GUYS, would you be interested in a girl like this?

Let's say you meet a girl and become friends with her. You are pretty compatible as you share a lot of similar interests. She also makes you laugh, smile, etc. Basically you feel comfortable around her and feel an attraction.

But then she confesses something to you as things start to get more serious - she actually used to be obese. She lost most of the weight but now she has loose/flabby skin in certain spots like her stomach and upper thighs. She plans to get surgery soon so she can feel better about herself, especially when naked and intimate with someone, but can't afford it yet.

I am looking for GUYS opinions especially because that girl is actually me. There is a guy I been friends with for awhile now and we seem to have a romantic interest. He knows nothing about my "fat/obese" past and how I have skin issues that I want to get fixed soon. But even though he has been the most amazing person to me ever, I am afraid he might get turned off the moment he finds out about this. :(

How would you GUYS be in this situation? Yay or nay?

(And if you must know, I went from 330lbs down to 170-75 lbs and I am 5'6" through just diet and exercise)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Congrats on the weight loss, that is genuinly impressive. I don't think most guys would mind, a guy with a good heart wouldn't anyway. It might be unattractive to have flabby skin for the moment, but if you have feelings for someone it's very easy to look past their imperfections. If he is right for you, he won't mind.

    Personally, I wouldn't really mind if I was in love with her. It definitely wouldn't be a dealbreaker. If she wanted to get surgery I'd support it but it wouldn't change anything between us.

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    • thank you for the honest words :)

What Guys Said 7

  • First of all, congratulations for losing your obesity! Personally, I'd recommend not telling him until after sex and see how he reacts. You have to remember any romantic encounter is like paradise, that's why there are an infinite amount of songs, movies, and stories written about it (Beauty and the Beast, Problem by Iggy, Romeo and Juliet, etc). Don't let a concern of your physical appearance ruin that psychological paradise. The risk isn't worth it. Another reason why not to tell him until after sex is because of a chilling reality fact: most people are not in control of their own destiny. It's not because humans are dumb or incapable, it's just many do not possess the will and/or knowledge on how to attain their goals. For example, most people want to be rich, however the moment you give them the work needed to achieve said goals they just won't do it. Now not all people are like this, but I'd argue a majority are. In other words, if you tell him before you have sex, he will not be able to come to a full conclusion. He may not even know what to decide! Therefore leave it as it is, and if he truly likes you he won't consider your appearance of major importance! Talk to him after!
    - Somerandomdude

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    • thank you!

      and i know it would be "ideal" not to say anything... but then again it would be painfully obvious when the clothes are off that i used to be fat. i think that might kill the mood because he would not be expecting that AT ALL. and then i worry that MAYBE he might get turned off and stop which would honestly kill me. :( at least if i tell him ahead of time, he knows, but i don't think i can be intimate with him until i go in for that surgery, which i hope to do very soon. ugh!

  • First off congratulations on your weight loss, it takes a lot of hard work and commitment to lose that much weight. I would say that if things are the way they are then you should have no problem telling him. But I'm saying this without seeing the extent of the 'damage', and how it currently looks like. I would however suggest continuing to lose weight, and then going in for surgery. If he is shallow he would leave you, if not then he'll stay.

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    • thank you! and oh yeah it has been a crazy journey but also one that has been rewarding.

      unfortunately i look in the mirror and hate what i see. like don't get me wrong, i rather be like this than obese again. but i don't think people realize what massive weight gain/loss does to you.

      i am actually happy at the weight i am. i know i am never going to be "thin" and i just want to fix my skin issues. it could be worse i guess, but i don't like the way i look when the clothes are off. i would be doing it for myself first because i want to feel even more confident. :)

  • First of all congratulations on losing that much weight, I wish I could lose like 20 pounds and I couldn't even do that yet you lost over 100 pounds. And yes guys would definitely be interested in you, a lot of them would admire you for losing that much weight. I'm sure the guy your seeing would not have a problem with it if you told him the truth.

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    • thank you for the kind words. :) believe me it was not easy! there are days where i do struggle, so i think it will always be a lifelong challenge, but now i know what i did wrong in the past and can stop myself before going down that horrible path again.

      i really do hope so. he has always been super kind to me but i guess i worry he might not be able to overlook my flabby stomach and thighs. not to say he is superficial, but i guess i realize that not everyone can overlook it i guess, even as i am making plans to fix some of it for myself so i can gain more confidence in myself when being intimate.

  • I wouldn't give a single shit. Honestly I'd be more disgusted by your desire to get surgery than any flabby skin you may have.

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    • thanks for commenting but out of curiosity why would you be disgusted by wanting to get surgery?

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    • i DO understand what you are trying to say. however having loose skin around my thighs and stomach leads to having to deal with bad stuff like rashes and the like if you really must know. THAT is embarrassing and a pain to deal with. and quite frankly if doing the surgery makes ME feel better, then that should be what counts most, right?

    • Why are you trying to convince me, you know you can't.

  • Yeah I would be interested in her

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    • thank you for the feedback :)

  • It wouldn't bother me. By the way, congrats on the weight loss.

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    • thank you. a lot of hard work but well worth it :)

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    • you can do it! even making small changes can have big results at the end.

  • i would be impressed by your ability to lose so much, and no the extra flab wouldn't bother me

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    • thank you for the honest opinion :)

    • Your welcome

What Girls Said 3

  • Yes you will find someone someday be patient :)

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    • well that really doesn't answer anything for me, but thanks for commenting anyway!

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    • You mentioned weight loss - why not try that further.

    • Obviously you did not read anything I said.

  • I know you want guys opinions but I just wanted to say congrats. I admire anyone who works that hard.

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    • thank you, i appreciate it! :)

  • Wow congrats girl!

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