Would you date a guy that looks young for his age and not so masculine looking appearance-wise if you liked his personality?

I recently turned 21 and it seems like no girl has ever really been into me. I tried the whole online dating scene and didn't have luck. I hear the phrase "you're not my type" all too often. I am a social guy but just a little shy if that makes sense. I have actually made moves and asked girls out but they just never seem interested. Could I maybe be going for the wrong type of girls? I mean I don't set out for supermodels, I would say I like the girl next door type. I don't find smokers attractive and I'm not into overweight chicks either. I am mostly attracted to white, Asian or sometimes latino girls. I tend to like girls with a similar personsality as me that I find cute or pretty. I like girls that are into music and art and even video games. I'm also a huge nature fanatic and I love animals as well so that's a major plus. I have a few female friends (not that that is bad) but it's weird cause they often tend to show interest in my friends, but nothing has ever happened with me. I definitely don't come off as gay so I'm not really sure what's holding me back. I'm not so tall, I'm only 5'8" but I don't think that would be a dealbreaker.

K so this is me: http://imgur.com/a/PJli7

Could it be that I look too young, not masculine enough etc? I'm not really sure what girls look for in a guy appearance-wise since taste varies but they seem to like the masculine type a whole lot more than what I am. Gay guys have complimented me a lot online, but that doesn't help seeing as I'm straight, haha. As you can see in the pictures, my facial hair looks pretty shabby and it doesn't grow out well. I have actually shaved since and am sticking to clean shaven though I hear I look extremely young, like 15. Is that unattractive or offputting? I mean I don't think I'm ugly, but worry that chicks don't dig me for that reason.

Updates:
Also, it should be noted that I've never had a kiss or date, so I sort of feel unwanted because of this total lack of experience. Girls show a lot of interest in my friends, however. I am similar personality wise to them..

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There is so much more to dating than looks and you aren't ugly but I don't think you believe me because I've seen your photo in the past and rated it and you still think you are ugly. Have confidence - be a good person - keep yourself busy - always do something productive - focus on giving each person what they deserve - take care of others - take responsibility both for your happiness and that of other people - be conservative, prudent, responsible, kind, logical and formal at all times - you will get a girl.

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What Girls Said 26

  • I think you're very attractive! :) I would totally go out with you. However, remember this. It sucks, but when you aren't confident, people sense that. Both guys and girls find confidence very attractive. Cheer up! You're a good looking guy. I understand what it's like to not have had any experience. For the longest time my friends always had boyfriends, and I had never even had my first kiss before. But you just learn to love and accept yourself. Get out of your shell, ask a girl out or something. :)

    Romance will come to you, I promise.

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  • Personally to me I think your cute. Your not ugly but you do look young. Its not really a big thing that your a virgin because there are 40 year old who are and they are proud about it. If you think Girls don't like you because of your outward appearances then change it up. Try going to the gym and building some muscles (dont go overboard and look like bodybuilder) Just try to maybe get abs and more arm muscle and try a different haircut or shave your growing beard off. Try something different with your looks but don't go extreme to the point where you can't recognize yourself and try different clothes like this 25. media. tumblr. com/tumblr_m3j2tpPQFC1r1x6z6o1_500. jpg it fits your face and if you dont like that then try a look like this shechive. files. wordpress. com/2011/11/guy-fashion-8. jpg it makes you look sophisticated and sexy. It says im a gentleman I am confident sexy and smart.

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    • The problem is girls around MY age, like over 18 don't like me at all... This is so fucked up

    • I feel like since you already know what type of girl you like and you know your attractive but something is holding you back you should try changing your style up to make women attract to you. And there is probably a girl who likes you but haven't said anything

  • First of all, not all women are the same. Just because some women said you weren't their type, doesn't mean other women won't like you. I'd say go for different girls, I'm certain you can find someone. Physically, you are a nice looking guy, I'd imagine your biggest challenge is confidence. Women find confidence very attractive in a man, so if you can learn to be more comfortable with yourself, that will help you with women. Also there is nothing wrong with not having had any sexual experience. I'm personally a virgin, & I'm not ashamed of that. I'd advise you not to be feel ashamed either. Just work on your confidence & don't give up. And maybe go for nicer girls, & stay away from the girls who chase bad boys. Those women don't have good taste, & you shouldn't feel bad if they go for other guys. Good luck & I hope this helped.

