I'm possibly one of the most awkward girls ever.
I know most guys wouldn't be into a girl like me.
I'm very... odd. Just a kiss to me is a huge deal. If a guy tries to kiss me, I almost act... scared? I don't know.. it's a bit difficult to explain my reaction.
If a guy shows interest in me, or if I find a guy attractive... unlike most girls who would smile kindly and approach, I... avoid their gaze at all costs, and if spoken to, I'm very... standoff-ish. I probably do the exact opposite of what I should do. Unfortunately, this isn't something easily changed with me. I'm just awkward in general, and I'm not used to communicating with the opposite sex.
Is there any type of guy at all that would be attracted to this? I know most guys probably would give up before giving me a chance.
Most Helpful Guy
Okay, you have some issues, but at least you are aware of them and accept the truth of them - that's something a lot of girls like you can't do.
So, the next step is to limit yourself to emotionally mature guys, which probably means not the super attractive/popular guys, because those guys don't NEED to be emotionally mature - they're perfectly successful being immature and they know it.
Then, once you have a guy you like, you need to TELL HIM more-or-less what you wrote here: that you have trouble expressing yourself, that you are shy, and that you tend to send the wrong messages as a result, but that you actually DO like him, and would appreciate if he would take the initiative and work with you if you have trouble responding properly or are standoffish. If you can't tell him this in person, then write it down and get it to him somehow.
As you said, your behavior will run off guys who will assume by your actions that you aren't interested in him and don't want him around, UNLESS you make them understand that these actions are really the result of your shyness/social awkwardness. I understand that it might be scary to make yourself vulnerable like that, but it really will be necessary in order to move past that initial "break the ice/does she like me?" stage with anyone.
The good news is that as you get some dating/relationship experience under your belt, your social anxiety will ease a bit (maybe a lot, but at least a bit) and things will be easier for you.2