Is dating frequently just a waste of money from a guy's standpoint?

Ok, so lately I've been meeting a lot of girls and going on dates frequently. None of which has sparked anything substantial. So, I was talking to my dad about saving money, and he said I should stop going on so many dates because it's a waste of money and hasn't led to anything thus far. He then said that "most of the girls probably don't like you anyway. They just tolerate you to get a free meal." We keep it real in my family (or at least give our honest opinions lol).

So, I want to pose a question to the ladies. Would you go out on a date with a guy that you don't particularly care for just to get a free meal, or whatever else the case may entail? Be honest. This is a judgement free zone. I just want to obtain a small sample study. haha. Fellas can chime in on your thoughts too. Thanks in advance.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, no. I find first dates awkward enough as it is, so I'm not going to sit through one with a guy I'm not into. But I have friends who would go on a date, not necessarily for a free meal, with a guy they don't see it going anywhere with. Maybe they like the attention, or just are better at giving people a chance than me... Who knows.

    The solution may not be dating less, just dating differently. There are plenty of much more cost-efficient dates you could go on, especially for a first date when you don't know if they're really that interested.

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    • Yea, that's true. I've been frequenting coffee shops lately. And I don't even like coffee. But it's cheap and offers a chill environment. Haha

    • You don't even like coffee. Lmbo

What Girls Said 14

  • No, I've got my own shit. I have known of women and men for that matter who do that. Though usually they were down on their luck/desperate. That was during high school/college years though. I haven't encountered this much as adult.

    I'd prefer to avoid people that I don't care for and whom I have no interested. I can feed myself and provide my own entertainment.

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    • Independent woman!! Nice. "Provide my own entertainment." I say that a lot too. haha. Thanks for your answer!

    • No priblem. And as other posters. Have said you don't need to spend money on a date. Plenty of free things to do that don't revolve around food.

  • I think it is a waste of money for guys to take girls on dates lol & I am a girl.
    Last date I went on, I recommended just going to sunset at the park because we are young adults, no one my age (in their 20's) at least not many people, have the ability to splurge - everyone has financial priorities.

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    • Once a connection is clear - after a date or maybe two to a place affordable or free - then you can feel inclined to get more traditional in places to take your woman. Besides, males are not required to pay for everything. I would say 8 out of 10 women would offer to split a bill.

    • Yea, I'd say more like 6/10. But I've heard girls say that if a guy let them split the bill they'd never date him again. But that's another subject. Lol

    • I can agree with 6/10 & lol that sounds pretty shallow to me - I would die laughing if my girl friend ever told me that was the reason behind it not working with a potentially great guy. To each their own though, right?

  • I do not do that to guys. First because I think it is inappropriate and second because I would be mad if a guy did that to me. When I dont like someone it takes a lot for me to sit through a whole meal with him. I may get turned off during the meal and end things after that. But If I chose to have dinner with you its because I saw potential.

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  • I have a hard time believing anyone would manipulate feelings based on the prospect of a free steak or whatever. But I have zero doubt that many women go on dates with men they have no intention of pursuing further because they enjoy the attention, they are bored, are hoping to jumpstart a spark that they already know is just never going to be there, etc. Long story short, I agree with the others that say instead of becoming a monk, become more inventive and frugal with your first date ideas. Any woman worth a damn won't care if you took her to a fancy restaurant or if you bought a $1 ice cream cone and walked through the park. Just my two cents.

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    • That's true. I've thought about that before. If a women is concerned about where we're going on a date, then I she's not the type of girl I want anyway. Thanks for your answer.

    • It may not be common - in fact I doubt it is - to just use men for dinner. But it happens. A woman in my city got busted for having a blog describing doing exactly this. She had a 'hit list' of 50 high end restaurants she was trying to go to that were out of her price range.

    • Wow. What goes around, comes around though. She'll end up really liking a guy, but to him, she'll just be another woman on his "hit list." Then justice will have been served. lol

  • Most girls aren't in for the free meal, most girls go on dates to the one. As someone who went on a lot of dates without anything resulting out of them, I don't think they're fun. I can afford my own meals and a lot of them were just weird and awkward. Nothing I'm really keen on. Granted, I also didn't pay for them, though I did offer.

    If you want to safe money it doesn't have to be a three course dinner. Just go far a walk, maybe get ice cream or have a pick nick. A lot of museums are free too, I don't know where you live but a friend of mine used to work in london a guy took her on a date to the natural history museum. Rent a boat somewhere and have picknick on the lake or river, they come cheap.

    Just a coffee or so should be fine for the first date, make the second a bit longer and for the third she should be comfortable going to her or your place. So offer to make her dinner, watch your or her favorite movie. Once you get more comfortable swimming is good. It's free in nature and even in most pools it's quite cheap.

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  • Yes...
    I mean... yes.
    Also, a freaking waste of everyone's time.

    You should just get to know each other as friends and THEN decide if you would be compatible - from this build a relationship...
    Dating is pointless.

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    • Tis true. I'll try to take that approach from now on. Save myself time, money, and confusion. Thanks Little Sally :)

    • No problem Phil4Real. ^_^

  • You know, you don't have to spend a lot, or even ANY money to go on a date. A sweet walk downtown or at the park is fine. But if he wants to spend money then go for it lol.

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  • Honestly yes, you don't have to take her out on fancy dates. Go out for a walk instead maybe, get her an ice-cream or something like that. There is no need for you to stop going out on dates, just stop taking them out on fancy dates until you feel that sparkle. :)

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  • Nope because I always split it. Sometimes I let him pay and then stuff money in his coat pocket. I'm no gold digger

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  • I've only ever been on a first date at a restaurant once, and now we're married and have children. I asked him out to coffee, but told him up front I'm broke as hell and he'd have to get out, lol (we had been talking for months) and he said that was okay. I got hot cocoa, he got coffee, and we got some toast since I was super sick.

