Been with my boyfriend for 5 years but started liking someone else! desperately need quick advice!?

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. He's a lovely guy and the relationship has been mostly good. However I have been feeling differently the last 6 months or so. I don't really know what it is, my only guess is its a mixture of constant bickering and sly comments from both ends and getting a bit statement in the relationship. I started dating him when I was 16 so he is my first proper boyfriend. Anyway, I started liking someone and work and he likes me. The whole work place knows and I feel guilty but I have been messaging him online and some have been flirty. I admitted to him I liked him but told him I was in a relationship so couldn't and wouldn't do anything. Last night he messaged me saying again that he liked me and my boyfriend saw it. I admitted that he had told me he liked me and apologised for not telling him but didn't tell him I liked this guy back as I'm not sure if I properly do. I ended up telling him how I felt about the relationship and we broke up. This morning he's been calling me telling me he's not going to give up on me and he'll try harder, but I know it will eventually go back to being the same.

I feel awful for flirting with the other guy. I know it was wrong, I completely admit that but I know feel like I'm hurting both of them by being so indecisive. I don't know what I want and I don't want to make the wrong decision. I'm such a weak character and don't like upsetting people. Any advice on what I should do now? Or from what I've said can anyone work out what I'm feeling? I definitely can't! I would really appreciate sown advice! Thank you x


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just make sure you know that a relationship with the other guy might&will be COMPLETELY different to your "flirting" relationship, those always are exciting&fun. He might be a bad boyfriend, you'll find out in about half a year when the routine kicks in. I've been in the same spot, but it was just sort of a rave. A stable relationship means more, but for that you need to love your bf & try. If you don't feel like that being what you want, then even if it's going to be very hard to do, you should get the guy you like more. Anything else would be unfair towards your boyfriend. Or try kickstart your relationship again to see if it works better if you both work on it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • No one's perfect. You've spent a good part of the years where others are experimenting around and finding out about the other sex with one guy. Yet with time people change. If you love your BF definitely have a sit down and try sort out the bickering etc if you want to. But if not, don't be afraid to move on from a relationship if it reaches a close. Sometimes doors close so that others open. Just do the right thing and don't cheat.

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  • Date someone else.

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  • True love has a habit of coming back

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What Girls Said 2

  • I say first try to work things out with your boyfriend. Tell him that you feel unloved by him and need him to make an effort. Tell him you have been thinking of leaving but don't tell him about this other guy. It will just hurt him beyond words. Give it 6 months and honestly try with your man. If you still feel this way then leave him. Sometimes relationships get boring. Mine is so boring that I can tell you now how every single one of our dates go: movies at the mall with kfc or ice cream or both. See? Blah right? It might be that you guys just need some spice?

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  • In a relationship you must work together to solve problems like the bickering you were talking about. However that guy at work... Makes it seem like you lost the spark. If you love your boyfriend sort things out. And that other guy.. If you love him date him instead. However if your mixed between the two you need to make a decision. 1) choose boyfriend 2) choose work guy or 3) LIVE THE SINGLE LIFE FREE OF BOYS :D!!! Good luck to you ^_^

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