know him

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  • I would honestly go for it... but be o the lookout for that "smoothness*. have fun

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