We're not official so why does he act like it?

We both like each other and have agreed to not see other people. I asked to title us as "in a relationship" but he refused, saying he's too nervous right now because of certain reasons (and they're legitimate)
... but still, he takes me on dates, buys me little things, gave me his apartment key, and here's the big one --- he called me his girlfriend when texting a friend!

I don't understand what he is doing. I'm not asking him again about being official because I don't want to pressure him. Somebody please explain this enigma!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have to be honest I hate when people worry about being official. It's not even real. Imagine a world were no one spoke the same language each word had it's own meaning to each individual person. Fleegle may mean Cow to me but Fleegle means ocean to you. Now imagine that in this world people still dated. Now some people will obviously be a couple but since no one can communicate using words how would anyone know? You'd have to look at the way they act. He's holding her hand, they're playing with their baby together, he's waiting for her with the car because it's raining, they're kissing. Those are the things that signal that those to people are important to one another but how do you tell if they're "official" or "exclusive"? How do you tell just how important they are. The answer is we really don't know. That couple holding hands may not even be a couple they may just be best friends. That couple with a baby might just be a girl and her current boyfriend. The guy pulling the car up may just be her brother. The people kissing might have just met yesterday. The scary part is even with language this is exactly the world we live in. He can tell you it's official and let you here everything you want to hear but his words may not mean anything to him even though they mean everything to you. They're just words. If you really want to know how those couple I mentioned before know that they're a couple? They don't they just trust. They trust that the other person cares about them and that the other person knows that they also care. And that's what they focus on. They continue to keep the passion and intimacy alive in a relationship and they remain committed in hopes that the other person will also do so. That's all they can do. Those titles like boyfriend or in a relationship or official are just like Fleegle they really don't mean what we hope they mean they're just labels for things. So try not to focus on things like that and just hope for the best. Just be patient.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Ask him what number you are? If he says number 1 then there is a number 2 which will move into your position when you act out. To many guys the words "other people" is up for translation. Other people could mean future women.

    If you find out about another, his response is he never wanted to be in a relationship, you did.

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    • He was clear that he is not seeing/wants to see other women. Also, knowing his work life and personal life, he doesn't have time to hide another girl haha, for real.

  • He clearly feels it has reached a more official point than it was before. the question is do you want it to be?

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  • I think he wants it official and tells others it is, but doesn't want to tell you it is because of all the expectations and stuff that come with a relatonship- maybe he thinks it will suddenly become very serious, speed ahead or maybe he's not entirely sure he's ready to commit. They're very different things telling a friend vs the SO.

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What Girls Said 3

  • he likes u, but in case he meets another woman he REALLY wants to be with, like his dream girl, he can be out the door and u can't say anything bc u were never officially together... I'd keep my options open

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  • maybe he is confused or something

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