HUGE ISSUE. Please help! I'm seeing my friends dad?

Me and my best friend are both just leaving college. I'm 18 next week and he's 18 now. His father is 47 and has been divorced from his mother for 18 months now. Neither me or him are out as gay.

One day, 6 months ago I went round to see if my friend was in but he wasn't, I asked his dad how he was and he invited me in for a drink. As we sat and chatted, he kissed me. Since then we've met up lots and I think I'm in love with him.

Despite the age difference, I love him and want to be with him but neither of us are openly gay and we wouldn't know how to tell my friend as he's quite manly and a little homophobic.

This might sound ridiculous but I need as much help as I can get please, help me!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Right...
    I'm speaking from experience here, ok?
    Stop seeing him. It could screw things up with not only your best friend, but it could mess up things with your family and other friends too. Find someone your own age.
    You might think you love him, but you probably just like the thrill of seeing him and the protection you get from seeing an older man. In the long run, it wouldn't work out. Trust me. Also, if you just tell your best friend that you're gay it would make things easier than telling him you're gay and you've been making out with his dad.
    If you decide to take my advice (which you probably won't, because really you need to experience it yourself), then find yourself a nice guy who's your age. And is not related to your friend in any way.

    Or, (and this is probably really wrong) are you attracted to your best friend in any way? Because you might only like his dad because he looks/acts like your best friend.
    Hope I helped.

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    • Thank you so much for this advice, you seem knowledgeable on the subject and I'll really take the advice on board, thank you x

What Girls Said 4

  • You have to be open with your friend because not only is it wrong that your lying to him but that its with his father. His father isn't right for that either because now he will be hurt but if you guys dont tell him and he finds out and trust he will because whats done in the dark always comes out in the light he will not only hate you but also his father and thats two relationships ruined.

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  • i don't mean to sound harsh but what your friend's father is doing sounds illegal. what is the age of consent where you live?

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    • I'm from the UK, it's 16

  • Wow... this just sounds like a touchy situation... this is where you will be making a decision that most people don't agree with.. but you have to do what you want to do

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  • I would NOT tell anyone. You are under 18 and that will go over bad. Wait til you're over 18 and pretend like it happened after the fact. Might not be the right advice but thats mine lol

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What Guys Said 3

  • He is 47, you are under 18.. This is pretty much pedophilia though. Anyway, you will have to tell your friend, no matter what. Otherwise you will have to talk to his dad about how you are going to tell him.

    In my opinion, I don't think this relationship is healthy at all. Not because you're gay, I don't care. But because of the age difference, and the problems in may bring. I would recommend still trying to search for someone your own age.

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    • It's not paedophilia though is it because that means pre-puberty and I'm nearly 18 I'm fairly sure I've passed puberty

    • Show All
    • Minimum of 5 years*

    • Anyway, do what you think is best, if you think you will be happy so be it. You asked for opinions, you got one. But at least tell your friend what you are doing with his dad, because he deserves to know.

  • What kind of help do you want? This relationship being exposed will cause turmoil in your life. Yet, you keep doing it.

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    • I need help of what to do because I love him so I don't want to go without him.

    • If I told you to stop seeing him, you'd argue with me. If I told you to keep seeing him, you'd not be sure of my response. I can't tell you what to do. You have to be aware of the consequences. His life and yours will likely be fucked up for a while.

  • You gotta let him put it in your butt.

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