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  • Hum I'm the same way but it doesn't bug me too much. I seriously control more than half of the reason why I'm single, never dated or have been kissed, sometimes I come off as intimidating to guys. I know this because months later once they already have someone... (*sigh*) they tell me this. At least I get truth from them then be told lies, also I seem to push people away when they get too close. I just need to work on being too scared to get hurt & just try to be happy instead of worrying about the 'what if's' in life.

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    • ok. But what about my looks? Could they be the problem?

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    • Hmm well I'm certainly not a badboy but I'm also not lame and/or obnoxious... so I don't know. You would say that My looks are noticable enough to get by as is? The only girls that I'm around are the one's I have similar interest to. Oh and also ones that I am introduced to of course. Maybe you haven't been asked out because you are really pretty and guys are shy?

    • Sounds like you're a pretty chill guy, it sounds typical but wait for the right girl to come by. She will appear when you least expect it, luckily right now I'm talking to a guy who I once crushed on in high school. Now were talking, just getting to know each other & we are having GREAT conversations. I hope you get similar news soon, don't get impatient, my friend. :) Thank you, perhaps but I rarely got straight answers from guys.

  • omg this is the 3rd time! haha...

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  • On physical appearance I can't actually see why you're not getting any girls! Are you a confident sort of person? Or quite shy? Maybe you're not putting yourself out there enough? It's hard to guess because I don't know anything about you other than what you look like!

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  • its normal... Don't worry. I feel the same way sometimes, I don't think I'm unattractive... I just haven't met the right guy... or so Ikeep telling myself. Eventually it happens... or so I've been told lol
    Keep your eyes and heart open, it'll be fine

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  • dude you look really nice... be more sensual (not a pervert).. follow me... i wanna have a chat with you

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  • Firstly, id say your pretty attractive. However I do qualify as 'young' (Im nearly 17) so you might not appreciate it as much. Okay I just looked through more of your pictures and you are quite gorgeous. Maybe your looking/hitting on the wrong type of girls. Try more down-to-earth looking girls. Im not saying lesser-attractive ones, just ones who look more approachable. Maybe ones who dont look as high-maintenance. A good way to judge whether girls find you attractive is when your walking by, try to notice whether girls look at you and check you out. Try smiling at girls as they walk past. If they smile back, there you go. Its a pretty good confidence boost too. On the brightside, you dont look like you haven't had many girls. Use that to your advantge. I wish you the best of luck :)

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  • You're actually very cute. Your eyes make you look adorable. My only suggestion would be to become clean-shaven. Young men always look good with no facial hair, and older guys look great with it. Just play up that cuteness. :)

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  • I honestly hate muscular men. It is really gross, I prefer a lean shape. The only thing is they have to be taller than myself (Which is NOT hard I am 5' 2") A lot of people say the type of men I like are flower boys which are slightly feminine ( I don't see them as feminine look up Kim Myungsoo or Cha Hakyeon). so it really depends on a womans type.

    Afternote - I really dislike facial hair and body hair in general... I would actually prefer they shave, even armpits and legs...

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  • You look fine to me! If you have a fun personality you should have no problem! There is a person for everyome. So the answer to your question is yes.

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  • Not at all. Girls tell guys when they have a crush so instead of going after the wrong girls wait for the right one to come to you :-)

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    • Well how come it hasn't happened already? I mean it's happened to literally all of my peers, multiple times. If it hasn't happened already then when will it? I've been hopeful for a LONG time but things are looking grim.

    • You're so young. Be patient good things take time. You have more important things to focus on at this stage in your life

  • It might be because you have that school boy , innocent look which I guess is what they meant by 'cute' . Girls your age might be looking for guys that look a little more mature.

