Why do people expect you to put them before God?

As a Christian I find it to be idiotic that people think I will put their needs before God.

I don't do anything sexual because I want to prove my faith to Him. That I care enough not to let my hormones and sexual desires be put before God.
It annoys me when people put pressure on their significant other to do intimate things the other person doesn't wanna do. Basically to me you're telling them, it's either God or I.
Which makes me vexed. That's not okay. You should respect your lovers religious beliefs.

Updates:
Also some people aren't even Christians. They just say they are.
Most of you guys only care about your own sexual pleasures. You know what I say to guys who acts name questions such as: God or I? Fuck you, I'm picking God. Like w do you think you are? Also heaven isn't even in the sky...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • well humans are selfish by nature. I applaud the ones that are able to remain in control and disciplined even against their own nature. sorry this is happening to you:P

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What Guys Said 10

  • i think at some point early on in your relationship you MUST establish the sexual expectations for the relationship. find out what the guy wants and clearly and definitively define what you want. If a guy pressures you after that all you need then say is that you've communicated your sexual desires or the limits of them and anything beyond that is a non-starter

    you don't need to make this about god as if this guy is trying to say that he is more important than god because that is not the situation. the guy is simply considering his personal desires and it really bares no reflection on your relationship with god

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    • Yeah he is! If I say, 'I don't want to do 'things' before marriage because of my religion.' He shouldn't ask twice. I could care less about his personal desires. I'm not a toy.

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    • did anyone suggest you are obligated to have sex with him? I don't think we did. I think we just said to not even care about his needs seems to me to be callous. I'm not saying have sex with him but you can't just be in a relationship where your needs (to not have sex and fulfill your desires to your faith) and your partner's needs (to have sex) are unmet. That's unhealthy relationship.

      I think you should just break up with your guy and find someone who's sexual boundaries, expectations, etc are in line with your own. And when you are getting into relationships, try to early on have a frank and candid discussion about your sexual expectations and the expectations of the guy so that you two can be on the same page. this will hopefully help avoid the frustrations you are experiencing now.

      but you should care about the desires and needs of your bf. you don't have to just give him everything he wants but you should care

    • You've claimed that you're not his sex toy but you've made him your relationship toy. It sounds like you don't entirely love him or you would care about his desires. If so, break up with him and date someone who's more religiously conservative like yourself. If he's not your problem then make him not your problem.

  • You know people put there faith in a lot of things. God being one of the biggest thing's people put there faith in. Sex is viewed as something to be respected and many who put there faith in god put faith in the though that if it's meant to happen god will see fit to put in to that persons life someone that will love them beyond anything. Witch is why many think that to wed is the path to take because if god put that person in there lives then to hold out for that moment is the right thing to do. Now not every one has to believe that and not everyone has to live that way, but if two people love each other regardless of religion they should respect each other enough to wait until they are both ready. Some people know that as truth and say well even though i'm not religious i respect my partner who is and because i love and respect them i will wait. That's the key really not necessarily believing in what your boyfriend or girlfriend believes in, but having respect enough for them and love enough that you respect their way of life. It's not about putting one in front of the other it's about respecting someones life choice weather they live that way for themselves regardless of religion or weather they live that way because of there faith in something greater than themselves. The choice to stay in a relationship where one has that view point is because you love that person and are willing to love him and or her regardless of that life choice and in doing so respect there choice in how they live. It is a persons choice to stay and love someone with different views; just as much as it is a persons choice to not stay with someone that has different views. It's about the love two people have for one another and weather it is strong enough to last to the point where the other is comfortable to have sex and for that matter to the point that you would live and raise a family and die with that person. Now that is what respect and love is all about.

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    • That being said if two people aren't religious they would still have to if they loved each other and respected each other have to wait till both are ready for sex.

    • Some people just like having sex and that's fine two they have respect for each other to the point that both know that they are just having sex, and that is there choice and that's fine to. just as much that it is about the respect and love that two people have it's also about choice because with out that choice of staying or leaving then we would not be able to respect or love anything because we wouldn't understand the details that go in to those choices we make as people. I hope my words have given you understanding of the issue and can help you with your own mental dilemma I wish you luck in life and with who ever you choose to be with.

  • Oh let's not get me started on religion.
    It is a good code to live by, but if you let it rule your life you WILL end up unhappy. That is all religion is. something that created and spread morals.
    You cannot let it rule your life like that, How does not doing what you would like to do prove devotion to god? How does, not eating a certain kind of meat prove to your "oh so loving" god that you are "worthy" of his love? How does you not having sexual encounters prove that you love god?

    Wouldn't prayer and believing in him be enough to prove your love? Or do you have to do as he commands? I don't know about you but if I had a girlfriend she wouldn't do everything I ask of her just to prove that she loves me. Tell me you love me, and I believe you. Now some things people do out of love, but that's different.

    In a relationship do you expect someone to stop doing something (like, a hobby, or talking to a friend of theirs) JUST because you say it's not okay?

