He's a Med student and I want to be understanding... I just don't know how to tell where the line is?

I met a med student through my job, I am in grad school. Went on a few great dates! Said all the right things, trustworthy, honest, wants to see where it goes etc.

Yesterday around 2pm he told me he would get back soon, to me to confirm our plans for today. He didn't. But, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I also gave him an out about today saying if he had to study I'd understand. Today I sent him our regular good morning text (knew he was working again). He sent like 8 back about being sorry, telling me he feel asleep. Promising me that he still wanted to hang out today after he worked still and he'd call me at noon.

He still hasn't called. He was supposed to get off at two. I realize that the hospital can be crazy, he doesn't have control, and I also know he's dead tired. This guy promised me he would be honest with me, says he's had problems with ex's because of being a med student and I swore I'd try to be understanding.

Where is the line? like I cooked, cleaned, did some work while I was waiting, so its not like my world stopped waiting for him. If at any time, he doesn't think this will work, he could tell me, its okay! I just don't know how understanding I should be in this situation? (He's in a busy rotation)

Just as a side note, right before we met I was casually dating another med student leaving in 5 months, who was 100% honest about not wanting a relationship. It was fun, stress free etc. I am avoiding spending time with him, because of this other guy (they know each other, but indirectly). I just want to know where the line is, because I don't date two guys at once, (can't handle it lol). I want the first guy... but are these signs he doesn't want me? He swore to me he wouldn't date other girls, I am confused. How should I proceed?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You said it yourself, you are well aware of his busy schedule and thus willing to compromise to be with him. So, by the process of elimination, the problem is, apparently, itself is his word, or the lack there of. He failed to keep his promise and his word with you. Regardless of whether it was intentionally done or not.

    And to make matters worse, he failed to communicate his change of plans to you, even though he knew you were waiting for him. Even if he was hypothetically exhausted which prevented him from making the date, he should have contacted you, at least, to inform you. Therefor, in my book, his inconsideration of your time does not bode well for a successful, future relationship. That is, if he does not contact you shortly and offer a satisfactory explanation and a apology and if he rarely happens again.

    "Where to draw the line?" If you cannot trust someone and/or if such a person consistently lets you down, then there lies the line.

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