GUYS! Do you like getting told by girls that they like you/have feelings for you? Or does it scare you away?

Currently trying to decide whether or not to tell this dude I have feelings for him. Thing is, I don't know whether he feels the same or even a little tiny bit the same. It's risky cause I don't want to scare him away cause I've told him too soon...


Most Helpful Guy

  • I like it very much when a girl is clear about having feelings for me. In the instance that I were told this by a girl who had not interested me in the past, I would still oblige her to try to get to know her better - I have had better experiences in pairings where the woman was the pursuer for the greater confidence in that she's interested. The forthcoming nature of this would also also be refreshing - what tends to scare me away is too much thought for too little action: if I suspect that a girl is pursuing me and she doesn't do so openly.

    You might do well to try another phrasing than 'feelings for you'. One that pangs less of the suggestion that someone thinks they love you after observing you from afar (more likely to scare) would be 'I'm interested in you', followed by 'I'd like to get to know you better'. Preferably, thereafter, spend time in private but don't call the engagements dates - that formal context has scared me away from every relationship so-attempted.

    • This was really helpful, thank you!

    • Having read anon-girl's comment below, remember to follow through to be the one to plan and organize at least the early engagements - it's like travelling sales: one doesn't go to the door and say 'I'd like to sell you some stuff. Here's my number. K'bye!' If things start to work out you may be able to rely more on him, but because you're the one who expressed interest he'll expect you to propose meetings.


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What Guys Said 1

  • No, too much too soon is a turn off and most likely to scare him away.


What Girls Said 2

  • When my husband and I were just friends, I told him straight to his face that I liked him, and it made him really happy.

    I think most guys would like it, at least the guys I know, they think girls are confusing and are never sure if they should make a move, so I bet they'd be really surprised and impressed if a girl was straightforward about it.

    Just, if and when you tell him, make it casual so you don't come off like you love him. If it makes you more comfortable you could always like playfully hint at it to see if he has any feelings for you, then tell him.

    I think you should just go ahead and tell him, even if he doesn't like you back, I bet he'll still be impressed you had the guts to tell him and then you'd know his true feelings.

  • I wouldn't I told a guy I liked him he never called back or talk to me again. Let him say it first a couple of times then you. so that you will not get your feelings hurt.