Is it a shame for men to be virgins?

I think of this and I want to say, "of course not". But it's deeply ingrained in our society that a lot of a man's value comes from the amount of women he's been with, or if he's been with any at all. It's pretty common to insult a guy by saying he's probably a virgin who lives in his mom's basement. Or something like "He's a loser who needs to get laid". And then of course there's the comedies like American Pie that have to do with "boys" coming of age by losing their virginity, which is seen as an embarrassing thing. What do you think? Is it truly a shame for a man to be a virgin?


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Most Helpful Girl

What Girls Said 3

  • I'm generally neutral about it. Depending on the reasons behind his virginity, I might be positive or negative about it. There's nothing bad about being a virgin, as well as there's nothing great about it. Neither for men nor for women. It all depends on the reasons.

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  • I don't think it is shameful at all. I think losing your virginity is a very personal thing and the only person that can make the decision on when is you. That being said while I respect a guy for his decision to wait, I personally would not want to date a guy that has never had sex before. Mainly because I feel like that puts a lot of emotional strain and responsibility on me.

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  • no it isn't

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What Guys Said 6

  • it sounds to me weird since prostitutes exist

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  • Well, I had a coworker, who thought it would be a shame if I died a virgin. This, despite him finding sex gross or something.

    Anyway, despite knowing I was interested in someone specific, he would continuously ask to set me up for one night stands, which I'd already explained to him disgust me.

    The real question is why is it anybody else's business?

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  • thats the stigma we have apparently

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  • Im 20 and am one myself. Im happy that im clean and didn't jump into the world of STD's and AIDS.

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    • That is a pretty nice benefit to it, yeah.

    • there's no bic deal with it unless u make it a bic deal out of it. Virginity is a precious gift that one can give to the luv of their life. Other than that, its up for y'all to decide.

    • I watched some pretty scary STD PSAs in the '80s. They may have lead to me losing my girlfriend back then. Good for not being promiscuous.

  • It doesn't matter how many he's been with it matters how much he can get

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  • I hate when women judge a man because he is a virgin. Many women think that a man is creepy if he hasn't lost his virginity by a certain age. Let me tell you something:

    I am 23 and I am still a virgin. It is 50% by choice and 50% because not by choice.

    Whenever I go out to meet women, the only ones that find me attractive are the average to big women.

    I like slim girls and fit girls. When I try to talk to them... no mater how funny I am, no matter how great my personality is, no matter how nice I am or how great I look, they tend to not give me the time of day.

    If I wanted to have sex, I could just turn the average to big women. But, I want a woman I am going to be happy with. I don't want to have sex just for having sex. So I will continue to try until I can have sex with a woman I am attracted to.

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