I'm moving 1,000 miles away to be with him... is it silly for me to at least daydream of a proposal before I move?

We're long distance and I'm moving 1,000 miles away to move in with him when I graduate in December. I'm 24, he'as 27 - so we're both adults here capable of making these kind of decisions. We've talked and we both want marriage/families, but he can't put a set date on when he'll propose, which is fine, I want to be surprised - but I've also made it crystal clear that I'm not gonna live with him for years on end and it take forever to get married. So basically I think he just wants us to get our stuff together - move in, job-wise, get on our feet and get established... and I'm sure the marriage thing will fall into place.

But a part of me just can't help but wish he'd propose before I move up there but I know it's not gonna happen :(

I'm moving my whole life there for him and I guess having that commitment established BEFORE I make the move would be nice... but I guess I'll go off of our talks that it'll probably end up happening... but a commitment before I move would be so much better... And I definitely don't want to pressure him into it and MAKE him propose before I move, I want him to want to do it on his own time. But kind of my own time too? As in not years down the road but within the next couple years? Or even the year I move in?

Ugh.

Can anyone else relate or tell me what they would do in my situation, girl or guy?

Updates:
Oh and additionally... we've been together for over a year now, and it'll be a year and a half when I graduate. And we both agree that we feel like we're more advanced than other couples who've been dating our amount of time.
I just wish he WANTED to propose before I moved. I got my hopes up I think... I'm ok with a couple years.. just not many years.. and I'm gonna have to get over my expectations I had before moving. :(

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What Guys Said 1

  • No guy in the right mind is going to propose over text, holy fuck that would be bad.
    I think you need to chill out a bit here because you sounds pretty crazy about it lol.
    K did you meet online?
    How many times have you seen each other irl and how long?
    You've been together for a year, thats pretty quick for marriage, especially if you aren't actively living together, thats when shit gets srsbsns.

    I personally am not as fond of marriage anymore, if I did it would probably be 4 years and living together for a long time.

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    • Dude... we see each other every couple months for a long time. OF COURSE he's not going to propose through text... how fucking dumb are you?

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    • I'm not going to argue with a low life like you. I don't have to prove myself to you or prove our relationship. Go fuck yourself.

    • You started it polly prissy pants, peace.

What Girls Said 1

  • I can understand.

    I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I've been wanting a ring since... December of the first year. That's two months into dating lol.

    I would certainly want a commitment before I up and moved cross country to be with him. But I also wouldn't expect one because if I were the guy in the situation I wouldn't want to propose to someone who I haven't spent a significant amount of time with (i. e., daily for a year+) because I wouldn't want to make a commitment and then have them turn into a nightmare to live with, ya know?

    My boyfriend has told me that the count is two years max for him to propose. It's all a financial and societal issue right now. We know we want to get married, we know we are going to get married, he has the money for the ring, but we're young, younger than you (21) and society frowns on getting married so young. And also, although he has the money for the ring (we picked one out) he ONLY has the money for the ring. If he bought it, he'd be broke. And that isn't good for buying things like food or paying college tuition lol.

    I can sympathize though. It drives me insane sometimes. It's like, that's who I want to be with - let's make it official, already!

    It doesn't help when literally all your friends are getting engaged and they've been dating their boyfriend/girlfriend for like a year and a half (no offense) and you've been with yours for three.

    Just have to accept that it's going to be a while and focus on building the base of your relationship to be as strong as possible, I guess.

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