Is it too soon to tell him this?

I met this guy on an online dating site. We went on a date about a week ago, and it went really well. Talked for two hours straight, and have been exchanging paragraph-long texts since then. We're going out again tonight, just casual dinner and some wandering around. The thing is, I'm 22 and I have absolutely zero dating experience. Because of that I'm wanting to take things really slowly. I mean, I didn't even want him to come pick me up from my house. That even seemed like too much! But we've spent so little time together, so is it too soon to sit down with him and just say
"I used to be a really shy person, and because of that I'm completely new to this whole dating thing. I like hanging out with you, and I would like to continue getting to know you, but I need to take things really slowly. I hope that's okay".
Or is that too serious/lame/loserish/pathetic/embarrassing.
And is it too soon?
Guys, how would you react if a girl said all that to you?

Updates:
The main reason I'd bring this up at all is because I don't want him to think I'm not interested in him. Just to reassure him that I'm getting there, I just need a little more time.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It is better to tell him early in the relationship so he understands the pace and doesn't think you are just not that into him or very complicated. I am sure conversation will allow you to take a moment to explain it to him that you want to take things slow -- I don't think you need to actually go into a lot of detail like you did for us, but just say it. If he asks why or about your dating history, turn it into a positive v. saying you were always shy - maybe you had different priorities (don't lie if it isn't true) -- you don't want to scare him away either so just be calm and collected if possible and be willing to grow - show that you are willing to grow in your actions.. :)

    Everything will work out for the best. Dating is fun and you will get comfortable in time. :)

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What Guys Said 6

  • noo that's perfectly fine. I was expecting something like "I think im in love with you.." hahaa. don't Mosby him! but seriously like what you said is very subtle and tame, respectful and clear, informative and straight. I don't see anything wrong with it.

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  • In his place, I would appreciate if you were open about it - it would just become apparent later otherwise. I would be concerned about slow sexual progression or relative sexual disinterest in my partner, which can be a tedious experience if you're already experienced sexually.

    Do interesting, mentally engaging things together like urban exploring and collaborative projects. Work at getting to know the person, learning about their history and the experiences that are emotionally important to them - share the same about yourself. As long as you can keep things interesting and keep progression frequent in at least some aspect of the relationship, it shouldn't feel for him like riding a trolley pulled by an infant when could pick up the infant and the trolley and move five times as fast.

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  • You said it perfectly, and the sooner the better.

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  • Agree. What you suggest is perfect. Not lame or stupid or anything like that. Just honest. You are doing just fine. You'll get more confident as it goes on.

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  • I guess you must REALLY trust him if you're so quick to admit your weaknesses... aka lack of experience.

    Look , I won't judge you for it. I'm sure he's a nice guy , but you really gotta be careful about Internet Dating , it has just been a week , a week is barely enough to pierce the surface of the human mind. Some people may have ulterior motives.

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    • Oh I am careful, don't worry. That's a big reason why I'm not yet comfortable with him picking me up from my house. I know facts about him, but I don't really know what kind of person he is. Not yet, anyway.

  • It's the perfect time to tell him that.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I saw this question yesterday...

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    • Well that's weird because I can assure you I haven't asked it before

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    • yeah there are many questions that are similar to what many users are asking. no way Asker could've known though :D

    • Shhh, the two of you.

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