Does race matter? dating wise?

I'm a black male, and i go to a university where the majority are white... I've always dated a white girl or an Asian girl, not that i was picky but mostly because of where i was raised... ever since i heard one white guy call my friend and I "nig*ers" at night, everything came crashing down, like i don't even have the confidence to approach girls (other race) at parties anymore, don't even like going to parties anymore because i think the white girls wouldn't be interested... how can I overcome this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It does matter for many, it does not matter for some. you do not have the right to say those who consider race in dating are wrong, you do not have the right to say those who do not consider race are wrong. you do not have the right to accuse one to racism, you do not have the right to consider the other open minded and accuse the other group to being close minded using the assumption, as there is free will and free choice and everyone chooses how he or she wants to live, whether wants to have other standards than love in dating and marriage or not, whether or not wants to follow traditions and the way of his fathers and culture, and whether or not want to accept you as an individual fit for him or her by any reason. you only care for your preference and those who happen to prefer you by any reason and leave the others who do not prefer you by any reason with their own preferences and free choice.

    done.

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What Girls Said 12

  • You can't take the words of others so personally. People are going to try to pull you down in life - that is a fact - but you have to ignore them and not let it bother you. I tried to be a christian and faced a lot of persecution and abuse by my parents who couldn't accept my christian beliefs. I was also bullied and picked on in school. A jewish police officer tried to frame me for murder out of his hatred for messianic jews. Now today I haven't changed one bit - I'm just as outspoken and confident as I was before the persecution started if not more confident. You have to learn not to base your self worth on what other people think of you but on how you personally feel about yourself. I don't usually date black guys because I used to to volunteer my poetry at a youth centre and all the black guys at that youth centre would bully me, pick on me and gossip about me behind my back out of hatred at me for using big words they didn't understand but if I saw a black guy who didn't fit that stereotype - he had a good professional career - was educated - was conservative - sacrificed himself for everything he believed in and valued - was good with children - dressed in suits and ties etc... I definitely would date him.

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  • That GUY is a moron. Why are you taking what he said about you and applying it to women? He's a douche- we aren't. And people who say whites are the best are moronic and perpetuating a damaging misconception.

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  • By not giving a fuck, seriously... Are you going to let one guy, that you probably don't even know the name of ruin your social life? Let it go and enjoy yourselves! That is truly the only way to spite those who are ignorant. Race only matters to people that have vacant space in their pea brains.

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  • dating your own kind is best. the end. and this is coming from a multiracial person..

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  • That guy was way out of line, and you shouldn't let it get to you, he is very rude and ignorant. You can approach any woman you want, no matter what race she is.

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  • that guy is being insensitive and rude , dont let what he said get u down. since u had dated a white/asian girl before u have no issues with girls from different racial groups

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  • Are you not attracted to black women?

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    • I was wondering when someone was gonna ask that.. I love black girls too, I love every race... its just the majority here at my school are white and only like 6% are black and most are taken... I only like girls mostly of their personality

    • Oh ok. I was wondering lol well... yeah. white girls are accepting if you're a certain kind of black man

  • don't let it get to you. just forget about it. it's not your problem. forget them.

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  • Nope. Personality is better then looks sometimes.

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  • Race hardly even crosses my mind when dating. I'm white and have a preference for black men and so do a lot of my friends.

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  • It does matter, I'm not attracted to all races

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  • Yes, for many people race does matter.
    This era of young folk are so delusionally optimistic about race and so many mixed people walking around that they lie to themselves about the fact that in the private thoughts of many people, they look down on them for their race. It's interesting when black guys exclusively date outside of their race, genuinely being dismissive of the women who share their race and their features, then get all defensive and sensitive when someone is racist towards them.

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    • I honestly feel like some black men deserve to be called n*ggers.

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    • Once again, I didn't say that; you did. Stop trying to put words in my mouth and make assumptions about what I think. It just makes you look stupid.

    • Black men are a special type of idiotic trash especially seeing as how many of their ancestors were lynched, dehumanized, and brutalized for them to be free yet a majority of them act like damn fools one way or another. If it's not brutalizing each other or not applying themselves then it's being so far up non-black female's asses that they sh*t on their own women. I don't feel sorry for some black men who get called that word.

What Guys Said 7

  • Individual tastes have varied and always will. As a whole, people in general probably prefer people who look more like them, nor do I think they can be faulted for what is intrinsic. But I've seen plenty of counterexamples.

    With any approach, there is always the possibility of rejection, but you can't win unless you play the game.

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  • Well patheticaly yes i would say, i really like tanned ladies but it just feels different aproaching for some reason? Why?

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  • Why would you let some DUDE get to you like that? Da hell?

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    • I've been asking myself the same thing...

    • So then don't get bent out of shape over what some shit head said. Keep doin yo thang playa.

  • tell me fucked that guy up right?

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    • he was driving, and my friend and I were walking back from wrestling practice.

  • Race is a dealbreaker for most. White is the best.

    Granted you're not someone of status or an athlete.

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    • I am an athlete, i'm an all state wrestler and also soccer... love white girls but that one person just got into my head.. everytime i go to the mall, when girls look at me and smile. i don't even have the balls to approach them anymore and i have a friend who comes to me for help with girls and now i can't even help him anymore cause i can't help myself

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    • Maybe I have an issue with the statement "whites are the best." When I see a POC say that how can I not think of internalized racism? In my opinion that was poorly worded. There's a difference between the statements "a strong preference for whites" and "whites being the best." Anyway, the asker seems like a great catch and he'll find a nice girl in no time!

    • To me, there is no difference between being "the best" and being #1 statistically.

  • If your a black or white male, y'all get all the girls. I'm half white/asian. They don't look at my white side, they see the other side and then the hate begins.

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  • if you dated white and Asian people and you are black clearly race isn't being that big of a factor to you

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    • No race doesn't matter to me but i was asking if majority of white girls didn't like black guys.

    • i meant that if you are black and you dated white and Asian people clearly being different races hasn't affected your ability to get dates so it must not be important to a lot of different races

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