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    • So what exactly can I do about this? I hate being alone and utterly undesired by girls my age. This really sucks so much.

    • Well, get rid of the bangs. Bangs ALWAYS make people look younger. I suggest you spike it up but also make it look a little messy. Don't shave , but ofcause don't let it grow out too long. Wear clothes that make you look older , like rolled up button ups ( course not like the working clothes typpe ) I alsothink just a simple V-neck form fitting tee and jeans would do. Smile less , lol. PPeople look younger when they smile too. If you must , smirk. Put a little mystery to your personality

  • It may be that you're just after the wrong type.. or maybe you become too much of a friend so u get friendzoned.

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    • Ok well as I mentioned in my post, I find a lot of different types attractive. Based on my looks, what might you think I would be limited to? Like what type? I definitely know how to show interest. I just feel unwanted by them. It's obvious if a girl likes a guy because I see it happen to my friends. It just never happened to me and I'm really depressed about it.

    • I'd say show confidence, and don't show you're sad about it. It's best you go after personality. Physical appearance is just skin deep. If it makes u feel better, I like a certain guy who's much like u, except he's only 5'3... I am 5,2.. see you' re even 5 inches taller than the guy I like.. I really like his personality, and he' s not bad looking either.. ;)

  • It's not uncommon for a guy at 21 to still be virg

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  • Nooo, I think you have it wrong. Idrc if this is wrong to say but I'm attracted to you. Maybe you're just looking in the wrong places 😊

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  • You're not ugly... at all. Maybe it's your personality? U just need to build up ur confidence. Fake it til u make it. Start telling yourself that u are attractive, smart, fun to be around, confident etc. Identify good things about yourself. Also, approach girls more.

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  • You're cute, but maybe you could try a different hairstyle? A neater, sharper looking one!

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  • I think you're cute but try looking clean shaven because that adds class and class is sexy. Girls know you can grow a beard, doesn't mean you have to do it

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    • I agree, although I am a fan of beards I think you'd look better clean shaven... with a nice comb over.

    • Thank you, anon. I actually cannot grow a beard for the life of me. I have since shaved. Those pics are as good as it gets, lol. So would you say I could actually look good, upsyndrome?

  • First of all, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at that age and you don't need validation from others. You first need to think of yourself as attractive. Guys and girls can definitely tell when guys are confident or when they're not. In my opinion, I'd rather take a guy who has a great personality over one that feels they aren't worth anything. I've seen plenty of guys who have had hot girlfriends and that is because of their amazing personality but they're not the best looking guy out there. I would say work on yourself first before thinking you need a girlfriend. Looks aren't the only things and be happy with yourself. Also stop looking for girls, just have fun and I think the time will come.

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    • I used to actually think I looked good my family members would even compare me to a younger looking keanu reeves and I felt confident in how I looked. Then I realized that all the girls I ever take a liking too never reciprocate. And then so many online just said I was really boring and unattractive lookiing and it killed my self esteem. If I knew that there were girls out there that were my age that liked my looks I definitely would not be as concerned, but it certainly feels weird being the only guy in my town that has never found somebody for any given time..

  • I think you look really good. If are age was closer. I've never had anyone yet either.

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    • Really? Thanks. I feel like the general consensus is that I look plain and average though. I just worry when I hear average cause it sounds like a nice way of saying you're not gross but also not at all handsome instead of actually looking normal and attractive.

    • Ya and your Welcome. I've been told that I look really good but I've always been alone.

  • Hey can I just say your smile made me melt a little? Though you are right - I'm not sexually attracted to you from first looking at you - though you are good looking enough for me to give you a chance and see if the sexual attraction comes... Plus you have big brown puppy dog eyes.. :3 Just wait it out - You'll find someone eventually, and I'm not just saying that - guys wouldn't even look at me from when I as 14-17 and now I constantly have guys telling me I'm beautiful and hot all the time. Plus us girls have this horrible habit of going for the wrong guys... Constantly. (: anyway good luck!

