Is it normal to be insecure when a girl is "busy and barely talks"?

I've been talking to this girl for awhile, and we haven't made it official yet (which is what makes me insecure, cause she's super attractive and gets hit on a lot lol)

there's times where she gets "busy" and can barely talk to me. She's 24, currently unemployed, and finished school. I dont understand what she could be doing ALL day that makes her so busy to not talk to me

I'm a full time student and i work part time. My busiest day, involves me going to school half the day then working the other half of the day. I CAN STILL text and hold a conversation during that time.

So i'm just really confused. And honestly it makes me really insecure that either she lost interest (found another guy) or I don't know what

  • you're over thinking it
    33% (3)33% (2)33% (5)Vote
  • lost interest/other (bad)
    56% (5)67% (4)60% (9)Vote
  • other (post what)
    11% (1)0% (0)7% (1)Vote
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Updates:
I want to mention the reason why I get insecure, is because we NORMALLY talk all day EVERY day

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that if you don't take a step to either make something "official" you are going to lose any chance. is it normal to feel insecure about these things? I suppose so but if you don't sort of press the relationship forward, or at least in the direction you want things to go you can't really blame her for not always being by her phone

    the fact is she isn't obligated to text you throughout the day, you two aren't dating. so you just have to have fair expectations of a person who as of now is only a friend.

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What Girls Said 2

  • She could very well have lost interest... or she could just be in a down and out season in her life...
    Freud said, in so many words, that having a job gives you a reality... Psychologist say that when a person is unemployed for a duration of time, they begin to lose purpose and that is not a positive feeling. So she may really just be having a season of being down and out right now - what ever she is doing...

    I would say to ask her to dinner. Tell her you haven't seen her smile in awhile and you'd like to over dinner.
    See where it goes from there.

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  • I would say she's lost interest. I have a very similar profile as what you describe lol and if I liked a guy, I wouldn't be too busy to text her. And even if I was busy, I'd find time to text him.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It's probable that the give-a-fuck-train has left the station. Everyone has time - they just choose how to spend it and consider some expenses not worthwhile. An interested person will make time, and if they cannot make time they will express when they will be able to make time. Saying 'I'm busy', without further context, is just a way of dismissing a person without taking the trouble to explain why.

    That said, if you want to dig deeper, be explicit about your concern, trying not to be accusational. Also, avoid jumping the gun on your own interest - if you've progressed mentally beyond the actual progression of the relationship, you're liable to scare her off. Try to do something interesting together, not calling it a date but a way to get to know each other better - it's less commitment-at-the-onset and could help to mature your own interest.

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    • Digging deeper in regards to what? and how should i be explicit about my concern without being accusational?

      and can you explain "Also, avoid jumping the gun on your own interest - if you've progressed mentally beyond the actual progression of the relationship, you're liable to scare her off. "

    • You could ask something along the lines of 'would you prefer that I stop contacting you? You seem unresponsive'.

      We can develop expectations of how a courting will go that are far advanced of what someone would expect if we spend too much time thinking about a romantic interest - the more you can hold back romantic interest until you've gotten to know the personality of the girl, the less likely you'll be to obsess and risk scaring her on the basis of obsession.

  • That uncomfortable feeling of insecurity is a prompt for to chill out, ease back and let things unfold naturally. It is possible that she needs a little break from the all day, everyday conversation. Too much of any one thing is never good. Now this does not mean she lost interest, she may just need some time to herself, family, friends, job search (she's unemployed, naturally she's going to need to focus on a job search of some kind) or whatever it may be. But this is not bad news, it's a great opportunity for you to enjoy some of your personal interests and work on personal goals. If it does seem she is shying away from talking as much, do heed the message she is trying to send, ease back on the amount chat time, giving both of you some time & space for your own selves. This will make her appreciate the time you do talk a lot more. Try to force the conversation meter back to 10 and you could push her away.

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  • Are you dating? Have you had sex with her?

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  • Difficult to call this one. But it sounds like she's enjoying the attention from you but not that interested in you or your feelings.

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  • She's lost interest because you're too clingy, too available and too insecure. That's my opinion anyway.

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