    However, I'd go on a date with him paying only if I knew him a bit, and knew I had interest. If not, I'd pay my half, especially if I felt no connection

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  • I'd NEVER do that to a guy. I can afford to buy my own food.

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  • Yes, but sometimes you can so very happy

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  • No, but I do go on dates with guys I'm not that into just in case there's something there I didn't realize.

    I prefer to split the check for that reason.

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  • No, because I pay for myself on dates so it wouldn't be a free meal haha.
    I am willing to give guys a chance though. So even if I'm not crushing on him I might still go out with him just to see if there's any spark.

    How are you meeting these girls? If you're meeting them on tinder/online/some dating app, perhaps try exchanging Facebook profiles and try communicating and getting to know each other more before going on an actual date. Then only go out with the ones who you feel you have a stronger connection with.

    Or you can try just asking them out for coffee or ice cream, so it doesn't cost as much.

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    • I meet them at various places, but mostly when I go out (dancing, bars, etc.) or through mutual friends. My mom also said that I should get to know them more before I ask them out. But I guess it's easier to just go on a coffee date and see if there's anything there. Thanks!

    • if your friends are introducing you, you can have a movie night at a friend's house, or some group activity like that! I've done it before, and it's a lot less awkward then a blind date because it's easier to have a bunch of people talking rather than just the two of you sitting there.
      And I agree with your mom - see if you can establish a texting relationship before going out with them. Or if they really want to see you, you can go for coffee

What Guys Said 10

  • there was a new article on this. some girl exploited online dating websites to get guys to pay for her meals by taking her out on dates, she faked her interest in them and then she eventually told her friends about this strategy for free meals and casual fun and entertainment. i think she exploited like a total of $250,000 of free shit.

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    • Wow. She must have been pretty attractive to pull that off. That's what I'm talking about though. I don't want to be the sucker that gets played. Guess it comes down on being my fault since I'm the one asking. Lol

  • You can't ask that question man. They won't be honest with you. Women also have this thing about making themselves out to be better than they really are- nobody likes to admit to be an asshole or a bitch. They will always try to rationalize.

    I've been going out on dates and luckily I've been getting sex so it has worked out for me. It DOES cost a lot of money tho, money I don't have and in some cases the damn chicks make more than I do. They KNOW they make more and still let me pay. No thank yous, no offer to go Dutch.

    I'm thinking of being straight forward with the next women I will be dating. I want to say, "I only pay for girlfriends, not dates" and see what they do about it. Beware, it doesn't necessarily mean they're cool if they agree to it. One girl I dated bitched about it to our mutual friend, she put on a face of understanding tho when we were together. Women are two-faced man, except maybe your mom and that's only because she loves you.

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    • Keep it simple like Old Dinosaur said. Parks, walks, beach, carnival/fair. Nothing fancy.

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    • gold digging AND organ digging. there you have it,

    • Hahahaha. That's too funny man. But yea, I agree with being upfront with them from the start. That way you can weed through all the bullshit. And I agree with the two-faced thing too. I cheered in college and until then, I didn't realize how shady SOME girls are (they let down their guard with the guys on the team). I heard so many talk about how they used guys to get shit (free drinks, meals, etc.). And how they'd smile at each other and pretend to be best friends. And then turn around, and say "I can't stand that bitch. I hate her." It's a cold world. haha.

  • Dude, use that ingenuity of yours. Refrain from investing in expensive dates and gift giving of any kind on the first, second, and perhaps the third date. The reason to do so, if women are not into you, for whatever reason, a lavished date will not influence them to think any different of you, that is, unless they want you for you cash.

    Besides, extravagant dates and nice gifts and such have real value to women when and if they develop feelings for you. And if it never happens, then it never happens. There is no sweat off of their backs.

    Use your resources. Choose less expensive yet potentially enjoyable outings.

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    • Oh trust me, I've never gone a "lavish date," but anything over $35 is expensive in my opinion. Especially when it's one an done. When I've been dating a girl for a bit, I'll pay more. But just starting out, I'd rather it be free or cheap. So, I'll take that approach from now on. >$35 a pop adds up. Thanks for your comment!

  • There are ways to have cheaper dates. They don't always have to be a dinner/movie. Do a weekend date with a bike ride and picnic lunch.

    Take in a high school sporting event. You each take a side. Winner gets to choose whether the night ends with a kiss.
    You know - use your imagination.

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  • I don't know if a lot of women would go on a date just for the free meal, but the girls that do go on a lot of dates.

    Keep costs lower. Go for coffee or a drink and a walk or something on a first date.

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  • I didn't date in HS :-P but I dated quite a bit in college and I dated my wife when at the uni. I never did spend lots of money that way (I simply hadn't the money) I've never been a sugardaddy looking for a sugarbaby.

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    • Yea, I guess when I find the one I won't have to break bread to date her. Thanks for the answer. I don't really have extra money to spend either, so I'll be innovative and frugal with my dates from now on. haha

  • It's a complete waste of money. Raise your standards. If your just trying to get to know HER then keep it simple like a free museum, ice cream, smoothies, walking, etc. If your trying get laid then it's a sports bar and get some alcohol in her system to lower her inhibitions. I would wait until the second date to do things like a dinner date, dancing or a movie which are more intimate.

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  • Just split the cost at the date. She pays for what she gets and you pay for what you get. If they don't like it move on

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  • Yup, totally agree with what your father said. Oooooh the injustice we men suffer :'(

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  • No, why should it be?

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