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    • Your comment made me terribly depressed. How can you say all of these nice things about me and at the same time have no sexual attraction? What holds me back? What makes you say that? I'm so lonely and I've honestly felt suicidal because of this. I feel like I will never find love and I just have a stupid involuntary celibate face that can never get a girl's attention.. Is there anything that I can do? Would jaw implants potentially help me?

    • Well what I mean by that is that I think you are adorable but my first thought isn't "I'd love to fuck him" like it is when I see some other guys. I didn't mean it in a bad way - I just meant I'd have to actually get to know you before the sexual attractions comes (I dated a guy who I was not sexually attracted to for a year because he was really sweet before the sexual attraction came). Don't even think about getting plastic surgery, it's not worth it - like I said you are cute and remember your smile melts me? :D I also think that it's more than just your looks holding you back - I know you said it's not your personality but maybe you seem less confident due to the fact you think that about yourself. Though working out a little would go a long way.. :3

  • Its not about look. Maybe it is the way u talk to girl. Be confident, dont be afraid of rejection, be funny and make the girl feel save and special. By the way, dont be scared by the really pretty girl. U might be surprised.

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  • You have over 700 views on your photo and yet you claim you never had a sexual experience... Just doesn't add up to me not to sound mean

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    • This link is kinda old. I've posted it a lot on other sites/forums like reddit and here a few times in different sections. I've become extremely concerned lately about this.

    • Your not that bad looking I find you attractive :)

  • It could be just you aiming for wrong type of girls. If you tried for them try to look for another type then.
    I personally would date a guy that looks my age or older. More masculine types.

    You look young but maybe 17/18 years old. Maybe the girls just don't like younger looking guys.

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    • ok, so you don't find me attractive either then?

    • and like I said I like a lot of different types of girls. Are cute ones just out of my leauge?

    • No , you look cute but I'm not into cute guys
      Just like how your into white/Asians and I'm not either.
      I am not sure about that as I have no idea how the girls you aim for look like.

What Guys Said 11

  • Don't consider someone "out of your league" if you haven't talked to them. For example, some people go to clubs frequently, others may only go once a year. If you're looking for a "cute girl," that's easy to find. To find the "nice personality"? You won't know that until you actually talk to them.

    Also consider where you're looking. You're probably better off finding one-night stands at a club or bar, but if you want a relationship with someone who shares your interests, you have to go where you have a better chance of finding people like that. I never liked clubs, so I didn't look for love in clubs.

    I was older than you when I lost my virginity, but I was very happy to lose it to someone I was comfortable with.

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  • i cannot and will not address the complex issues involved in your thought process.

    What i will say is that no matter how broad-based you think your disapproval rating is physically, every male has women out there who do not find him attractive. So maybe it's time you ditched the self-condemnation and had a little fun with it.

    Maybe a bunch of women have made you feel like they are 'out of your league' or some such shit. One thing that always attends that in a woman's thinking is the assumption that you want her. Their little egos just can't resist.

    First, just be cordial with them. In your brain train yourself to find them no more attractive than you do your mailman.

    Secondly, if you do become friends and/or classmates with some snooty ones, learn a few well-aimed barbs..."You know Kristen i don't mean to be rude, but you're gaining some weight 'back there'... i know a great gym."

    Guy you are way past the stage of doubting yourself to this level. And frankly at 21 your are likely in a lot of environments where this sort of shallowness prevails. Give it a year or two and maybe you'll find it a bit different.

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  • It's not your looks. Ugly guys still get chicks.
    Your problem lies somewhere else.

    Maybe your standards are too high.
    Maybe you're hanging out at the wrong places or with the wrong people.
    Maybe you still need to develop confidence and learn to be smooth/calm.
    Maybe you're coming off desperate or over-invested.

    I really can't say. But your looks have very little to do with it when you're with chicks. I can tell you right now a lot of chicks (very hot chicks) like men with a baby face.

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    • Hmm I just like regular cute girls. I would say I generally aim for a 7/10 cute and pretty but not a model. I know a 9 or 10 is clearly out of my leauge and I don't have the guts to ask one out anyways, haha. Is that too high?

    • No. I've seen some of the guys hot chicks have with them. They're rarely 9/10.