    Religion is like a penis.
    It's okay to have one,
    Don't show it in public.
    The world does NOT revolve around it (unlike popular belief)
    and please, Do not shove it down anyone's throat unless they ask for it.

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    • I didn't even other to read. Religion doesn't control my life, it helps my life.

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    • I don't go shoving my religion down anyone's throat, but I'll be damned if I hide it like its something to be ashamed of. That attitude is why our country has fallen so hard. Secular society abandoned morals, and the fallout is tragic.

    • I find that I have very good morals. And i'm not religious at all.

      However, I agree with you on the fact that our society is beginning to fall apart due to lack of morals.

  • What religion are you? The Bible doesn't forbid women to have sex before marriage.
    A man could get in trouble for it, but only if he refused to pay the girl's parents the price they were asking for a virgin. The parents were even entitled to sell her into slavery, and it would be like stealing a slave.
    The man also had to offer to marry her, but she did not have to accept.

    There was never any sin on the girl's part, for having premarital sex.

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    • One, in the book of Dueteronomy, this is the punishment for raping a virgin, not premarital sex. Second, not engaging in premarital sex was a Jewish custom and culture which is fair different from faith or believing in God. Therefore there is no sin in it. -Devout Christian

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    • The Asker is an immature child who doesn't want to learn anything new, all she did was ask this question so she can look for people to agree with her.

      She's a little kid, let her go.

    • I agree Tractorbeam. And kambo, that was hilarious.

  • This is coming from a guy who was a Roman Catholic.

    You're really going to let other people control your opinions and your life?

    IF there is a greater entity out there, then he sure doesn't have any interest in humanity.

    You want to know what one of the most beautiful perfect moments in life is so far that I have experienced? It's when you and your partner are bound as one in love with your bodies naked and intertwined. Feeling the passion of love between both of you. I've never experienced a better emotional or physical feeling in my life than that.

    If that is indeed Gods creation, why are you listening to some preacher spurting out garbage telling you that you are to be subservient to your husband, no sex before marriage, and sex must only be for procreation.

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  • Most Americans these days don't really believe in God, and they certainly don't see a bit of premarital hanky panky as a sin. Today's guys are the same as always. They want to get laid and if you say no because God wants me to keep my v card they're probably going to jet. Especially at a young age.

    That said, at your age, it's entirely reasonable to abstain. The risks and potential costs of sex are gigantic and you don't have the resources to deal with em on your own. Dont sweat it.

    Short version: If you don't want any sex at all, it's best to not string guys along by letting them into a relationship and then rejecting their advances. If you know you're going to reject them, don't even start. . Just let em be, and you do your thing until you're ready to be with someone and when you do, there'll be no problems.

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    • I'm waiting until marriage. I'm not gonna do 'things' in a relationship with no big commitment. Dating is like you're not ready to get marred because you have problems.

    • Cool. You've got strong opinions and values. Your best bet is to seek like minded people and get hitched to one you like. Be advised though. Like minded people may be a challenge to find. You can be frustrated by that or just really appreciate the one you find when he turns up.

    • I guess.

  • Meh.

    As you live longer girl you begin to realize people see God the way they want to see him, he's a reflection of the person.

    In one person's eyes they see him as kind and gentle.

    In another they see their God as someone who tells them to blow up buildings with hijacked airplanes.

    You begin to realize believing in God has no affect on your integrity and morals as a human being, I've met monsters from both facets of humanity, be it religion or non-religious.

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    • This happens to not be true for very many people past and present.

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    • It cost to be the loss, and I'm pretty sure I'm mature. You think I'm inane or puerile because I think how I want to and I can take control over the situations I am?
      Fresh. You must be used to being around dumb girls. Because I'm not one of them.

  • Maybe you should find a religious significant other. Someone who shares your beliefs.

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  • Well it isn't nice that he makes you choose either you or "God". But let me ask this, why put god first?

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    • Because she believes in God. That is faith, something an atheist might not understand. :)

  • What's more important to you? Your partner and his happiness? Or a magic non existent man in the sky who will send you to hell if you don't do exactly what he says 😜?

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    • God never said that premarital sex is a sin. A man with his own opinions wrote that down on a manuscript and it happened to end up in the bible. The point is that a man said that, not God and for you to believe that makes you ignorant. The true God forgives, the unforgiving being you talk about is simply a creation of atheism.

What Girls Said 4

  • Well, if someone doesn't understand this about you, he's not the right person for you. As simple as that.

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  • If he doesn't respect your religion/beliefs then dump his ass! Like honestly. If he really did love you for you and not your body, he would WAIT. Personally, i wouldn't mind doing intimate things with my partner before marrige as i wouldn't like to let it rule my life. But hey! Everyones different. Find a guy that respects your descisions :)

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  • Well when I was still religious I would put most of my relationships before god because I thought, what if it turns out god didn't exist tomorrow I would have waisted my whole life and tons of important relationships just to follow something that my or may not exist. But you don't really have to listen to me I don't believe in god anymore so it doesn't matter how good of a person I am I'm still going to hell.

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  • Becuase god isn't real.

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