Would this be a deal breaker for you while searching for a potential partner?

I saw someone post that they would never want to be with someone who's parents aren't married. I thought it was interesting. Even if this person was an awesome match, if the parents aren't together he still wouldn't go for her.

So what do you think? Is that a deal breaker for you? Do you think it should be a deal breaker for anyone?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's highly judgmental as the decisions a person's parents make have nothing to do with the actual person. I decide if a person is relationship material based on their own decisions and values.

    One reason I've heard people say this though is that they think that the person will end up like his or her parents. So if the parents were adulterous and had a bad marriage then they think their children were. But to say this is unfair, because its judging someone on something that's entirely out of there control.

    Now I am not saying that observing how a person's parents are doesn't tell you anything but it would not be a "deal breaker" for me by any means.

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What Guys Said 11

  • It is an interesting one. All my deal breakers are more directly on the person rather things they can't control like their parents being married. But to each it's own.

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  • I understand where the person that said that is coming from, but I wouldn't let that affect whether or not I pursued a girl.

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    • Yeah, it's weird. I've actually seen stories wher one of the couple's parent's were divorced, but they themselves were together for a long time. Guess it really CAN be just compatibility, and maybe learning from the parent's mistakes if they're smart.

  • Parents no longer being married is not a deal breaker for me. Smoking, large tattoos, not dressing feminine (ever), those are my deal breakers.

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    • Awh come on man, I get smoking but large tattoos, you don't like a girl with a little "freak" in her, LOL?

    • It's not feminine. They were born beautiful, why mess it up?
      I know girls feel they have to get ink so I can handle it if it's small. And not on her chest.

  • My parents are married, but that sounds like a pretty dumb reason not to go for someone. You can't help how your parents are.

    The only possible reason I could think of for someone making this a deal breaker is that the person without married parents grew up without good role models for committed relationships, so maybe they think they would have a similar outcome.

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  • What if the parents were still together, but had never gotten married.
    I know cases like that.

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  • Interesting. Well, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, I guess. My parents aren't married though, and I'm a staunch advocate of monogamy and celibacy until marriage because I've seen the negative effects of promiscuity.

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  • that doesn't matter to me

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  • Haha no that's nonsense. Parents would not be an influence whether I like someone or not.

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    • It does apparently increase your divorce risk, if you marry that person.

    • Why? Because divorce is more into her head? Haha

    • Who knows why, but statistically it does happen that way.
      If her close relatives have been divorced, it's more likely.

  • Couldn't care less even if I tried.

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  • my parents are married

    im not a bastard child wooohooo

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  • Funny how many ridiculous deal breakers people have. No wonder so many people are single.

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    • I thought I was the only person that thought that. LOL. Then you hear 'em complaining because they are single.

What Girls Said 10

  • That actually is pretty dumb but I got one better - someone told my mom that because the girls father has died - it makes her an orphan so her son would not want to date her or marry her and she would not accept her either, my mom just looked at her and said so, just because my husband died my child is an orphan... hey, some people are pretty ridiculous out there and the best thing you can do is keep your head up...

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  • That is crazy! who cares about the parents, we are dating each other not my parents. But good luck with that. 50% of people get divorced so it will be kind of hard to find someone who does not have divorced parents. And even if they aren't divorced that doesn't mean they are happy and healthy in regards to their relationship.

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  • It shouldn't really matter about the parents, if you really like the person something like that wouldn't change your mind :)

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  • why would anyone care about a potential partners parents relationship? that guy sounds super small minded... or like a mommas boy who's mother brainwashed him with stupidity.

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  • Not a deal breaker for me but I can understand why it would be for some. Not having both parents equally involved can create emotional issues within a person.

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    • Not really. I think it depends... what if one or both parents were abusive?

    • Um yes it CAN meaning, POSSIBLY. Not in every case, obviously.. For me, not having my father really affected me as a young girl.

    • Ugh actually I should've said "can possibly" I see what you're saying. My bad

  • defiantly not! That is the craziest thing I have herd. I think it is a ridiculous reason to not be with someone!

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  • Considering that 50% of marriages end in divorce within the first two years, your chances of finding a guy with married parents is quite slim.

    Personally my parents are married, but I don't expect to find that often.

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  • That's... insane. I don't even see the reasoning behind it?

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  • Personally, it is not an issue for me. Aslong as you both love each other and know how to respect. What matters to me is the person I would spend my life in the future. I know family is part of it but the decision is still between both of you.

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  • I've had people judge me because of my dads suicide. I don't talk about it much, but it does come up sometimes in conversation. I was dating a guy that I got along with really well. We connected, and we had the same life goals. I actually thought he was the one. We discussed our families the one evening, and he brought up his parents divorce. So I brought up my dads suicide. He dumped me because of that.

    I'm a very happy go lucky person. I don't let things get to me. The only time I can think of that I went through a really sad time besides when my dad died (I was only six and I don't remember it too well) was in grade nine. All of my friends ditched me a few months into grade nine because I was a shy girl, and they felt I was holding them back. I soon found new friends though, and I learned to open up to people. I have never had suicidal thoughts though. I never would kill myself. I don't want to put my mother and sister through another suicide.

    I understand what it's like to be judged. He wasn't the first guy, and he probably won't be the last. However, I don't see why I should keep it secret if it comes up. I think it would be worse to lie about it if someone asks how he died. However, a lot of people are probably always going to think I am going to be suicidal just because he was. Suicide can run in families.

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    • Aw man what a dick! I'm sorry that you had to go through that and I'm sorry about your dad.

    • Thanks. I'm hoping someday I will find a guy who is open minded about it. It's why divorce would never be a deal breaker for me. I understand what it's like to be judged for something your parents did.

    • Yeah I hear ya. Good luck, lovely!

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