      Your standard of beauty is irrelevant. Men and women aren't paired up based on their level of physical beauty or a rating system.
      They're paired up based on sociological factors.

      I can already tell your problem is a major lack of understanding with the ACTUAL science of dating and pick-ups. (Not the bullshit stuff touted by "pick-up artists" that earns them a quick buck)

      It's a large subject, so if you want to message me and have it explained I might have a little time. Not gonna go into great deal but at least get you covered.

  • Probably is size and youthfulness. Gay guys are hitting on you because you're 'cute'. Cute will be a plus for you with girls, once you look like a cute MAN not a cute boy.

    Personally I can barely put on muscle, but if you're not lifting, start.

    And like I said last time, lose the bangs over forehead which is a young look.

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  • honestly bruh, if you starting lifting weights and put on a good 20 lbs of muscle i bet the girls will flock to you. and maybe style has something to do with it too so think about that.

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    • alrighty, thanks for the advice. I probably need to invest in some new clothes. My mom and grandma have supplied me with hollister and abercrombie clothes ever since high school and I feel like a tool wearing them but it's all I've got really. I have some other types of clothes too, though.

    • seriously though you're not a bad looking d00d. first actor that came to my mind was Keanu Reeves lol. just try enhancing your body in ways you haven't yet, such as weight lifting and maybe changing your hairstyle to something that is favored in this generation. like short on the sides and longer on the top and front and then style it with some hair products when you go out. you should be totally fine.

  • Well I'm not a gay guy or a young girl, but I don't think you're ugly. I'd say you're around average looking or possibly somewhat above average so like a 6 or 7. It's definitely not your looks that are holding you back but rather your frame of mind. If you think you're ugly, it'll probably show in your body language and the way you act. Start by smiling more and work from there.

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    • I'm pretty sure that no attractive girl would settle for a 6 when they can get any 7-9... What exactly holds me back from being slightly attractive, like a sold 7? You know, Decent... Could I be a 7 if I got a nose job down the line?

    • I think it's your insecurities which could be a real turn off for women and you should focus your energy on being happy about yourself. Just the way you replied shows it. It may have been partly the way I phrased it but even though I said you were a 6 or 7 you immediately categorized yourself as a 6. Also the fact that you think a girl who is 7-9 has to settle for you is a terrible way to put it. You're more than just our looks. Your personality and the way you carry yourself are an essential part of attracting women. You need to be confident in yourself. You're really not a bad looking guy. People have told you that but you seem to refuse to believe it. You need to work on improving yourself. Personality wise, would you date yourself? Why or why not?

  • you look pretty good (no homo). probably just been around the wrong girls. Get out more with friends. The more time you spent out in public, the higher the chance of finding a girl who you like, who likes you back !

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    • yea and as every1 else is saying, putting on a little muscle will definitely only make everything a little easier

  • get out of the fucking house

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    • OI do. That is why I find it so fucking bizzare that I never get any attention whatsoever. Even here most girls don't even reply... It is mostly just guys or really young under18 girls

    • all your pics in one place sends the wrong message (loner) plus you should never "look" for the girls you should just do what you love and then you will find her in your way without planning.
      i think you are attractive (i am not gay so i may be wrong) and if you dont feel like it perhaps you could ask a friend preferably female friend.

  • You're a good looking guy. Just be confident or try to build a little muscle mass

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  • everyone whats a hot gf or bf but the odds of you getting someone out of your league are very remote. you'll have to go for girls in your league.

    if that doesn't work just go fuck a hooker.

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    • How low should my standards be? Cute girls would not like me?

    • you look about average i guess so go for girls who are average in looks.

    • What keeps me average at best? How could I be slightly attractive, like a 7? Is at all possible? I mean would plastic surgery help? What's my setback? Average is pretty shitty...

  • You're gorgeous, maybe you're batting for the wrong team ;)

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    • Thanks, hahaha yeah sometimes I wish I was gay. A lot of guys seem to prefer my type than chicks.

    • Ahh this comment made me giggle. :)

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