Is casual sex worth it, as a guy, I want to have sex but I want a relationship as well. Should I separate the two and chase both or focus only on one?

I am 19 and I'll be 20 soon, a virgin, and not very into the party or club lifestyle.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Basically what you need to know is this.

    Approach each sexual encounter under the basis you're going for. If it's just a hook up, make sure it's known or understood that it's emotionless sex and not to mean anything. There's a chance of catching feelings, but if you go in with that mindset you should be fine.

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    • That seems to be the predominant opinion that I need to keep emotions at bay but at the same time, I feel like I almost have to "deceive" the woman. But then again its not like these women would be nice-clean virgins so I am not taking anything from them. I have conflicts about it but ultimately I get nowhere. I feel like I'll end up just making decisions on the fly, I don't see a reason in getting emotionally attached to a woman who I am not having sex with though.

    • I think you feel the deceiving thing because society makes it look like girls only want relationship sex. There are girls who want casual sex big time. The older they get the more mature they tend to be about it. I notice a good amount of the women I've hooked up with have been older than me. Women in their 20's can still have that childish mentality about sex and act like their pureness is something to be celebrated.

What Girls Said 5

  • When it comes to sex/sexuality the only thing that matters is your comfort and that any sex you have is CONSENSUAL (meaning that YOU and the other person you have sex with AGREES to the act, before and during sex.) AND SAFE!

    If you don't want to have sex without a relationship, then you don't have to.
    If you want to have casual sex while looking for a relationship, then you can do that TOO.

    Life isn't so Linear you have choices.

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    • Its not relevant now but I may be in the future. I am always curious what the women I talk to want. I know so women like that casual sex, no consequences, approach. I can't see myself doing it, to be honest, but I know "a lot" of men my age do without any regrets. Are there really that many women out there who live that "no strings attached" lifestyle without any second thoughts?

    • There are all different types of people. To get to know individual people we have conversations with them and learn who they are as a person. Instead of guessing, we ask and observe. You're male, and you aren't interested in casual sex, so wouldn't that suggest that there are OTHER people male/female who have the same ideals as you?

  • I would like to meet a guy like you who actually wants a relationship, not just f... I believe I have interesting conversation and a pleasant personality, but 90% do not want to invest time, hang out and do things together. I love dancing & go clubbing once in a while but the type of guys I meet there are not worth it most of the time.

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  • I don't know if you want a woman's opinion but the closer you are to someone the better the sex.

    I say go for a relationship.

    Though if being a virgin really bothers you, you may want to get that sorted out first.

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    • Haha, yeah I am confused about whether or not its embarrassing. I mean if a girl, my age, told me she was a virgin, I would be impressed. Usually men aren't by choice, either "shyness" or "bad luck", I am not viewed positively. I have a bit of both but I am confused about what I want. I know I value a serious "mutually loving" relationship above all but women want someone financially stable and straightened out. So I feel that "hooking up" is something to do to gain more experience. Do women ever just have sex just to stop being virgins?

  • I believe sex while in a relationship is WAY………better than your other option

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  • no why risk an AIDS or an STD. Sex is better with someone you care about then just anyone.

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    • I mean I am not trying to play it completely "unsafe" but I plan on protecting myself and knowing people well enough before becoming sexually involved as I don't do clubs. But I could see a "no strings attached" situation being good as long as the woman knows where I am coming from.

What Guys Said 1

  • To me, casual sex is not worth it without the emotional attachment. Do you want sex or to make love? Sex is not worth it, as it is purely a physical connection and is just like shaking hands with a business associate when compared to a full body and soul experience with another person.

    For a brief visual film representing my opinion, you can watch Don Jon with Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

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